


I want to spend the eternity with you

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Immortal Alec, Immortality Rune, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-14 09:31:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11205228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Alec has always feared the future; the fear of abandoning Magnus and their son, Max, has always caused him great distress. But, now he has a way to stay with them forever. Clary was able to draw an Immortality Rune, which would mean him becoming immortal as well. But things aren't so simple, they never are and Alec struggles with making the right decision.





	1. Immortality Rune

**Author's Note:**

> Idea given by someone on Tumblr ^^
> 
> I know that Cassandra Clare said that Clary isn't able to make an Immortality Rune but for the sake of this fanfic, I decided to change that part.

_Life is hardly more than a fraction of a second._

_Such a little time to prepare oneself for eternity!_

**\- Paul Gauguin  
**

* * *

 

Alec was sitting in the living room, curled up into a ball, wrapped up in the blanket. It was in the middle of the night, but he couldn’t sleep, because he had too much on his mind. Ever since Clary had told him that she was able to draw an Immortality rune, Alec couldn’t sleep properly at night, because there were so many questions on his mind and he was desperate to get some answers. Deep inside, he wanted that rune, but the decision wasn’t that simple. The rune was permanent and it would mean Alec living forever, which at first sight seemed amazing. That way, he wouldn’t have to leave Magnus and Max and he was beyond happy about that. Leaving Magnus behind was something that he was terrified of, so this would mean a way of them being together forever. However, things weren’t that simple, they never were.

Being immortal meant watching all of his friends and family grow old and die. He didn’t know if his heart would be able to witness such a heartbreak, but at the same time, he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Magnus and their son. Max was around six already and was slowly becoming to realise what it meant being a warlock. He still didn’t ask what the main reason between Shadowhunters and warlocks was, but Alec was terrified of that day, since he knew that it was coming. It would probably break the boy’s heart when he’d let him know that he was going to die eventually, leaving him and Magnus behind.

Alec cursed and curled himself tighter against the couch, throwing his head back. He was beyond frustrated, letting out a loud yawn. He was tired as well, because he hadn’t slept in forever, but he knew that if he would go back to the bed with Magnus that he would be wide awake again. Just watching Magnus’ sleeping face made it hard for him to breathe and he just clicked with his tongue. He still didn’t give Clary a proper answer yet, he needed to discuss it with Magnus before. They needed to have a talk about that, since that was such a serious topic. It was Alec’s life, but in the end, it would have a big impact on both of their lives.

Not only would that he have to have a talk with Magnus, but what about the Clave? Up until then, there had never been a Shadowhunter that could draw new runes. Clary was the first one and the Clave was still watching her very closely. Besides, an Immortality rune was a big thing and they would probably make it illegal if they’d happen to find out about it. It would make sense, since people would probably take advantage of it, but at the same time it would be able to prevent a lot of unneeded deaths. Alec cursed and said something under his breath, closing his eyes. All of this thinking was giving him a headache and he clenched his jaw; he didn’t know what to do. He really didn’t. He had never been more conflicted in his life before.

Magnus woke up somewhere in the middle of the night and was surprised to see that Alec wasn’t sleeping next to him. Lately, Alec had been rather spending the nights in their living room than in their bedroom and even though he asked it multiple number of times, he never got a clear answer. Alec would just tell him that he couldn’t sleep at night, but never provided him with an answer what was bothering his sleep. Before going to the living room to check up on his lover, the warlock wrapped himself into a blanket and then slowly made his way to the living room. He didn’t let Alec see him quite yet and his heart throbbed when he saw that Alec was troubled about something. There was a deep frown between his eyebrows, jaw clenched and his body stiff, eyes full of worry and Magnus almost ran up to him to give him a hug.

“Shit, this is so hard,” whispered the Shadowhunter to himself.

“What is, darling?” asked Magnus and Alec almost jumped, since he expected to be completely alone. Magnus decided to let the other one know about his presence and he slowly made his way to the couch, sitting down next to Alec, who was still curled up into a ball, sighing when he pressed a hand on top of his lover’s head.  Because Alec didn’t reply quite soon, the warlock clicked with his tongue and then scooted closer. “Why are you up at this hour? Couldn’t sleep again?” asked Magnus and rolled his eyes. “Come on, tell me what’s been bugging you for the past week. It’s killing me to see you like this. Not only that you aren’t getting enough sleep and are exhausted during the days, but I can see that something else had been bothering you for a while now. You know that you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” muttered Alec and then stayed quiet for a few moments. It wasn’t like he was avoiding talking about it with Magnus, but he just didn’t know how to initiate the conversation about it. “So,” he then started and Magnus straightened up when he could see that Alec was mentally preparing himself to tell him what was on his mind. “You know how Clary has the ability to draw new runes?” stammered Alec and Magnus arched an eyebrow.

“Yes?” asked the warlock, not knowing where the conversation was going, so he waited for the other to continue.

“Well, she was able to draw another one the last week,” said Alec and Magnus cocked his head to the side, slowly nodding. He didn’t know what to do with that information in the moment, but it looked like it was important. “It’s different to her runes before,” he then added and took in a deep breath.

“What kind of rune is it, Alexander?” asked Magnus softly.

“Immortality rune,” said Alec simply and Magnus’ eyes grew huge. He felt his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach, thinking that Alec already had the rune on him and felt sick down to his stomach. Also, he felt betrayed, because Alec never had a talk about it with him before. He couldn’t believe that Alexander would go behind his back and do something like that. They had discussed it before; immortality wasn’t something to joke about. Magnus hated that part of himself and he didn’t want anyone to experience the pain that being immortal brought.

“No,” snapped Magnus and lifted Alec’s shirt up, trying to search for the rune. Alec quickly pulled his shirt down and shook his head.

“I don’t have it yet, Magnus,” whispered Alec. “I was just toying with the idea of having it, but the more I think about it, the more unsure I am. Besides, do you really think I’d do this without your consent?” asked the Shadowhunter and Magnus slowly shook his head, knowing that Alec had a point. But, he was still visibly shook to hear that. Alec was thinking about being immortal ever since they had gotten together, but now he actual had a way of doing it. “Plus, I don’t know the effects it could have on my body. It’s not tested yet, of course, so-”

“You won’t do it,” ordered Magnus and Alec was taken back with the way the warlock spoke to him.

“Excuse me?” asked Alec. “It’s _my_ life and I-”

“Alec,” said Magnus, his voice tense, but calm. “I’m telling you this because I love you. Trust me, you don’t want immortality, I thought we already talked about this. Sure, living forever sounds amazing, but it’s not. If there was a way that would take away my immortality, I’d do it,” said the warlock. “You don’t know how painful it is to watch the people you care about grow old and die, while you get to live forever, meet new people that become dear to you and then they-” he said, his voice trailing off and he took in a deep breath, shaking his head. “It’s not that simple,” said Magnus. “I’d never wish such a curse upon you.”

“But,” stammered Alec and swallowed back his next words and he slowly nodded. Magnus was right, of course he was, like always. It made him angry that the warlock was able to always think rationally, but at times, being rational wasn’t the best thing. Alec wanted Magnus to be more selfish and tell him to get that rune; he wished that Magnus would tell him that he wanted to be with him for the eternity. “Someday, I’ll die,” heard himself say Alec and Magnus stiffened, knowing that that argument was coming. “I don’t want to leave you,” said the Shadowhunter. “Don’t you want that? Don’t you want us to be together forever?”

“Alexander,” whispered Magnus and gripped the man’s shoulder and then slowly shook his head. Sure, being together would be wonderful. The three of them; he, Alec and Magnus, together for the eternity. But, that wouldn’t be fair, it was a selfish thing to think. “I’d rather have you for the limited amount of time and enjoy every little moment between us than to have you forever and watch you crumble apart when you’d see just how horrible it is to actually live forever.”

“But-”

“That’s enough,” said Magnus, his voice still tense. “Now, let’s go back to bed. And stop filling your pretty little head with such things. I’m telling you, it’s not worth it,” said Magnus and then offered Alec his hand. The Shadowhunter wanted to say something in return, but he just took his hand and went onto his legs.

 _It is worth it if it means spending eternity with you_ , thought Alec, but never said those words out loud.


	2. Let me take your pain away

_From my rotting body,_

_Flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity._

**\- Edvard Munch**

* * *

Jace had his arm wrapped around his _parabatai_ ’s waist as he was struggling to keep Alec up on his legs. The two of them were out on the mission with Izzy. Jace didn’t even know when it happened, but he suddenly found Alec lying on the floor with a demon on top of him. The creature had already bit Alec several times and since the young man was slipping in and out of consciousness, Jace knew that his _parabatai_ was in a big amount of trouble. The demon venom was running through his veins and Jace knew he needed to get help before the venom would reach Alec’s heart and stop it from beating.

In panic, Isabelle phoned Magnus what had happened and Magnus made sure he had everything that he needed to heal Alec. While the trio was coming over to his place, Magnus was running around the apartment, trying to get everything under control, but to be honest, he didn’t know what he was doing. From what he heard, Alec was pretty badly injured; a Shadowhunter having demon venom in their system was never a good thing and if they didn’t get a proper help, a Shadowhunter would pass away. That thought burned into Magnus’ mind and he was beyond terrified. Because he didn’t want little Max to witness Alec being injured like that, he made sure that his friend Catarina came over and took Max over to her place, saying that they were going to have a fun sleep over. Magnus didn’t like lying to their son, but it needed to be done. He was going to tell him later what happened, but first, he needed to make sure that Alec was going to be okay. He couldn’t afford losing his lover like that; not to a demon attack. The only one who was going to take Alec from his grasp was time and even that hurt like hell.

By the time Jace and Izzy brought Alec home, the Shadowhunter was already in a much terrible condition, his complexion was pale, dark circles under his eyes and his breathing was laboured, the venom making his throat swell and Magnus almost had a heart attack when he saw Alec. Up until then, he had only seen Alec in a similar condition once and it killed him even then when the thought that Alec passed away for a split second. But now, this was completely different and Magnus knew that his time was very limited to save his lover. He sent Isabelle and Jace to wait for him in the living room, while he carried his unconscious lover to the bedroom and gently placed his down onto the bed, trying to make Alec as comfortable as possible.

It was somewhere in the middle of that that Alec managed to regain his consciousness and he let out a loud yelp of pain. His entire body felt as if it was on fire, yet he was shivering from coldness. He gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes, trying to make out who was leaning over him. He knew that he was home, but he couldn’t recognise the person leaning above him. The person was calling out his name and after he felt a gentle touch at the cheek, Alec knew that it was Magnus. “M-Magnus,” panted the Shadowhunter and arched his back when he felt a piercing pain through his shoulder, where the demon bites were. He looked over to his shoulder and his eyes widened when he saw the state of his shoulder. The wound was deep, the flesh showing and he was still bleeding. He didn’t know how much blood he had lost, but he felt really dizzy, so it must’ve been a lot. Or maybe it was the venom causing his dizziness. “I-I,” he stammered and started struggling to breathe, almost hyperventilating at some point. He grabbed his throat and Magnus’ eyes grew huge when he saw Alec, his heart breaking when Alec’s eyes rolled back into his head.

“Alexander, I need you to calm down, okay?” whispered Magnus, trying to be calm since Alec was in the middle of panic attack. “Come on, for fuck’s sake Alexander, listen to me,” snapped Magnus, panicking as well as he was running through his prepared potions. “Demon venom is running through your veins and if you don’t calm down, I won’t be able to help you,” he added desperately, Alec gripping onto his shoulder. The Shadowhunter barely registered the meaning of the warlock’s words, but he managed to not and he calmed down just a little bit. “Good,” crooned Magnus against Alec’s lips and forced a tiny smile. “Drink this,” whispered Magnus and offered Alec a bottle with a blue liquid inside. With his free hand, Magnus held Alec’s head up and brought the little bottle to Alec’s lips. “It’ll help with your throat swelling, you’ll be able to breathe properly.”

Alec slowly nodded and emptied the given bottle. He grimaced, because the potion tasted horribly bitter, but he forced it down his swollen throat and then started coughing, Magnus quickly placing his head down and then pressed a kiss on top of his head. “I know, it tastes horrible,” said Magnus, his voice breaking. “You’re doing so great, Alexander,” he then added and Alec barely managed a smile. But, then a horrible pain pierced through his entire body again and Magnus froze. It was the venom.

“Hurts,” moaned Alec out and gripped onto the bedsheets. “Everywhere,” he then stammered and Magnus’ lower lip trembled at the sight of his lover.

“I know, darling, I know. But I promise, I’ll take your pain away,” said Magnus weakly and then placed his hands on top of Alec’s body, blue sparks flying from underneath his fingers. Alec almost smiled when he felt a wave of relief hitting his body, the horrible pain finally gone and he threw his head back.

After a while, Magnus gave Alec another potion, which helped with getting rid of the last drop of the venom in Alec’s body and Magnus had to lean back against the wall when he was done with healing Alec. He was beyond tired, his magic weak, but he felt weight lifting off his chest. He managed to save Alec, barely, but he was able to do it. When he was able to save Alec, he waddled over to the living room, because he was exhausted as well and let Isabelle and Jace know that Alexander was going to be okay. Because they knew that Magnus and Alec needed to spend some time on their own, Isabelle and Jace went home after that and Magnus returned back to the bedroom. Alec, who was now resting on the bed, had a troubled expression on his face and Magnus slowly got onto the bed as well, scooting closer to him and he gently cradled his face, a tired smile coming upon his face.

“I can’t believe it, I almost lost you,” whispered Magnus, his thumb gently caressing Alec’s cheek.

“Sorry,” breathed Alec out. He was angry with himself that he allowed the demon to attack him like that. It wasn’t even a strong one; he honestly didn’t know where it went wrong. “I just,” he then went on by saying, nuzzling into the touch. “I’m sorry for making you worry. And thank you for saving my life. Again,” he then added and Magnus shook his head.

“No need to thank me,” said Magnus, who was just happy that Alec was alive and well; other things didn’t matter at the moment. “But it did scare me. God, you almost died in my arms,” whispered the warlock and Alec’s throat went dry. “I tried not to think of the worse, but-”

“Yeah, that’s understandable,” muttered Alec and looked away. If he was immortal, the demon venom couldn’t touch him anymore. He’d probably be invincible. He pressed his lips together and a form formed between his eyebrows. Ever since that night, the two of them didn’t talk about the Immortality rune anymore. Clary did ask him a few times if he thought about it, but he still didn’t know what he should say. Magnus said that he wouldn’t like it, but Alec was still torn.

“I worry every time you go out missions like this,” confessed Magnus and sighed. “I know you’re the biggest and bravest Shadowhunter out there, but today just proved that even _you_ can get injured,” muttered the warlock. “I know it’s your job, but I hate it when you have to go and leave me and Max all alone.”

“I’m sorry,” muttered Alec, not really knowing what to say. His eyes then widened when Max was mentioned and he struggled to get up into sitting position. “Max! Where’s Max?” asked Alec, trying to get out of the bed, to go check up on their son.

“He’s over at Catarina’s,” whispered Magnus. “I didn’t want him around when you were injured like that. I feared of the worst, so I didn’t want him to be around in case you-” stammered Magnus, his voice breaking when he remembered how pale Alec was and tears welled up in his eyes. He quickly took in a deep breath and collected himself.

“Okay,” whispered Alec and nodded, happy to hear that Magnus decided to send Max over at Catarina’s for the night. It was a smart decision; he didn’t want to scar the poor child in case he’d seen him in that condition. The Immortality rune was soon back on Alec’s mind and he sighed when he laid back down next to Magnus, placing his head on top of the warlock’s chest and smiled when he felt Magnus’ fingers in his hair. “You wouldn’t have to worry about me if I accepted Clary’s offer,” he then suddenly blurted out and placed a hand over his own mouth. He wasn’t intending to say that out loud; it just slipped out.

“What?” asked Magnus, who visibly stiffened at Alec’s comment and looked down disapprovingly. “Don’t tell me you’re still thinking about it,” said the warlock and frowned when Alec wasn’t saying anything. “Alexander, no, don’t… we’re not doing this again,” he said. “I thought we had an agreement.”

“I never agreed to that,” said Alec stubbornly and frowned again. “Don’t put words into my mouth.”

“Alexander-”

“What?” asked Alec softly and sighed. “Just tell me one thing and then I’ll let it go for today, okay?” asked the Shadowhunter and Magnus slowly nodded. “For once, be selfish, Magnus and tell me what you really want. Don’t think how it would affect me, just for a minute and tell me if you’d want me to have it? Would you want me to become immortal?”

Magnus tensed, clenching his jaw and he closed his eyes. Being selfish wasn’t in his nature, at least not when it came to people he truly cared about. But Alec told him that he could be selfish. Trying to ignore the consequences it would have on Alec’s life, Magnus focused only on himself and a tiny smile appeared on his face when he thought about it; it was wonderful. The thought of Alec joining him in eternity was so pleasant and of course he wished for it. “Yeah,” said Magnus. “I would love for you to be with me forever,” heard himself say Magnus and then quickly stopped talking.

“Finally, you admitted it,” said Alec and smiled tiredly.

“Yes, of course I want you to be with me forever, but,” stammered the warlock and shook his head. “It wouldn’t be right of me to ask of you to give up so much for me,” whispered Magnus and gripped Alec’s hand. “Like you said it yourself, it would be extremely selfish of me to ask so much of you. Besides, we don’t know what kind of effect the rune might have on your body. Maybe your body wouldn’t be able to stand it and I’d end up losing you anyway,” whispered the older man and looked down.

Alec opened his mouth, to tell Magnus that he wanted him to be selfish, but he then just closed his mouth and nodded. He was far too tired to argue about that again with Magnus. “Yeah, I’m worried about that as well. But that’s the chance I’m willing to take,” confessed Alec. “Plus, the Clave would be after me. I’m pretty sure that they would make the rune illegal.”

“That’s true,” muttered Magnus. “I don’t want them to lock you up,” he then added and Alec just scooted closer and yawned. “Now then, sleep. You’re exhausted and so am I,” he said. “We’ll continue the talk about this tomorrow, okay?” promised Magnus and Alec quickly nodded, feeling happy that Magnus wanted to have a proper talk about it. However, that conversation never came and for the first time, Magnus didn’t keep his promise to Alec. He was too terrified.


	3. We'll be together forever, right Papa?

_Unable are the loved to die,_

_For love is immortality._

**\- Emily Dickinson**

* * *

 

“Come on, my little Blueberry, you need to go to bed,” said Magnus, who was chasing Max around his bedroom. It was the time for little Max to go to bed, but he refused to do so. Alec was currently in the living room, keeping himself distanced from Magnus, because things were really tense between the two of them lately and again, it was all because of the Immortality rune. Magnus cursed the day Clary told Alec about it, because ever since that day, the Shadowhunter was completely obsessed whit it.

“No, I am not going to bed!” stated the little boy and crossed his little arms on top of his chest, shaking his head. “I want daddy,” said Max then and made a step back when Magnus was about to pick him up. “I want daddy and Papa to stop fighting,” he then added, his lower lip starting to tremble.

 Magnus froze in place when he heard Max say that and he quickly shook his head. The warlock knew that things between him and Alec were strained the past few weeks, but they’ve never had a proper fight about it. At least not in front of their son, for his sake they tried to pretend that everything was okay. But apparently, the little warlock knew more than they thought and Magnus got down onto his knees, signing his son to come closer. “We aren’t fighting,” said Magnus, feeling his heart ache when he told his first lie to their son and Max’s eyes grew huge. But then again, maybe it wasn’t a lie. Magnus wasn’t sure what it was.

Max knew that Papa was lying, he could always tell when people were lying to him. “You’re lying, Papa,” said Max stubbornly and placed his hands together behind his back, looking even smaller than usual. “Why isn’t daddy here to tuck me in as well? I want him to read me a bed-time story,” he then added and Magnus felt horrible when tears started gathering in the boy’s eyes.

Before Magnus could do something, the little boy let out a muffled sniffle and then started crying out loud. He wasn’t usually the type of a child who cried a lot, but this time was different. Despite his young age, he knew that something was wrong and one of the things that he hated the most was when people fought. He didn’t know why Papa and daddy were fighting, but he was old enough to see the way they acted towards each other. Alec was really distant and so was Magnus. When they would be alone with Max, they were acting like their usual selves, but when the two of them would be together, there was a lot of tension between them. And little Max hated that; he wanted daddy and Papa to make up. Frustrated as he was, he couldn’t help but to burst into loud crying and Alec was in his room in a heartbeat.

“Max, what’s wrong?” asked Alec and his eyes widened when he saw Magnus sitting on the boy’s bed, rocking the crying boy back and forth, trying to calm him down. The man was humming a tune of a lullaby, hoping that would calm Max down, but it didn’t. Without thinking twice, Alec walked to the bed and then kneeled down next to Magnus, who gave him a weak smile and then he gently rubbed Max’s back.

“Shh, Max. Look, daddy’s here,” whispered Magnus and Max stopped crying for a split second and looked down. His big, puffy eyes found Alec’s, his tears retuning when he saw that his dad was wearing a troubled expression on his face. Daddy and Papa were still fighting. “Shh, don’t cry,” said Magnus and chuckled. “Come on, you’re a big boy.”

“Magnus, what happened?” asked Alec carefully.

“He wants us to stop fighting,” stammered Magnus and Alec frowned, because he couldn’t remember that he and Magnus were having a fight. He was a bit taken back when he saw the sad expression on Magnus’ face and he cocked his head to the side, still not knowing that the older one meant. They weren’t having a fight; Alec was aware that he was being distant, but that wasn’t because of a fight. He just had a lot on his mind and he always took it out on Magnus by being distant to him.

“But we aren’t fighting,” stated Alec confused. “Max, we weren’t fighting. Papa and I are getting along just perfectly,” he said and Max quickly covered his ears, not wanting to hear any more of those horrible lies.

“Are we, Alexander?” asked Magnus, his heart hammering against his ribcage now. “Are we really okay?”

“Yes!” exclaimed Alec and then hid his face into his palms before he ran fingers through his hair in frustration. “We aren’t fighting, Max,” whispered Alec and then his eyes found Magnus’ unglamoured ones. “You have to believe me, Magnus, I just have a lot on my mind,” said Alec and placed a hand on top of Max’s hair, gently ruffling his blue curls. “I’m just a bit stressed, but me and Magnus are not having a fight.”

“Really?” asked Max and Magnus in unison. Max was happy to hear that, while Magnus was surprised. A tiny smile tugged at Alec’s lips when the other two spoke in unison and he gently pinched one of Max’s cheeks, wiping the tears away and then placed a few kisses all over the boy’s face. Alec’s hair tickled little Max’s face, so he giggled, while Magnus just sat there, watching the other two.

“I mean it,” said Alec and leaned up, cradling the warlock’s face and kissed him gently. “I’m not angry with you, you did nothing wrong,” said the Shadowhunter and finally a tiny smile cracked Magnus’ expression as well. He allowed himself to be pulled into a hug and Max’s giggles grew loud when Alec placed his arms around him and Magnus, pulling them into a tight, crushing hug, but neither of them complained. Max beamed with joy when he saw his parents kissing again and weight lifted off his chest; everything was okay again.

In little Max’s opinion, he was the happiest when he was with Magnus and Alec. Together. Thinking that they would be together _forever_ , he let out a happy sigh and clapped with his little palms. “I don’t like it when Papa and daddy fight,” said the little warlock. “I’m happy that you stopped fighting. Now we can be together again. Forever, right, Papa?” he asked and his innocent, simple question was enough to break Magnus’ heart, making him flinch. Usually, he wouldn’t be bothered by such a little question, but all this talk about Alec’s mortality lately took a toll on him and he just looked down. Alec could almost hear Magnus’ heart breaking and heck, he’d be lying if he said that Max’s question didn’t make his chest pain as well. Max, on the other hand, frowned when he noticed that Magnus and Alec weren’t smiling anymore and he frowned. “Right, daddy?” tried Max again, this time looking over at Alec, who just shrugged.

 _Forever is such a subjective word_ , thought Alec, but didn’t say it out loud. Instead, he clasped his hands together and his frown deepened. “Yeah, that’s right,” managed to say Alec, but Max knew that it was a lie. Alec almost cursed out loud when a worried expression came onto Max’s face and he looked back at Magnus, who wore a sad expression as well and his eyes widened.

“Papa?” asked Max. “A-aren’t you happy to be forever with me and daddy?” asked the little boy, his voice shaking a bit. Thinking that Magnus didn’t wish that, Max quickly climbed off his lap, going onto his bed and he looked down, pressing his stuffed toy against his chest. “Papa, you told me that warlocks live forever,” stammered the boy. “So, we can be together forever!” he then stated and looked over at Alec.

The Shadowhunter cursed; this was what he was afraid of. Max knew what being a warlock meant, but still wasn’t told that Alec wasn’t going to live forever. Sure, the boy knew that his father was a Shadowhunter, but Max didn’t really grasp the meaning of that word yet. “Max, I’m not a warlock,” said Alec slowly and Max nodded.

“I know, I’m a big boy, remember?” asked Max and patted himself on the chest proudly. “Daddy’s a Shadowhunter, like aunt Izzy and uncle Jace and Clary,” then went on by saying the boy. “And like grandpa and grandma too!”

“That’s right,” said Magnus and forced a weak smile. He felt a lump in his throat and he swallowed thickly, feeling sick down to his stomach. All that he wanted to do at that moment was to run away, he didn’t want to be there and Alec could see that. The Shadowhunter felt the same, but at the same time, they couldn’t keep on lying to Max forever. “But, you see, Max… Shadowhunters and warlocks aren’t exactly the same,” stammered Magnus. “One of the perks of being a warlock is living forever, yes. But Shadowhunters are a bit different in that way,” he added and then stopped talking, hoping that Max would understand.

Max nodded; he knew that there were differences. For example, he and Papa were able to conjure magic, while Alec wasn’t able to do so. On the other side, Alec always had all of those cool weapons to chase the evil demons away. He perked up when Magnus mentioned the perks of being a warlock and then frowned when he mentioned that Shadowhunters are different in that kind of way. In what way? He and Papa were immortal and Alec was different in that kind of way… Then it hit the little boy what Magnus meant and he quickly shook his head. He understood it, finally. Warlocks were immortal, Shadowhunters weren’t.  

“Daddy won’t live forever with us?” asked Max and Alec had to look away when he saw Max crumbling apart in front of his eyes and he puffed his cheeks, trying not to give into his emotions. “No!” yelled Max, his face wet with tears again. “No, it’s not fair!” cried out the little boy, hiding his face into his palms and hiccupped. “Daddy will leave us one day?” he then asked and with a heavy heart, Magnus nodded, scooping up the crying boy into his arms.

“I know it’s not fair, my little Blueberry, I know,” whispered Magnus, choked up. All of the talk about Alec’s mortality was slowly making him more and more scared of the future. He wanted to ignore those feelings, push them deep down without having to deal with them quite yet. But, Alec and Max were making that impossible and he said something under his breath.

Alec quickly climbed onto the bed and his heart was already broken. All that he could do was to wrap his arms around the two people that mean the world to him and hold them tightly to himself. “Hey, it’s going to be alright, okay?” whispered Alec as he placed a kiss on top of Max’s head and then kissed Magnus desperately again. But deep inside, he knew that it wouldn’t be okay.

After Max cried himself to sleep that night, Alec’s heart ached again when he heard Magnus’ loud sobbing coming from their bedroom. That night, Alec slept in his son’s bedroom, trying to block out Magnus’ loud sobs, which were finally gone somewhere towards the morning. Alec didn’t sleep that night, as many before, as well. He just lied there and tried his best not to go over to Clary and tell her that he made his decision, because he did. No matter what Magnus was going to tell him, he was getting that rune.

The decision was made in a heartbeat, all of the doubts gone in a blink of an eye; he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Magnus and Max behind. It was too heart-breaking. Even though Magnus thought that it would be selfish for him to ask so much of him, he wasn’t doing just for Magnus. He was doing it for himself; it was going to make him happy. So, yes, the Immortality rune was happening whether Magnus liked it or not.


	4. I'll always have your back, no matter what

_Forever is composed of nows._

**\- Emily Dickinson**

* * *

 

 “Alec,” called out a voice, but the Shadowhunter wasn’t completely out of it, not listening to Jace at all, who was trying to let him know only God knows what. The blond frowned and then shook his _parabatai_ ’s shoulder, frowning and he then rolled his eyes. “Alec, are you listening?” he then tried again, Alec finally looked at him.

“Yeah, um, yes,” stammered Alec and Jace shook his head.

“What’s up with you lately?” asked Jace, concerned. “Are you and Magnus having troubles? Izzy told me the other day that Magnus mentioned something about you two having a fight or something like that. I know I usually don’t like to talk about relationship drama, but I’ll make an exception for you,” said Jace, his cocky side coming through just a bit, but he was serious enough for Alec to know that he was there for him. He always was.

“No, not a fight, but,” stammered Alec and shrugged. “Max learned the main difference between what it means to be a warlock and a Shadowhunter,” said Alec and sighed. Jace’s eyes widened and he placed his hand on top of Alec’s shoulder, trying to show him that he was compassionate. Alec let out a nervous laughter and then just looked down. His heart ached again when he remembered that terrible night. Ever since then, things were beyond painful back at home. The usually bright and loud boy has completely changed; Max just sat there, not playing his toys anymore. It was as if he was already mourning Alec’s death and it pained Alec. No child should go through that. He let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back in his chair.

“Oh,” said Jace and sighed. “I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling.”

“Like crap,” confessed Alec.

“Yeah, but,” said the younger one. “It’s not like you can do something about it. It is what it is.”

“Not necessarily,” blurted out Alec.

“What do you mean?”

“Clary,” was Alec’s short reply and then looked over at Jace, who was waiting for a proper response. “Clary is able to draw an Immortality rune.”

“Since when?” asked Jace, tensing up.

“She told me about two months ago.”

“I knew it, I knew that she was hiding something from me!” said Jace. “And you too! Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Jace, kind of disappointed to see his own brother hiding things from him as well, not only his girlfriend. He then clicked with his tongue and Alec just bowed his head down as an apology. “So, did she already draw it?” asked Jace then, wondering if Alec already went ahead to get it. But that was probably highly unlikely, because their _parabatai_ bond was still strong as ever and he couldn’t feel anything different. He imagined that he would probably feel something if something so drastic happened to him.

“No, of course not. Yet,” said Alec and pressed his lips together. “But, I have made the decision already, I’ll go through with it. I just need to have a talk with Magnus about it before,” whispered Alec. “And you, of course, because this will affect you as well to some extent,” went on by saying the Shadowhunter and Jace slowly nodding, knowing that his _parabatai_ had a point.

Alec then looked over at Jace, who just sat there silently, without saying anything. Jace was conflicted; a part of him worried for his brother. His heart started beating faster and he nervous chewed on his lip the more that he continued to think about it. He wished that he could tell Alec not to go through with it, because they didn’t know what kind of affects the rune could have on his body. Then, there was the Clave as well. As well as Jace knew them, they were too narrow-minded people, who would probably make the rune illegal as soon as they would find out about its existence. And in a way, it would make sense, because who wouldn’t want to be immortal? Many Shadowhunters would use the rune for malicious things. And then there was the fear of abandonment. What if Alec wouldn’t be Shadowhunter anymore after getting the Immortality rune? Then what? He was his _parabatai_ and the blond couldn’t think of living without having Alec by his side. He looked up and his heart fell to the pit of his stomach when he saw how nervous Alec looked like and he just looked away, not knowing what to say. Yet, he still wanted to show support for his brother.

“What?” asked Alec, feeling his nervousness rising again and he just crossed his arms on top of his chest. “Are you going to try to talk me out of it as well?” he asked, because he was sick of people telling him what to do. “Magnus is against it, for the record,” said the Shadowhunter and just shook his head. “He wants to be with me forever, but he thinks that his wishes are selfish and he doesn’t want me to experience the same pain as he does. He thinks of the whole immortality thing as a curse and while I do get from where he’s coming from, I thought that he would be more supportive of it. This isn’t just about him, it’s about me as well.”

“No, I’m not going to try to talk you out of it; it would be practically impossible since you’ve clearly made up your mind already,” said Jace after a while and leaned back against his chair. “I just… are you really sure that you want this? I mean, let’s ignore _us_ for a little while and just try to focus on your own life, because Magnus _is_ right. This would mean living _forever_.”

“Jace, I know the definition of being immortal,” snapped Alec and rolled his eyes.

“Do you really?” asked Jace and straightened himself up. “Because it would mean watching us die… all of us. Do you really think you’d be able to handle the pain of leaving us behind?” asked the blond one after a little while, his voice shaking a little bit. “And what would happen to you if the Clave finds out that Clary made you immortal? They would lock you up, you’d be forced to spend the eternity under their control. Do you want Magnus to go through all of that? Plus, you have a child and-”

“I’m well aware of all of this, Jace,” said Alec, who calmed down and he silently nodded. “Leaving you behind would kill me, believe me, but the thought of leaving Max and Magnus behind is even more unbearable. I want to do this for me, it would make me happy,” confessed Alec and felt his heart breaking again when he remembered Max’s and Magnus’ loud sobs. “Magnus has lost so much already, I don’t want him to lose me as well. And I don’t care for the Clave, they don’t need to know quite yet,” he said and Jace’s lower lip trembled when he saw that Alec had already made up his mind for good. “But I do worry what might happen to our bond. I just don’t want to lose you, at least not yet.”

Jace sighed and then nodded, knowing from where Alec was coming from. Even though he didn’t fully agree with his decision yet, he was going to support his brother no matter what. This meant a lot to Alec, so of course he wasn’t going to abandon him now when he needed him the most. “I understand,” said Jace softly. “Look, I might not agree with you yet, but I want you to know that you have my support. I want you to be happy, Alec, you deserve it,” he said. “And even though our _parabatai_ bond might get affected by the rune, I’ll always have your back. No matter what.” After that, Jace placed a hand on top of Alec’s shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.

Speechless, Alec just smiled and then nodded. “Thank you, it’s good to know to that at least one person is on my side," said Alec and then made a short pause for a little while. “Would you do it? Would you want to be immortal as well?”

“No, immortality isn’t for Jace Wayland,” said Jace, his cocky side showing again, but then he went serious again. “My forever is now with Clary. I don’t want anything else but to live in the moment with her,” he then said and Alec rolled his eyes at the cheesy lines, but the smile remained on his lips. He was happy to hear that; Jace was finally happy for once in his life.

“Why can’t you say such romantic things when there’s just the two of us?” suddenly said a voice and someone playfully punched Jace’s shoulder. When the two men turned around, Jace smiled when he saw his girlfriend and chuckled when the red-head leaned closer, giving him a quick kiss before she sat down between Alec and Jace. Alec greeted her happily and Clary then looked at him, curious. “What’s up, Alec? You look terrible.”

“Gee, thanks,” said Alec and rolled his eyes. “It’s all thanks to you, Fray. Your Immortality rune has been giving me quite a headache for the past few weeks, do you know that?” he then asked and Clary perked up, her playfulness gone. All of the colour drained from her face when she realised that Alec had said that out loud, in front of Jace and she then looked back to her boyfriend, who had his eyebrow arched and was smirking.

“I know all about your new rune, Clary. You should’ve told me sooner,” he said, but Clary relaxed when she couldn’t see any signs of anger in Jace’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” said the red-head. “But if it makes you feel better, Alec is the only one who knows.”

“And Magnus,” said Alec.

“Magnus?”

“Yeah, I told him,” said Alec. “We had a talk about it and he doesn’t want me to get it, but,” he said and dragged his tongue over his lower lip. “I’ve already made the decision, I’m going through with it. I can’t bear to leave him one day,” he then said quietly and Clary nodded. She was the only one who didn’t pass judgement about his decision, because she understood. If she was in a similar position, she’d go for it as well.

“Does Magnus know yet that you've made up your mind?”

“No, he doesn’t know that yet,” said Alec and took in a deep breath. “But I’ll let him know before we go through it,” he then said, because Magnus still deserved to know, even though he wasn’t on his side.

“Good, then it’s a deal,” said Clary and Alec nodded.


	5. If this is something you want, you have my full support

_There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief._

**\- Aeschylus**

* * *

“Magnus, what are you saying?” asked Catarina carefully, trying to understand what her friend had just told her. “An immortal Shadowhunter?” she then asked and came closer to Magnus, who was sitting on the couch and he just shrugged, but then nodded. Her eyes widened and she pressed a hand against her mouth. “But this defines all laws,” said Catarina. “If this gets out, there will be disruptions among the Downworld as well and-”

“I don’t care about others, Catarina. All that I care now about is Alexander,” said the heartbroken warlock and emptied his glass of whiskey. Lately, his habit of drinking had gotten worse again, but somehow, he needed something to numb those troubled thoughts. “He’s seriously thinking about it,” said Magnus softly and then placed hands together in his lap, placing the glass back down onto the coffee table and he sighed again. “I don’t think that he’s fully aware of the consequences his actions would have if he actually went through with it,” he then added, a bit more silent then, because he didn’t want Max to overhear their conversation. The little boy was in his room and was playing with his toys, still silent, but was lately starting to come out of his shell again more. He was still heartbroken, but he couldn’t change anything.

“I know it would make you happy,” whispered Catarina and sat down next to Magnus, who looked at her and let out a forced laugh. “I’ve seen you lose so many people in your life before, Magnus. And each time, it gets more difficult to watch you crumble apart. I know, because it’s the same for me. You deserve to be finally happy. I know that I would be happy if I came across such a chance and I wouldn’t complain about it at all.”

“It’s not that simple, Cat,” whispered Magnus and poured himself another glass of drink, Catarina frowning. It’s been a while since Magnus was drinking so heavily and carelessly; probably the first time after he and Camille had broken up for good.

“I’m pretty sure he knows all of the risks that this can bring,” said Catarina and gave Magnus a warm smile.

“It’s not even that,” said Magnus and quickly emptied the glass again and then started playing with the empty glass, sliding it from one to the other hand across the coffee table. “Sure, he feels like this now, but what if he regrets it in the end,” muttered the warlock and his heart fell to the pit of his stomach. “With time, what if he gets tired of me? All of the others had and-”

“Okay, now you’re just talking bullshit. You’re drunk,” said Catarina and took the bottle from Magnus’ grasp, taking the glass as well and rolled her eyes. “Do you even know what you’re saying? Alec Lightwood getting tired of you? Please, the man is crazy about you,” she said and made a short pause, pain in Magnus’ eyes still present.

“The others were crazy about me at first as well,” said Magnus bitterly. “And then they just… stopped caring. I scared them away.”

“He’s different and you know that,” said Catarina differently. “This is just the alcohol talking, so please, get a grip Magnus,” pleaded the woman and Magnus just scoffed. “You know, you’re just looking for useless excuses,” scolded him Catarina and shook her head. “I know you, we’ve been friends long enough. I know that you want him to get that rune, but you just don’t want to be seen as selfish.”

Magnus’ silence said enough and he just bowed his head down. Yes, it was the truth; he wanted that Alec would get that rune. All of that talk about fearing that Alec might get tired of him were just excuses, he knew that Alec would never get tired of him. The Shadowhunter wasn’t so shallow. Besides, they had a child together, so of course Magnus knew that this relationship was different from all of the others before; he wasn’t stupid. However, he didn’t want to admit it out loud, because he knew that then Alec might really go through with it. But it was true that Alec might regret his decision about being immortal. If he would say his wish out loud, Alec would surely listen to it. If he would later on regret his decision about getting the rune, which was permanent, Magnus was afraid that Alec would blame him for being so selfish.

“See? I was right,” said Catarina and slowly scooted a bit closer to her friend, placing a hand on top of Magnus’ back, drawing uneven patterns against it and he frowned when she felt Magnus stiffing under her touch. “Tell him,” she said. “I know that the thought of him leaving you with Max alone is killing you. I can see it, even before you knew about the existence of that rune, I could see it.” Catarina then clicked with her tongue when Magnus just kept looking down, his face twisted in pain and her heart ached for her best friend. “After adopting Max you’ve changed. And I don’t mean just different after becoming a father. No, you became much more conscious about how fast the time is passing, you’ve told me this yourself.”

Magnus let out a hitched breath and slowly nodded because it was true. After they adopted little Max, Magnus was slowly starting to fear the future. If it was just him and Alec he would probably deal with losing him a bit better, but probably not. However, now he had to think about little Max as well, who was heartbroken after hearing the news that one day Alec was going to be gone, while the two of them would be forced to live forever without Alec around. Many people were gone from Magnus’ life, but he was able to ease the pain of their lost by remembering all of the good times and fun moments they had shared together. However, he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to breathe if he would try to ease the pain of Alec being gone in that way. All of those happy memories would make it worse; the pain of the grief would probably lead him to insanity.

“I want him to get that rune,” whispered Magnus, his voice breaking and he swallowed back a sob by pressing a hand against his lips. God, he felt so selfish for saying that out loud and his heart felt as if it was breaking. He didn’t know what to do; lately he had been thinking only about Alec dying and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He wanted happiness to return back to his life; he was so sick of darkness. He wished that they didn’t have to talk about it; it was easier to block out those negative thoughts, but that was kind of impossible and pathetic as well. The longer that he’d spend supressing that, the greater the pain would be later on. “I just,” stammered Magnus and hugged his own shaking body. “I can’t imagine a future without him. I really can’t.”

“I know, Magnus, I know,” whispered his friend and wrapped an arm around Magnus’ shoulder, pulling him closer and Magnus rested his head against Catarina’s shoulder, letting out a small sigh and when he straightened himself up he quickly started wiping the tears away. “So tell him that, Magnus. He deserves to know. You can’t push these feelings down forever, you need to deal with them. If you don’t deal with this now, it’ll kill you. Trust me.”

Magnus bowed his head and sighed; Catarina was right. Who was he even kidding, of course he wanted Alec to get that rune. Talking about this with Catarina helped him realise that Magnus was thinking too much about himself and he didn’t consider Alec’s wishes as well; he should show him his support if that was something that Alec truly wanted. “You’re right, Cat,” said Magnus with a small voice and was determined to let Alec know just how he truly felt about the entire thing, completely oblivious of the person standing behind the door, listening to their full conversation. The person behind the door was Max, pressing a palm against his mouth in order to not get caught by Magnus and Catarina.

When Max grew bored of playing with his toys, he walked towards the living room when Papa and his friend were. Max liked Catarina a lot, because she was a fun person to hang out with. Slumber parties over at her place were the most fun, so he was looking forward to spending some time with her. However, when he came to the door and overheard the conversation of Magnus and Catarina, he didn’t go inside of the room quite yet. He heard Papa and Catarina talking something about a rune and even though Max was still young and didn’t know a lot about meaning of the runes, he knew that it had to be something serious. All that he knew was that daddy had runes and they helped him to have some superpowers as well.

Max gripped the door frame when he heard Magnus crying again and he had to cover his ears, because he couldn’t handle to hear the man cry. For the past week, Magnus was doing that a lot and to the little boy, that was beyond heart-breaking. He wanted to help his Papa, but he didn’t know how to. Plus, he was in the same state as well; he was crying himself to sleep almost every night and even though he tried to be quiet, Magnus could still hear him, which caused his heart to ache even more. Max pressed his lips together and just as he was about to tiptoe back to his room, Alec suddenly appeared behind him, his eyes full with worry when he saw that his son was close to crying again. The fact that he could hear Magnus’ soft sniffles coming from the living room at the same time didn’t help at all.

Alec had been out for the day, because he had another mission. Demons had been attacking at the centre of the city and he, Izzy and Jace had to take care of them. It was a pretty simple mission; they were able to get rid of the demons fairy easily and after that, Alec walked Izzy and Jace back to the Institute. While they were walking back, Alec decided to finally tell his plans to Isabelle as well; he needed her to know and he wanted to know her opinion. Izzy was at first surprised to hear that Clary was able to draw such a powerful rune, but at the same time, she supported Alec’s decision. She knew how much it meant for Alec to be with Magnus forever and she was happy that he finally found a way. He had been searching for it years ago, but not that it finally happened, she was really glad about that. She didn’t push him too much, but she supported his decision. Jace also seemed to come around and he finally could see it where Alec was coming from. Jace did support him before, but he didn’t quite understand or agree with him. However, he came around and Alec couldn’t be happier about that.

“Max?” asked Alec softly and the little boy then turned around, his eyes full with tears and he quickly ran to his father, raising up his arms to be picked up. With a heavy heart, Alec picked up the boy and gave him a tight hug, pressed a kiss on top of his hair and he then chuckled, wiping the tears away when they started running down his cheeks. It was only after that that Alec heard that Magnus was talking to someone and he quite quickly recognised the voice of the guest; Catarina Loss. “It seems that Papa is having a visitor over, huh?” asked Alec, trying to keep his voice cheerful, Max slowly nodding, clutching onto his father’s shirt with his little palms. “It seems that they’re busy, let’s not disturb them,” said the Shadowhunter then and carried the boy to his bedroom, placing him down and he smiled when he saw that Max’s room was a mess again. Usually, he would complain about it and ask Max to clean it, but not that time. He was happy to see it in that state, toys everywhere. It meant that Max finally started playing with his toys again. “Did you have a good time on your own, Max?” he then asked and his son just shrugged.

“Yes,” said Max with a small voice and then looked up at his father. “Daddy, did aunt Clary draw a new rune?” asked the little warlock curiously. He overheard Magnus and Catarina talking about it earlier, so he was curious about it. He knew that Clary had the ability to draw new runes, so he was always interested when she showed him a new one.

Alec stiffened when he heard Max’s question and he let out a nervous chuckle. How did Max know about Clay’s new rune? He and Magnus were always careful not to discuss about it in front of Max. “Yes, she drew a new rune,” said Alec and Max’s eyes lit up with curiosity. He climbed on top of the bed and perked up, wanting to hear all about it. For the moment, he was able to forget the worries about the future and he even smiled.

“Oh,” said Max excitedly. “What can it do, daddy, what can it do?” he then asked and Alec sat down next to him with a smile on his face. He placed a palm against Max’s back and shrugged.

“It’s a very complicated rune, Max,” said Alec, trying his best to not give away too much. Magnus needed to be present there as well if they wanted to truly discuss about the rune. “How do you know that she drew a new rune?” he then asked softly and Max looked uneasy again.

“Papa and aunt Cat were talking about it,” said the little boy. “Papa sounded very worried about it,” he then added and Alec felt the corners of his mouth twitching. So, Magnus was talking about this to other people so freely? But then again, he did tell Isabelle and Jace about it as well. “Cat asked Papa about it. She asked him if he wants daddy to have the rune.”

“She did?” asked Alec, curious now as well and he felt his heart beating faster as well. “What did Magnus say, Max?”

“Papa started crying,” said Max and looked down; he wasn’t too fond of remembering Magnus crying. It made his tummy and chest feel weird, almost painful. Alec felt his heart dropping again when he heard that and a sad smile spread across his face; Magnus still didn’t change his opinion about it, did he? “He said that he wants daddy to have it, but he’s scared,” said Max in the end and Alec’s eyes widened.

“R-really?” stammered the man and Max quickly nodded.

“Why is Papa scared of the rune, daddy? What can it do?” asked Max.

“It can,” started Alec, but then stopped. He didn’t know what to say; he was happy to hear that Magnus wanted him to get the rune, it made him unbelievably happy. Yet, it made him frustrated; Magnus should just tell him! Not that it would make a difference, since he had already made up his mind. Hearing that Magnus was afraid was reasonable, but it broke his heart when he heard that Magnus was crying again. He then looked down at his son again and forced a smile. “Well, the rune would change me,” he started and then stopped talking again.

“How, daddy?” asked Max and blinked a few times. “Would you be able to grow horns like me?” asked the boy next and giggled. It would explain why Papa was so afraid of the rune; in the boy’s opinion it would make perfect sense. Plus, he would be really happy if that was the case.

“What?” asked Alec and chuckled, shaking his head. “It would change me in another way,” said Alec and then stopped laughing. “You know the talk we had the other day? When you asked if we’ll be together forever?” asked Alec and Max’s eyes grew huge. He shook his head, placed his palms back on top of his ears and started humming himself a tune of a song, not wanting to talk about it again. Alec quickly picked up the boy when he saw that he was having a breakdown again and he kissed the top of his head, removing his hands from his ears. “Shh, calm down.”

“No.”

“Listed to Alexander, Blueberry,” suddenly said the voice from the door and Alec quickly looked into that direction when the door opened, Magnus stepping inside. He had been standing there for a while now, listening to Alec’s and Max’s conversation. He overheard everything. Magnus knew that Alec came back home and after that, Catarina returned back to her place almost immediately. When the warlock heard what the two of them were talking about, he was shocked. Before, he didn’t know that Max was there listening to him and Catarina. However, all that talking with Catarina and listening to the two made him realise one thing; he didn’t want to lose _this_. So, in the end, he decided that it was finally okay for him to be selfish for once in his life and say what he truly wished. Plus, as Alec had said it before, it was his life, so if getting that rune would make him happy, then he should do it. Magnus felt bad for acting like that; he shouldn’t stand in way of Alec’s happiness.

“Magnus?” asked Alec.

“I don’t wanna,” complained Max and wanted to get away from them.

“The rune would make Alec immortal,” said Magnus simply and Max, who didn’t hear that word, didn’t stop struggling. Alec was quite surprised when Magnus said that so casually. “Max, listen to me,” said Magnus again and came closer to the two, his warm palm against Max’s cheek finally calming down the boy. “With the help of that rune, daddy would be able to be with us forever. And when I say _forever_ , I mean that,” said Magnus and Alec frowned, the frown between his eyebrows only deepening when Magnus had a smile on his face. He didn’t get it; what was going on?

“What?” asked Max and then looked at Magnus, who wore a tiny smile on his face and then he looked back up at Alec, who nodded, but was still utterly confused. Max’s heart fluttered with joy when he heard that and he just threw his hands around Alec’s neck, giving his father a tight hug and he was so happy that he couldn’t help himself. Overwhelmed with emotions, the boy started bawling, but since they were tears of happiness, Magnus just smiled and Alec just arched an eyebrow.

“What’s going on?” asked Alec, wrapping his arms around Max, rocking him back and forth. He was glad to see his son so happy, but he was still too confused.

“Catarina made me realise some things,” said Magnus softly and bit onto his lower lip, scooting himself closer to his lover and son. “She helped me realise that I’m allowed to be selfish for once as well,” said the warlock and let out a hitched breath, his hand slowing reaching out to Alec’s and he linked their fingers. “I’m tired of losing people in my life, Alexander,” said Magnus. “So, my answer is yes… If you’re really sure you want this, then do it. I want you around for a very long time, Alexander. I just,” he stammered and let out a small sigh. “I don’t want to be left alone again, so if you wish the same, then go through it,” he said. “Besides, this is _your_ life, not mine; so I don’t get to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do with it. You’re doing it for yourself as well, not only for me and Max.”

“I,” stammered Alec and bit into his lower lip. He then placed a hand behind Magnus’ neck and crushed their lips together, kissing him desperately and somewhere in the middle of the kiss started laughing, his chest melting with happiness. “I’ve already made my decision, yes,” started Alec. “I didn’t know how to tell you that I’ve decided to go through it, so I’m so happy to see that you’ve decided to change your mind,” said Alec happily and Max then pulled back a little, overjoyed to hear that. “By the Angel, I love you so much, Magnus,” breathed out Alec and Magnus just grinned.

“I love you too, Alexander,” said Magnus against Alec’s lips and kissed him again, Max looking up with a huge smile on his lips. “But you better not get tired of me,” said Magnus playfully and Alec frowned again. “Because I promise that I’ll make your eternity miserable if you change your mind,” he then warned him, but still wore a grin on his face. Alec, who finally saw that Magnus was just teasing again, just nodded and laughed.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” whispered Alec and looked down at Max, who was just staring up at his parents and he sighed happily. Finally, he was happy again and he started giggling when both Magnus and Alec hugged him again and after a long time, their apartment was full with laughter again.


	6. The day has finally come

_Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness._

**\- Desmond Tutu**

* * *

 

“So, how are we doing this?” asked Alec nervously and looked around the room. The day of Clary drawing the rune on him had finally came and he couldn’t help but to feel nervous. Besides Clary, Jace and Isabelle also came over. Jace was there just in case if something happened to his rune, while Isabelle came over because she wanted to be there to offer support to her big brother. Max, on the other hand, was over at Maryse’s and Robert’s. They made sure to let the little boy know that the rune was their secret; even though Alec didn’t want to keep secrets from his parents, he needed to keep the Immortality rune hidden from them. They changed a lot during the years, but they were still strict when it came to rules and laws; he didn’t want to risk them telling the Clave about the rune. Yet.

“Well, first I’ll need you to sit down,” said Clary and signed Alec to sit down next to her, so he just slowly came closer to the red-head and sat down onto the couch. His eyes found Magnus’, who was standing near them and Magnus took that as a sign for him to come closer. He was nervous as well; his face pale and his heart was hammering against his ribcage. A part of him still didn’t want Alec to go through it, but for entirely different reason; he was afraid what might happen to Alec. The rune wasn’t tested yet, no one even knew if it would work properly or not. So, of course he was afraid.

“Maybe it’ll be a good idea if I sat down as well,” mumbled Jace and then sat to the other side of the couch, while Isabelle walked to him and then gave Alec a tiny smile of encouragement.

“Don’t look so nervous, big brother,” said Isabelle, trying to sound composed, but her trembling voice wasn’t fooling anyone; she was nervous as well. “I’m sure everything will work out great,” she then said and winked to Clary, who just gave her a weak smile back and took in a deep breath.

Clary’s hands were shaking, she was nervous. She knew that she needed to make everything perfect, because this wouldn’t only affect Alec, but probably Jace as well. The red-head nervously chewed on her lower lip and then took in a deep breath, looking up at Alec, who was just as pale as her, if not even more. But at the same time, the man was excited; it was an odd feeling to be honest. “Where should I draw the rune, Alec?” asked Clary then and took out her _stele._

“Oh, um, I haven’t thought about that,” said Alec awkwardly and started thinking. The rune itself wasn’t all that large, so he would be able to hide it fairly easily. However, because he didn’t know what kind of an affect it would have on his body, he needed to place it somewhere far away from the rest of his runes, especially his _parabatai_ rune. In the end, his right leg made the most sense in his opinion so he pointed to his right leg. “On my right leg,” he blurted out and Clary nodded.

“I never thought I would say this, but lose the pants Alec,” said Clary playfully and Alec rolled his eyes.

“Very funny,” said Alec dryly and then looked up when he heard a snort coming from Magnus. He arched an eyebrow and gave him a disapproving look. “You found this funny?” asked Alec and shook his head in disbelief. “I thought that we agreed on the fact that Clary isn’t funny,” he then said playfully, only teasing of course and Clary gave him an unamused look.

“You know, if you keep messing around, I don’t have to draw the rune,” said Clary as her comeback and Alec just burst into laughter when he saw how red Clary had gotten in face.

“Don’t mind him, Biscuit,” said Magnus and shook his head. “He doesn’t mean it, do you Alexander?” asked Magnus then and Alec just nodded.

“Can’t you just get on with it?” asked Jace, who was running out of patience and Clary just nodded. She was kind of stalling it, because she was nervous, but then again, Alec was doing the same. Alec quickly disappeared into the bedroom and changed into shorts, sitting down next to Clary again and then nodded.

“Okay, let’s do it,” said Alec and the red-head nodded.

“Okay. Ready?” asked Clary and Alec only nodded, the others not saying a word, because they wanted Clary to focus. She then took in a deep breath and brought her _stele_ closer to Alec’s leg and cleared her throat. Her hands started shaking again and Alec almost made a comment about it, wanting to tell Clary that she needed to get a grip, but in the end he stayed quiet. It wouldn’t be fair to tell her that; she was risking a lot herself as well by drawing the rune, so he kept his big mouth shut and gave her an encouraging smile when she looked up at him.

Magnus tensed up when Clary finally started drawing the rune and he his jaw clenched, his hands forming fists. He wanted to move closer to Alec, but he forced himself to keep distance from the other two. Magnus’ heart started beating faster when Alec let out a small moan of discomfort and Magnus’ eyes widened with fear, his eyes finding Alec’s. Magnus could tell that the other one was in pain, but he did nothing; he just stood there and waited.

At first, Alec couldn’t feel anything. Sure, it stung a bit, but every rune stung when you’d draw it. However, that soon changed and he let out a loud moan of discomfort when the pain became a lot stronger. Because he didn’t want to move too much, his fingers gripped the couch, his knuckles going white to the bone because he was gripping on so tightly and he bit down onto his lower lip, hard, which caused his lower lip to bleed. At some point, he had to close his eyes because the entire room started to spin around in front of his eyes and he threw his head back when a new wave of pain shot through his body. His face was pale and he felt physically sick from the pain. He considered himself to be pretty used to the pain, but the pain that he was experiencing at that time was worse than any pain he experienced prior to that.

Clary’s heart was beating fast. She could tell that Alec was in a great pain, but she couldn’t stop in the middle of the rune. Even though it felt as if she was drawing the rune for hours, only a few seconds had passed and her hand started shaking again when she looked over to the other side of the couch and saw Jace. Jace was curled up into a ball and was holding his _parabatai_ rune, his face twisted in pain. Isabelle was worried, she grabbed Jace’s hand, trying to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but Jace couldn’t hear her. At some point, the pain became so big that he let out a loud scream and started begging Clary to stop.

“Clary, stop it!” pleaded Jace, not really meaning his words, but he would give anything for the pain to stop. His breathing was laboured, hair stuck to his forehead from perspiration and Magnus almost had a heart attack when he saw Alec. “Alec!” screamed Jace and Alec’s eyes widened when he suddenly felt a piercing pain going through his _parabatai_ rune, screaming out Jace’s name.

Alec wrapped his arms around his stomach and tried to keep still as he leaned forward, tears streaming down his face. Clary nervous grabbed his leg, trying to keep his leg still and she just tried to ignore Alec’s and Jace’s screams, so that she could keep focused. “A-Alec, try to keep still,” said Clary and pressed her lips together. “I’ll be done soon, I promise, but I need you to stay still,” she then said and Alec nodded.

“I-I’ll try,” said Alec and a loud sob left his mouth. “Magnus… ah-”

It killed Magnus to see Alec like this; he was in pain and there was nothing that he was able to do that would ease that pain. Alec’s sob broke his heart, his heart twisting and clenching in pain as well. It was heart-breaking to see such a strong man being reduced to such mess by the pain. Getting a rune shouldn’t be this painful, right? Magnus worried, maybe something was wrong. He glanced over at Clary, who seemed to have everything under control and he swallowed thickly. When Alec called out his name was when Magnus broke as well and he went to him, fell down onto his knees and grabbed Alec’s hand, leaning up and he pressed their foreheads together.

“It’ll be over soon, I promise” said Magnus, his voice breaking and he pressed a kiss on top of Alec’s head. “You’re doing so well, my Alexander. Try to endure the pain for a little while, it’ll be worth it in the end. I promise,” said the warlock against the other’s lips and kissed his softly, his eyes widening when Alec’s grip around his hand tightened and Magnus placed a hand behind Alec’s neck, holding his close.

“Clary, hurry up!” yelled Isabelle, who was still at Jace’s side. The blond was gripping onto her hand and tried to even out his breathing, his back arching when pain pierced through his body again and Jace looked up to see how his _parabatai_ was doing.

“I’m trying!” yelled Clary back, nervous as hell and she tried not to look over at Jace. Her grip around her _stele_ got tighter and she then looked towards Alec, who was now gripping onto Magnus and she let out a hitched breath. “Just a little bit, okay?” she asked and Alec just nodded. Since it was a bit more of a complicated rune, it needed a bit longer for Clary to draw it. Plus, she was drawing slow and careful, wanting everything to be perfect.

“Yeah,” breathed out Alec, his fingers digging deep into Magnus’ shoulders and he just closed his eyes tightly, letting out another yelp and then Clary was finally done. The rune was drawn just a bit above Alec’s knee and it looked stunning. It was nothing like Magnus saw before, it was really beautiful; he liked it even more than Alec’s Deflect rune. The rune was bright red colour and it still hurt a lot, Alec just sitting still and he gripped onto Magnus’ hand when the other one handed him his hand.

For the past few moments, all that could be heard in the room was silence; neither of them knew what to do or say. The pain was finally gone on Jace’s side, but he felt different. He could still feel Alec through their bond, but something was odd. It felt as if Alec was in a different dimension, if that made sense; the bond was very faint, but it was still there, so the blond was glad about that. Alec, on the other hand, was still in excruciating pain. He let go off of Magnus and collapsed back against the sofa, his back arched back and even though the rune was on his leg, his entire body was literally on fire. He gasped out to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth and the last thing that he heard before blacking out was Izzy’s loud cry of his name.

Magnus felt sick when Alec suddenly stopped moving, his body completely limp and without hesitation, he went to Alexander. Isabelle cried out Alec’s name and pressed a hand against her mouth, Clary just as shocked. “Oh no, what did I do?” asked Clary, her lower lip trembling, fearing of the worst. “Is he alive?” she then asked and looked at Magnus, who was now leaning over his lover.

Magnus frantically grabbed Alec’s wrist and when he couldn’t feel Alec’s heartbeat there, he pressed two fingers against his neck and froze. What felt like minutes, were only a few seconds and then he felt weight lifting off of his shoulders when he could finally sense Alec’s heartbeat. “He’s alive,” breathed out Magnus. “Just unconscious,” he then whispered and sat back down against the floor.

“Thank God,” whispered Clary.

“He’s gonna be okay,” stammered Jace, still holding his _parabatai_ rune. “I can feel him,” he then said and straightened himself up and fixed his hair. “Our bond is weaker than usual and something feels _odd_ ,” said Jace and ran fingers through his messy hair. “It’s like he’s somewhere else,” he then added and Magnus’ eyes widened.

“His soul left his body?” asked Isabelle slowly.

“I don’t know,” said Jace and shrugged. “But it feels like that.”

Horror filled Magnus’ heart when he heard that and he then leaned over Alec again, placing his hand gently against Alec’s cheek and his thumb gently caressed the other’s cheek. With his other hand, he gripped the fabric of Alec’s shirt. Then suddenly, Alec arched his back again, opened his eyes wide and let out a sigh, as if he was struggling to breathe. Magnus placed a hand under Alec’s head and slowly lifted it up a bit, Alec’s eyes terribly unfocused and the younger one needed a few moments to finally realise where he was and what was going on.

“Alexander,” said Magnus, his hand gripping onto Alec’s almost painfully, but the younger one couldn’t register the pain and when he was about to get up into sitting position, Magnus forced him to say down in lying position. Alec looked even paler than before and Magnus couldn’t risk Alec blacking out again. The warlock didn’t know what exactly was wrong and if Alec was still experiencing pain, but he was doing what felt right. “How are you feeling, darling?” asked Magnus then, placing a hand against Alec’s hot cheek and then leaned down to press a kiss on top of Alec’s forehead, his entire body shaking with worry, because Alec felt really warm to the touch. He probably had a fever.

“Tired,” whispered Alec, his throat feeling dry all of the sudden and he then lifted his head up, looking over at Jace, who was sitting closer to him now and the blond sent him a nervous smile. “Jace, are you okay? I could feel your pain through our bond and-”

“I think it was the other way around, buddy,” said Jace slowly; he was in pain, but he was experiencing the pain that Alec was going through. “I felt your pain and then probably you felt the pain I was experiencing through you,” muttered Jace and furrow between his eyebrows grew. It was complicated, but that was the only way that Jace was able to describe it. “Can you feel me through our bond?” he then asked with a small voice and Alec pressed a palm against the _parabatai_ rune, closed his eyes and slowly nodded.

Alec could feel Jace; the other one was restless, worried and nervous. Also, there was that fear of abandonment again. But at the same, he could tell that Jace was happy for him. To him, the bond seemed stronger as ever and he then looked over Jace, who was looking even more nervous than before and he just nodded again. “Yeah, I can feel you. Nothing changed on my part,” said Alec softly and then his eyes widened when he saw that Jace looked away. “What’s wrong?” asked Alec and almost stood up, but Magnus held him down again.

“Nothing, I think,” said Jace with a small voice and shrugged. “It’s just _different_ for me than it was before. I can still feel you, but it feels like our bond is clouded somehow; as if you weren’t really present in your body. I,” stammered Jace. “I don’t know how to explain it, but it just feels different for me. But the bond is still there, so that’s the most important part,” said the blond and managed a smile at the end.

“Give it a few days,” said Magnus softly, who wasn’t too worried about what he heard. “Alec’s body went through a major change, it seems that his body is still getting used to the rune,” muttered the warlock, because Alec was still burning up and he then looked over to the blond. “Probably your _parabatai_ bond is going through the same thing as well.” Magnus’ words were able to ease his worries and he nodded. He was kind of worried about what Jace told him, but at the same time, changes in their bond like that were probably expectable.

“Well, that’s good to hear,” said Isabelle and then went over to Alec and placed her hand on top of her brother’s forehead, removing some of the hair that were stuck to his forehead and gave him a little smile. Her hand travelled down to Alec’s cheek and even though his entire body felt as if it was weighting a tone, Alec brought his hand and placed it over Isabelle’s hand. That made his sister’s smile grow wider and she gave him a little wink. “You’re going to be okay,” she then muttered and even though she worried about how warm Alec felt, Magnus did say that Alec’s body was probably trying to adjust itself to the new rune. “In the morning, you’ll feel like a new man,” she then joked, but meant it as well and Alec slowly nodded.

“Yeah,” said Alec. “I mean I’m feeling a lot better than before,” he then went on by saying and looked past Isabelle, his eyes locating Clary, who was now over at Jace and a smile tugged at his lips. “Thank you so much for this. I know that by doing this you’re risking a lot as well, so I’m really thankful,” said Alec and Clary smiled back. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you back.”

“No need to thank me,” said Clary. “I could tell how much it meant to you, so I’m glad I was able to make this come true for you,” then the red-head added. “And don’t worry about other things at the moment,” said Clary, knowing what he meant; before he agreed to the rune, they had a serious talk about all of the consequences that this might have on everyone. If the Clave found out about the rune, it wouldn’t just Alec who would be in trouble; but Clary as well and probably everyone involved.

“How will we know if the rune is really working?” blurted out Jace.

“Are you really doubting into my skills?” asked Clary playfully, but then frowned as well. There was no way to tell if the rune would really work. She then looked over at Isabelle, who was wondering the same and Alec let out a hitched breath when he looked up at Magnus. Jace’s words made him worried again, but the smile on Magnus’ lips calmed him down. The warlock wasn’t worried about that; the rune was probably going to work. Clary’s runes always worked, so why would this be any different?

“I guess only time will tell,” said Magnus and shrugged.

“Yeah,” whispered Alec, a tiny smile appearing on his lips as well.

By the time that Clary, Isabelle and Jace left the apartment it was somewhere in the late hours of the afternoon and Magnus knew that Max should be home at any minute now. Alec was still on the couch, but regained enough strength to be properly sitting up. Magnus sent him a smile across his room and then climbed onto the couch, scooting close to him, his eyes admiring the rune on Alec’s leg. He ran his fingers over it and Alec just flinched; the place where Clary drew the rune still felt sore to the touch, but he allowed Magnus to admire the rune.

“It’s beautiful,” said Magnus and Alec nodded. “It suits you well,” he then added, Alec rolling his eyes and he then rested his head on top of Magnus’ shoulder, closing his eyes for a split moment. Magnus’s heart fluttered with joy the more that he continued to observe the rune and he stopped touching it when he noticed that his touches must’ve felt uncomfortable to Alec. “So this is it, huh?” he then blurted out loud and Alec slowly opened his eyes. “You’re really mine forever now,” commented Magnus and his eyes were shining. Alec didn’t know if it were the tears or happiness that he saw, but he just nodded and slowly lifted his head.

“Yeah,” whispered Alec and kissed Magnus softly. “I’m so happy,” he then breathed out when he pulled back and sighed happily, his eyes going to his new rune again and his smile grew bigger. “I can’t wait to show it to Max,” he then added and Magnus nodded.

“Yes, he’s going to be overjoyed,” commented Magnus and then pressed a hand back against Alec’s forehead. The Shadowhunter still felt a bit warm to the touch, but the fever was slowly disappearing and Alec’s complexion was looking much better than it did before. Alec chuckled when he saw that Magnus was checking up on his temperature again, but he didn’t complain. It felt good being pampered by Magnus like that. “How are you feeling?” asked Magnus.

“Tired,” said Alec and made a short pause. “And my entire body still feels sore, but most of all, I feel happy,” whispered Alec then.

“Me too, I’m so happy Alexander,” said Magnus, no longer hiding his happiness about Alec’s decision of getting the rune. He then placed his hand behind Alec’s neck and pressed their lips together a few times. Their moment was interrupted when there a knock at the door and Alec quickly pushed Magnus away.

“My parents, crap!” said Alec, who was in a hurry to get away. He knew that he needed to get away if he didn’t want his parents to see him in that condition; they were going to be suspicious if they saw him in that state. Plus, the rune was out on a display and he quickly tried to get up, but a pain pierced through his leg when he tried to stand onto it. If Magnus wouldn’t be there to catch him, Alec would probably end up on the floor.

“Calm down, Alexander,” said Magnus and wrapped an arm around Alec’s waist. “Let me help you get to the bedroom,” he then added and helped Alec to the bedroom. After he was sure that Alec was comfortable, only then he went to the door and opened it up for Robert and Maryse, little Max standing behind them and he happily waved to Magnus. Luckily, Alec’s parents were in a hurry to get back to the Institute, so Magnus didn’t have to explain where Alec was. Max happily skipped over into the living room and started searching for Alec.

“Papa, where’s daddy?” asked little Max. “Are you playing hide and seek?” asked the little boy and then puffed his cheeks. “Daddy, come out, I wanna paly too!”

“Daddy’s resting,” said Magnus and got down onto his knees, so that he was closer to Max and he placed a hand on top of the other’s head. “You know about the rune we were talking the other day that daddy was going to get?” asked Magnus and Max quickly nodded; how could he forget something like that? “Well, today the decision was finally made and aunt Clary finally drew that rune onto Alec.”

“Really?” asked Max and his eyes were wide open, his heart fluttering with happiness and he barely restrained back a squeal of happiness. “So daddy is like me and you now, Papa?” asked Max and beamed up at Magnus.

“Yeah, in a way,” replied Magnus back and his eyes welled up when he saw how happy Max was to hear the news. “Now, he’ll be able to be with me and you forever,” added the warlock then and Max clapped with his hands, jumping up and down. He then looked towards his parent’s bedroom, wanting to go see Alec.

“Can I go see daddy?” politely asked Max and Magnus nodded.

“Yes,” said Magnus. “Of course. Just be careful, because he’s-”

Before Magnus could finish his sentence, Max ran into the bedroom, climbed on top of the bed and threw himself around Alec’s neck. Overjoyed to hear the news, Max couldn’t contain his happiness anymore and he just held Alec close as he let out a little giggle, which was followed by a sniffle and Alec relaxed when he noticed the tears of happiness and relief running down his son’s cheeks. Surprised at first, Alec let out a whimper of surprise when Max was suddenly sitting on top of him, but he quickly collected himself and he smiled again.

“What’s up, Max?” asked Alec, even though he knew that Magnus probably told him about the rune already.

“Papa told me that aunt Clary drew that rune,” said Max happily and his eyes lit up, wanting to see it. “Can I see it, daddy, can I?” he then asked and Alec just nodded. Max slowly climbed off of Alec when he started pulling down the bedcovers and Max’s eyes widened when he saw the bright red rune just above Alec’s knee.

“Woah,” said Max. “It’s so cool,” he then added and Alec chuckled.

“Right?”

“Thank you, daddy,” muttered Max and then hugged Alec again.

Max’s words made Alec choke up and he just nodded. He slowly got up into sitting position, allowing Max to hug him properly, wrapping his own arms around his son, tears of happiness welling up in his eyes as well when Max hugged him again. When he looked over to the door, he saw Magnus standing there, a hand pressed against his mouth as he was holding back the tears. However, the tears fell when Alec signed him to come closer and pulled him into a family hug.

Now, after centuries of losing people, Magnus for the first time in his life knew that he had something permanent. His family; Max and Alec were there to stay with him, never to leave him. He always wished for family and now his wishes finally came true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, thank you so much for all of the support <3 
> 
> I do have a question though, because I am debating whether to add a few more chapters to this or not. A part of me thinks this is a good place to end it; at first I only wanted to write about Alec's inner struggle of getting the rune and the consequences this decision would have on other people. However, writing it just up to this also seems a bit unfinished, so I don't know... what do you guys think? ^^;
> 
> (Also, how amazing was the last episode?! I LOVED seeing Magnus dance, I hope we get to see more of that ;) )


	7. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your comments, they helped me with making the decision of continuing this. As I mentioned previously in the comments, I'll make this story a bit longer than I first intended it to be. It'll have around 14 chapters.   
> And just a bit of a heads up, it'll get a bit more complex and dark in the future ^^;  
> Also, I want to thank to all of the people who keep supporting this, you're the best, xxo <3

_To exist is to change; to change is to mature;_

_To mature is to create oneself endlessly._

**\- Henri Bergson**

* * *

 

“How are you feeling?” asked Isabelle and Alec shrugged. It’s been a week since Clary drew that rune and he didn’t know how he felt. In some ways, he felt as if not much had changed. He was still a Shadowhunter, but something felt different. He didn’t know how to explain it, but he felt more powerful. Alec couldn’t test that in theory, because Magnus was still making him stay at home, since he ended up fainting one more time after that time and the warlock was keeping an eye on him no matter where he went. Alec appreciated the concern, but he also wanted to quench his thirst for slaying demons. He was currently over at the Institute, because he and Jace had plans to start training together again.

“I’m feeling good,” said Alec and smiled when he saw concern written all over Isabelle’s face and he gently patted his sister’s back. “Magnus is being a bit overprotective and if he goes somewhere he makes Max watch over me,” he then added with a chuckle and Isabelle grinned, knowing how Magnus could get when it came to Alec’s safety and well-being.

“Well, as long as you say you’re feeling well, then that’s all that matters to me,” said Isabelle happily and Alec nodded, looking around the room. He was told that his parents came from Idris, so he still worried about what he talked. Maryse and Robert still didn’t know and Alec really didn’t like keeping secrets from them. But then at the same time, he didn’t know how they would react, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Mom and dad still don’t know?” asked Alec quietly and Isabelle shook her head.

“No,” she mouthed and sighed.

“They aren’t suspecting something, right?” asked Alec, just wanting to make sure.

“Not that I’m aware of,” said Izzy.

“Good,” said Alec. “How’s Jace?”

“Oh, he’s good,” said Isabelle and grinned. “It seems that Magnus was right after all. I spoke to him yesterday,” said Isabelle and made a short pause. Jace wasn’t living in the Institute anymore; he and Clary moved in together just a few weeks ago. Isabelle was the only one of them living at the Institute, but even she was thinking of leaving the place and move in with Simon. “He said that the bond went back to normal, everything’s like the way it used to be,” said Isabelle. “So that’s good.”

“Yeah,” said Alec, feeling relieved. He spoke to Jace a few days ago and the blond told him that he was still experiencing some abnormalities with their _parabatai_ bond. But at that time, Alec’s body was still feeling a bit sluggish and feverish, so the transition or adjusting of his body was still happening, which made an impact on Jace and their body as well.

Isabelle leaned closer to Alec, to take a closer look at him. At first glance, he looked completely the same, but if one took a closer look, they could see that Alec looked different. His appearance didn’t change, but he looked happy; he was literally radiating happiness and a smile tugged at Isabelle’s lips. “You look different,” she commented and Alec frowned. “You look… happy,” said the girl and made a short pause. “I’m so happy for you and so proud of you, Alec,” she then added and Alec just gave her an awkward smile.

“Yeah, I _am_ a lot happier,” said Alec. “And so are Max and Magnus.”

“I bet.”

When Alec was about to say something, his phone started ringing and he almost rolled his eyes when he saw Magnus’ name written on the screen. “Speaking of which,” said Alec under his breath and then picked up the phone call. Isabelle smirked when she noticed that it was Magnus calling and she chuckled when she saw Alec’s face; he looked somehow annoyed. But, she found it extremely sweet with the way Magnus was constantly checking up on Alec. Sure, it could get annoying, but Isabelle would love it if Simon would decide to send her a text or two during the day, instead of waiting for her to contact him first. She then sighed and leaned back in her chair.

“Hey, Magnus?” asked Alec and tried not to sound too annoyed. “I’m at the Institute now and Isabelle and I were just having a-”

“ _Daddy?_ ” said the voice from the other side of the phone call and Alec’s annoyance disappeared in a heartbeat. He straightened himself up in his chair and his grip around the phone tightened. It wasn’t like Max to take Magnus’ phone to call him, so at first he thought that something was wrong. But, he could hear Magnus in the background telling Max something, so he quickly relaxed and smiled. “ _He-llo!_ ” almost sang the boy, because his father wouldn’t reply to him. “ _Are you there?_ ”

“Hey, buddy,” said Alec and his smile was wide now, so warm and bright that it would be able to melt icebergs. Isabelle knew that her brother was probably talking to Max, because that smile was only present in presence of the little boy. “What’s up?”

“ _Oh, you’re here!_ ” said Max happily. “ _Papa, daddy picked up!_ ” said Max happily and Alec just chuckled when he heard Max speaking with Magnus.

“ _I know, he’s on speaker, so I can hear him as well, Blueberry,_ ” said Magnus.

“ _Ooh,_ ” said Max.

“So, why are you calling me?” asked Alec with a smile and arched an eyebrow when there was silence on the other side of the phone call. “Are you two checking up on me again? Because, like I said earlier, I’m feeling fine,” said Alec.

“ _No, it’s not that,_ ” said Magnus. “ _Max has something to tell you, don’t you Max?_ ”

“ _Yes!_ ” said the boy excitedly.

“Oh, okay,” said Alec. “What’s up, little man? Lay it out on me,” said Alec playfully and Max giggled.

“ _Papa has been teaching me magic today,_ ” said Max happily. “ _I learned a new spell, daddy,_ ” said Max proudly. “ _Now I can change colour of things. I changed the colour of my teddy, he’s blue like me now._ ”

Alec grinned when he heard that. He was happy to hear that Max’s magic learning was going great and for him to learn such a spell was _so_ Magnus. Magnus loved decorating with magic, so of course he couldn’t help himself but to teach him that spell, which was probably his favourite. “Oh, that sounds really exciting. I’m really proud of you, Max,” said Alec and Magnus chuckled.

“ _You should see him go,_ ” said Magnus. “ _He was literally on fire today._ ”

“I bet,” said Alec. “I can’t wait to see you do the spell, Max.”

“ _When will you come home?_ ” asked Max, because he wanted to show off his new skill to his father.

“Soon,” said Alec, was waiting for Jace to come over to the Institute, so that they could have the training as they agreed previously that day. “I just have to kick your uncle’s butt and then I’ll be on my way home,” he then added and Max giggled, but was happy to hear that Alec was going to be home soon.

“ _Okay. Good luck, I know you’ll win, daddy,_ ” said the boy then and then Alec could tell that his son must’ve gone off to somewhere.

“ _Try not to push yourself too hard, Alexander,_ ” said Magnus and Alec rolled his eyes. “ _And don’t you dare to roll your eyes at me, Alexander Gideon Lightwood,_ ” scolded him Magnus, Alec quickly straightening himself up in his chair and he looked around. How did Magnus know that he was rolling his eyes at him?

“I wasn’t-”

“ _But you were,_ ” said Magnus playfully, because he knew the Shadowhunter. “ _You know that my powers have no limits, I can see everything you do. Everything,_ ” he said then and Alec snorted.

“Of course you can,” said Alec and then waved to Jace, who suddenly appeared in the distance. “Anyway, Jace just came and I’ll have to go now. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“ _Okay. Go get him tiger,_ ” said Magnus. “ _See you later, love you,_ ” added the warlock and Alec went red into the face when Magnus blew him a kiss through the phone call.

“Yeah,” stammered Alec. “Love you too.”

After that, Alec cancelled the phone call and walked over to Jace.

* * *

Alec and Jace had been going at it for a few hours and Jace was getting pretty tired of the training. While the blond one was sweating and panting, Alec was still energetic and he felt as if he could train forever, which was odd. Usually, he would get tired sooner than Jace, so a smirk appeared on his lips when he pushed Jace back, clearly with a bit too much force, because Jace was already lying on the floor again. Alec didn’t get it; he didn’t even push that hard. His _parabatai_ must’ve been really tired, so he waggled his eyebrows and gave Jace his usual, cocky smirk.

“Out of shape, are we?” teased Alec and Jace slowly started picking himself off of the ground. He was sweating like crazy, feeling tired and he had to take a few moments to catch him breath, sitting on the floor. He frowned and closed his eyes; it didn’t make sense. Since when was Alec so powerful? Sure, Alec was a strong fighter, but still; Jace was always ahead of him. And even if he wasn’t, everyone would get tired by this point. But Alec wasn’t showing any signs of being tired. Jace had to force himself not to roll his eyes, because Alec finally got the chance to show off and he just shook his head.

“Just wait and see who’s out of shape,” said Jace cockily and ran towards Alec. He acted quickly and just as he was about to grab one of Alec’s hands to tackle him down, Alec moved quickly, grabbed his hand instead and pressed Jace against the wall, twisting his arm behind his back and Alec smirked at his _parabatai’_ s poor attempt. Jace winced out in pain and Alec quickly released him. Jace was speechless; he had never seen Alec move so fast. He had never seen any Shadowhunter move that faster, for that matter. Alec’s speed was similar to a vampire’s and Jace puzzled turned around. “Time out,” panted Jace and leaned his head back against the wall. “Can I ask a question?”

“Sure, go ahead,” said Alec, who was now leaning against the wall as well, wearing his grin and he waggled his eyebrows again, making Jace wish that he could wipe that smug smile from his brother’s face.

“Did Magnus cast a spell on you or give you a potion?” asked Jace and Alec frowned, but then almost started laughing. So, Jace was starting to look for poor excused for him beating him like that? Alec clicked with his tongue; that was _so_ like Jace.

“No,” said Alec. “You’re just a sore loser, Jace.”

“I’m being serious,” stammered Jace. “I’ve never seen you move as fast as you did before. I’ve never seen any Shadowhunter moving so fast without the help of runes,” said the blond one and took a moment of silence. “It’s like… I can’t even touch you,” he said. “I’m not trying to sound like a sore loser, but usually you’d be tired by now as well. But… you’re not today for some reason.”

Alec stopped making fun of Jace and slowly nodded. He didn’t even notice it before, because he was so focused on training. However, he felt stronger lately, so maybe his hunch was right? The furrow between Alec’s eyebrows deepened and he shrugged. “Maybe it’s the rune,” whispered Alec and Jace looked up at him. “Ever since Clary… ever since we went through _that_ , I feel stronger,” said the Shadowhunter. “I thought I was just making things up, but what if the rune somehow made me stronger?”

“It would make sense,” commented Jace. “Also it’s not fair. Immortality and superpowers?” stated Jace bitterly and Alec grinned proudly, knowing that Jace was just being bitter because he beat him for once. “So, you’re like a Super Shadowhunter, or what?”

“It would appear so,” said Alec, because to some extent, it made sense. The rune was supposed to keep him immortal, so it would probably offer him some protection as well by making him stronger. “And like you’re the one to talk. You are a so-called ‘Super Shadowhunter’ as well,” said Alec and chuckled. It was true, thanks to the Angelic blood, Jace was stronger than other Shadowhunters, so he didn’t really get all of that complaining. “Want to go for a second round?” asked Alec then and Jace just straightened himself up, rubbed his palms together and nodded.

“I thought you’d never ask,” said Jace.

In the second round, the two of them decided to train with weapons. At first, Alec was winning again, but Jace started to concentrate more and quite quickly started catching up to Alec. Even though Alec was staring to lose again, he smirked, because he loved a challenge. At some point, Alec wasn’t paying too much attention and when Jace stroke with his weapon, thinking that Alec would move his arm away, he cut Alec in the process. The blade of the weapon pierced deep into Alec’s arm and the Shadowhunter let out a loud scream of pain, caught off guard and Jace quickly dropped his other weapon and went over to Alec, who was kneeling down and heavily bleeding.

“Shit,” whispered Jace. “I didn’t mean to,” he said. “I thought you’d move your arm away. I’m sorry, I-”

“Don’t worry,” said Alec, gritting his teeth as he was holding his bleeding arm with his other one. “The wound is not that serious, nothing that the healing rune can’t fix,” said Alec and got up a bit. “Give me my _stele._ It’s in my back pocket,” he then said and Jace quickly nodded, taking the _stele_ out of Alec’s pocket and just as he was about to give it to Alec, the other one let out a surprised yelp. Something appeared to surprise the other one so much that he ended up collapsing back onto the floor, his eyes wide open with shock, his healthy hand gripping onto the wounded arm.

“Alec, what happ-” started Jace, but his voice trailed off when he saw what was going on.

When Alec was waiting for his _stele_ , he felt a weird tingling sensation in the place where the Immortality rune was. The tingling sensation turned into a burning one, but he didn’t feel it in his leg anymore. The sensation moved to his bleeding arm and when Alec’s eyes located his wound, his eyes widened when he saw the wound healing on its own, without _iratze_. That surprised him so much that he collapsed onto the floor, grabbed onto his arm and all of the colour drained from his face.

“W-what the hell is going on?” asked Alec, his voice shaking and Jace leaned over, just as shocked as he was and the two of them just watched how the wound completely disappeared in a minute or so. After that, the only thing that was damaged was Alec’s sweater and Jace had to touch Alec’s arm to actually realise that the wound was really gone. “I didn’t even use _iratze_ ,” whispered Alec.

“Holy shit,” muttered Jace. “It’s Clary’s rune.”

“Yeah,” breathed out Alec. “It works.”

“My girlfriend is amazing,” blurted out Jace, who just kept staring at Alec’s arm and he then just laughed. He was happy to see that the rune was working. He looked at Alec again, who was now finally out of the prior shock and he nodded.

“She is,” admitted Alec. “I can’t believe I used to dislike her,” he then blurted out Alec and Jace nodded.

“Told you,” said Jace. “She’s pretty awesome,” said Jace and then got up onto his legs, reaching his hand out to Alec, who took it and allowed himself to be pulled up onto his legs.

“I wonder what kind of other things the rune can do,” said Alec, who was now only thinking out loud and Jace stopped him in his place by placing a hand onto his shoulder.

“Hold your horses,” said the blond one. “I hope you’re not thinking about testing your luck by doing something stupid or dangerous. The most important thing is that we know that the rune is working. There’s probably more things to it, but give it time to realise your new powers. It took me a long time to discover mine, so take my advice.”

“You’re starting to sound like Clary. What happened to your adventurous side?” asked Alec playfully and Jace rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I was thinking about jumping off of a cliff, relax. It was just a thought, I’m not that stupid,” said Alec grumpily and clicked with his tongue.

“What can I say? Thanks to Clary, I’m a changed man,” said Jace and sighed. “She makes me a better person.”

Alec stood there dumbfounded, at first debating whether Jace was serious or not. When he realised that Jace was being serious, Alec grimaced and stuck out his tongue. Sure, he was a grown man, but hearing those words coming out of Jace’s mouth made him feel… ugh. “Yeah, I’m happy for you,” said Alec weakly. He meant no disrespect; he learned how to like Clary and now he owed her literally his own life. This wasn’t a blow at Clary at all, but it was just scary how cheesy Jace had gotten. What did he see in him years ago?

“What’s with that face?” asked Jace and Alec started laughing out loud. Much to his luck, he didn’t have to respond to that question, because he was saved by a phone call from Magnus. It was Max again, asking him when he was returning back home, the little warlock beyond excited to show what he learned to his father, so in the end, Alec just excused himself and hurried back home, where he was safe from Jace’s corny words.


	8. Allow yourself to be happy

_Fear of happiness; you’ve become accustomed to a life when something good happens,_

_Something else is taken away from you; something of a greater value._

\- **Artesque**

* * *

 

“So I take it that Alec went through it, then?” asked Catarina, who was over at the Lightwood-Bane residency. She noticed that Magnus looked much happier as soon as she stepped inside of the apartment. While Max and Alec were out, taking a walk around the city, Magnus and Catarina were having a little chat. Earlier, the warlock wanted to go along, but then one of his clients came unannounced and much to Alec’s disappointment, Magnus had to stay at home. Technically, the client came in the middle of Magus’ working hours, so Alec didn’t complain too much. After Magnus was done with the client, Catarina came and Magnus was glad to see her. After that day, he hadn’t had the chance to see or talk to her and he has so, so many things to tell her.

Magnus grinned at Catarina’s comment and he nodded. “Yes,” said Magnus and made a short pause before continuing. “That day… you made me realise some things, Cat. It was thanks to your advice that I finally let him know how I truly felt,” muttered the warlock and Catarina gave him a ‘told-you-so’ kind of smile, which was followed by a wink.

“Let’s be honest, Magnus, have I ever had a bad advice?” asked Catarina playfully and Magnus laughed along, but then nodded. In a way, she was right. “Well, that’s great. I’m really happy that you were able to find someone who would literally do anything to be with you forever. I think that’s really sweet,” she then went on by saying. “So, how has it been since Alec had gotten that rune?”

“Well,” started Magnus. “After Clarissa drew that rune, Alexander’s body went through major changes. He was bed-ridden for the first few days, but after that, he has gotten a lot better. He managed to recover quickly, thank God,” he said and scrunched his nose when he remembered how miserable Alec was during the first few days. “Now, he’s perfectly fine.”

“Oh, that’s amazing,” said Catarina and Magnus hummed in agreement.

“But it seems that the rune has given him a few more powers than just immortality,” said Magnus and Catarina frowned, because she didn’t know what the other meant. “He told me that he has gotten stronger and faster when he trains or when he’s on a mission. And, yeah, that’s something that I’ve noticed as well. Lately he has been a lot more… _energetic_ in more ways than just one,” said Magnus after a few moments of thinking how to word what he meant and a smirk spread across his face when a loud ‘oh’ left Catarina’s mouth. “I don’t mean it like that,” said the warlock quickly, but he knew that he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Oh, of course you didn’t,” said Catarina when he noticed the smugness on Magnus’ face and she just chuckled.

“But apart from that,” went on by saying Magnus. “It appears that the rune is working. It’s keeping him safe. He had gotten wounded a few times out on the missions, but the wounds always end up healing themselves, without _iratze,_ ” he then added and Catarina’s eyes widened. Magnus was really happy when Alec told him that the rune was keeping him safe from getting hurt; finally, he didn’t have to worry when he would go out hunting down the demons. “I mean, it does make sense, it’s keeping him from getting hurt.”

“Yeah, I guess it does make sense,” said Catarina after a while and then puffed her cheeks. “Little Max must be thrilled, huh?”

“Oh, he is,” whispered Magnus with a smile and chuckled. “He’s happy, I’m happy, Alec’s happy… everything seems so perfect,” said Magnus and then his smile disappeared. Sure, everything seemed perfect, but behind all of that happiness, there was still anxiety present, at least on Magnus’ side. Life experiences had taught him that happiness could end in a blink of an eye and shivers ran up his spine, because he knew that the chances of things ending too soon were big. Hiding such a rune from the Clave… it was practically a death wish. Magnus shook his head and then leaned back, a smile returning back onto his lips and he cleared his throat. “It feels like a dream and I just,” he said. “I never get to experience such happiness. Always something happens that-”

“It’s because you don’t allow yourself to be happy. Not only for a second,” scolded him Catarina. She knew how high the stakes were of the Clave finding out about that rune, but at the same time, Magnus needed to allow himself to be properly happy for once.

“It’s not that simple this time, Cat,” said Magnus. “The Clave-”

“Fuck the Clave, Magnus,” said Catarina and Magnus just had to laugh at her. “Don’t worry about the Clave. If they find out about it, yes it’ll suck, but I’m sure that you’ll think of something. You always do, you’re far smarter than them and so is Alec,” said Catarina then, putting Magnus’ worries at ease at least for a bit. Sure, Magnus was still nervous, but he decided to stop worrying about it for the time being and rather focused on being happy.

“You’re right,” said Magnus and snapped with his fingers, a bottle of whiskey appearing in his hand and two glasses appeared on the coffee table. “You know, we should drink to that,” said Magnus. He then poured himself and Catarina a drink and she took the glass when it was handed to her. “To a long and happy life of eternity,” announced Magnus and Catarina nodded.

“I’ll drink to that,” she said, clinked her glass with Magnus’ and then emptied her own glass, Magnus doing the same.

* * *

“Daddy, wake up,” said Max and gently smacked Alec across the face. It was currently a Sunday morning and Magnus woke up pretty early that day. Because he was bored, he went straight to his dads’ bedroom, wanting to be entertained. Luckily, Magnus was up by the time that Max knocked onto the door and with a snap of his fingers, the door was opened. He felt far too tired to actually get up and walk to the door. Also, Alec was still soundly asleep next to him, his arms wrapped around him, Alec’s head resting on top of the warlock’s chest and Magnus really didn’t want to interrupt a precious moment like that.

Magnus grinned when he saw that Alec mumbling something in his sleep, but didn’t wake up when Max was calling out to him. Even that smack wasn’t enough to bring Alec from sleep and he only rolled onto his side. Max perked up, thinking that he woke up his father, but his annoyance returned when Alec started snoring louder and he looked up at Magnus frustrated. “Papa, wake daddy up,” complained Max. “He promised me to take me out to park today,” he then added and Magnus placed a hand on top of his son’s head.

“Now, now, calm down, Blueberry,” said Magnus and Max giggled when he was called that. He liked the nickname; Magnus always found interesting and hilarious nicknames for people. For example, he called aunt Clary, Biscuit. “It’s still early, plus it’s Sunday. Alexander came home late yesterday, remember? Let’s allow him to sleep a bit longer,” said Magnus and Max just let out a frustrated sigh, but in the end nodded and allowed Magnus to pick him up and carry him into the kitchen, where the two of them had breakfast.

A few more hours passed after that and Max was growing more and more impatient. It was already past 10 am and usually, Alec would wake up by then. Papa did mention something about Alec coming late home yesterday, but also, Max really wanted to go to the park. As Magnus was in the middle of cleaning up after the breakfast, Max went back into the kitchen and gently tugged onto the fabric of Magnus’ shirt and the man turned around, arching an eyebrow when he saw a very impatient Max.

“Papa, he’s still not waking up,” whined Max and Magnus sighed, looking up at the clock and his eyes widened when he saw the time. “Can I go wake daddy up now?” he then asked and Magnus slowly nodded. He followed Max into the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe, chuckling when he saw Max pouncing on top of the bed.

The little warlock gently shook Alec’s shoulder and then pouted, because Alec didn’t want to wake up. However, he soon thought of another way to wake Alec up. He moved his hands just like Magnus showed him the other day and he giggled when blue magic sparks came from underneath his fingers and a small, blue butterfly flew across the room, landing on top of Alec’s nose. Magnus grinned when he saw Max using his magic and he felt proud; he was the one who taught Max that. He then laughed when he saw that Alec could feel something on his nose, because the sleeping man scrunched his nose, which Magnus found beyond adorable and then sneezed.

Alec, who felt something tickling him on his nose, reached up with his hand and tried to chase the thing away. Max giggled and made the butterfly fly up again and then it landed back on top of Alec’s nose. Alec frowned again and he let out an annoyed groan. He still felt sleepy, but in the end, he opened his eyes and yawned, letting out a surprised yelp when he saw something blue on his nose. When he took another look at it, he saw a butterfly flying across the room, leaving a trace of blue sparkles behind it and when he heard giggling coming from behind him, he smiled as well. He slowly turned around and rubbed his eyes, yawning again before finally looking at Max, who was now happy to see that Alec finally woke up.

“Morning, daddy,” said Max happily and jumped up and down the bed, making Alec’s smile grew wider. The man extended his arms out and pulled Max in for a hug. He then looked up and saw that Magnus was there as well.

“Good morning,” said Alec, his voice still raspy from the lack of use and he then slowly got up into sitting position. “What time is it? You’re both dressed already.”

“It’s 10 am, daddy,” said Max seriously and Alec lazily scratched the back of his head.

“Already?” asked Alec.  

“Yes,” said Max. “You promised that we’ll go to the park today, remember?” he then went on by saying the boy and Alec suddenly felt that he was being scolded by his son. Of course he remembered the promise and he was going to take him there, just as promised.

“Well, if course I’ll take you to the park today,” said Alec and cocked his head to the side. He then glanced up at Magnus, who tried his best not to laugh out loud when Max scolded Alec. “Why is our son scolding me, Magnus?” asked Alec and Magnus slowly walked closer to the bed.

“He woke up really early today,” said Magnus and placed a hand on top of Max’s head. “He’s really looking forward to the trip to the park and was waiting for you to wake up the entire morning,” he then added and Alec then looked back at Max.

“Ah,” said Alec. “Don’t worry, we’ll go to the park,” he then added and Max happily lifted his arms up in the air. “We’ll go as soon as possible,” he then promised and Max seemed pleased with the reply that he received. Wanting to go as soon as possible, Max went into his room and started preparing everything that he needed for a fun day out.

Just as Alec was about to get out of his bed, his phone started ringing and he frowned when he saw his mom’s name written on the screen. Rolling his eyes, Alec picked up the phone call. “Hello, mom,” said Alec. “What’s up?”

“ _Oh, good, you’re up!_ ” said the voice from the other side of the phone call. “ _Oh, nothing, really. It’s just that it’s been a while since I last heard from you, so I just wanted to see how you’re doing._ ”

“Oh, everything’s good,” said Alec carefully and looked over to Magnus, who tensed up, but didn’t say anything. “Yeah, I’ve been busy lately, that’s why I couldn’t see you and dad earlier,” he said. “Did something happen?”

“ _I see,_ ” said Maryse. “ _Well, I do want to ask you a few things,_ ” she then suddenly said and Alec just nervously chewed on his lower lip. His mother wanting to talk never meant anything good. “ _But, not over the phone. Can you come over, Alec?_ ”

“Um, not today, I have other plans,” quickly said Alec.

“ _How about tomorrow? You know, I have a feeling that you’ve been avoiding me lately._ ”

“Um, no, uh, I haven’t been avoiding you,” said Alec and forced out a nervous laughed. “Yeah, I can come over tomorrow,” he then said, even though he didn’t want to really visit his parents on his own.

“ _Well, then, it’s settled. Have fun until then,_ ” said Maryse and then the phone call was ended.

“What the hell was this all about?” asked Alec quietly and Magnus gave him a concerned look. “My mom wants to… have a talk with me,” he then stammered and Magnus stiffened, his heart fastening.

“About what?”

“She didn’t say,” said Alec and shivers ran up his spine. “What if she knows about the rune?”

“Impossible,” breathed out Magnus and shook his head. “It’s probably something else,” he then added, but he was nervous too.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” muttered Alec, his worries forgotten as soon as Max returned back into the room.

“Daddy are you coming?” asked the boy and Alec quickly nodded, stood up and followed Max into the kitchen, where he had a quick breakfast. Magnus, on the other hand, was left in the bedroom, his usual worries creeping back into his heart and he gulped.

_What if she knows?_


	9. Is there something you want to tell me?

_The face is the mirror of the mind,_

_And eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart._

**\- St. Jerome**

* * *

 

Alec tried stalling seeing his mother for the longest time that he could; he didn’t go see her the next day like he promised her. She kept calling him and asking him if something was wrong, but his excuses were always the same; he was busy. Alec tried not to think of it too much, but his mother was persistent and in the end, she actually _ordered_ him to come see her, because it was more than obvious that he was avoiding her at that point. He was avoiding the meeting for almost a month, but he knew that he couldn’t keep running away from her forever. So, Alec was currently at the Institute, waiting for his mother to come and shivers ran up his spine when the woman finally decided to show up.

Maryse didn’t look happy; she looked rather annoyed and Alec cursed under his breath. He shouldn’t had avoided her for so long, of course she was going to be mad. Even Jace and Isabelle started avoiding Robert and Maryse more and more lately, so of course the two of them were getting suspicious. Alec felt his heart hammering against his ribcage when he remembered that the woman wanted to talk about something, or ask him a few things and he just shifted uncomfortably in his chair, standing up when his mother was closer and he gave her a warm, but nervous smile when she was standing close to him.

“Hey, mom,” said Alec, trying to play it off cool, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. Maryse could tell that something was going on; she wasn’t a stupid woman and Alec knew that very well. Without saying anything for a while, Maryse then just walked past Alec and signed him to follow her. There were far too many curious eyes in the room, they needed to be in a more private setting and Alec felt a lump forming at his throat when he realised that.

“Come with me, there’s too many people around,” said Maryse and Alec nodded, following her mother into her office. The woman then sat down in her usual place and arched an eyebrow, because Alec just kept standing stiffly. He didn’t want to sit down, but he didn’t have a choice really when Maryse pointed at the chair next to her. “Well, you can sit down,” she said calmly and Alec nervously nodded.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” stammered the man and nodded, sitting down next to Maryse, whose cold face finally cracked and she let out a sigh.

“You finally found the time for me in your busy schedule, huh?” asked Maryse bitterly and Alec felt a stab of guilt at his heart and he just gave her a weak smile. He was about to tell her again that he was busy, but she interrupted him by lifting her hand up. Alec knew that that was a cue for him to be quiet, so he just closed his mouth and bowed his head down. “Spare me tge excuses, I know when you lie. Jace and Isabelle are more convincing liars than you, Alec, and you know it yourself. All three of you have been avoiding me and Robert. Why?”

“I wasn’t avoiding you,” lied Alec, flinching when he heard that his mom heard quite hurt. Well, he couldn’t blame her; he would be hurt too if someone was avoiding him like that as well. “I just… There were a lot of missions lately and I was just tired-”

“Tired?” asked Maryse, surprised. “That’s not what I’ve heard from the others. Lately, everyone has been praising you, so I wanted to ask you what that was all about. And don’t try to pretend that you don’t know; I’ve seen you with my own eyes. I watched you train with Jace the other day; you have changed. You’ve become stronger,” commented the woman and a smile spread across her face. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of you, but I was still curious,” she said. “How and when did you get so strong, Alec?”

Alec froze in place, his mind racing with all kinds of emotions. Others noticed that something was going on with him, of course they did. It was pretty obvious. He mentally cursed and closed his eyes tightly. “I was just,” started Alec. “Training a lot harder lately. I’m happy to see that all of the hard work is paying off and-”

“You’re lying again, Alec,” said Maryse with a small voice and sighed. “No Shadowhunter moves as fast as you did without the use of runes. And don’t try to tell me that you were using runes, because I’ve seen it,” said Maryse. “Did Magnus give you a potion that made you stronger?” asked the woman carefully.

Alec wanted to say that that was it; that would make Maryse’s suspicious go away. However, what if that would bring Magnus troubles? Usually, warlocks giving strength potions to Shadowhunter without the authority of the Clave was illegal. Maryse grew to like Magnus, but who knew. She was still pretty strict about some things. “No, he didn’t give me a potion,” muttered Alec and Maryse nodded.

“What’s going on?” she then asked. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing,” said Alec. “What do you mean?”

“I know that something happened,” said Maryse. “A parent always knows. I thought you should know this by now, now that you’re a parent yourself,” muttered the woman and Alec quickly looked down. The worried expression on Alec’s face confused Maryse and she placed a hand on op of Alec’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “See? I was right,” stammered the woman. “I don’t want you to push me away again like you did years ago when you were struggling with accepting yourself. Talk to me, I’m begging you. I’ve changed, I promise that I won’t reject you again.”

Alec firmed loose fists with his hands and his chest felt heavy. He gasped as if he was struggling for air and he just slowly shook his head. It killed him to see his mom hurt like that, but he couldn’t tell her what was going on. At least not yet. He’d have to discuss it with Clary at first. And with Magnus. He wanted to tell her, because he hated hiding things from his mother and father, but he wasn’t ready to tell her quite yet.

“I can’t,” whispered Alec. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Alexander,” whispered Maryse when she saw pain in her son’s eyes. Usually, Alec would correct her for using his full name, but that time he did nothing, which was another red flag for Maryse. “Why not?”

“It’s complicated,” stammered the younger one and his heart started beating again, fingers digging into his jeans and when he finally collected himself enough, he looked up and forced a little smile. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you what’s going on at the moment,” said Alec. “Give me some time. I’ll tell you when I feel ready. I just-”

Maryse wanted to say something that he shouldn’t hide things away from her, but then she bit into her own tongue and kept silent about that. She had to remind herself that her son was old enough to know what he was doing. If he thought that telling her later was a better idea, then she should respect his opinion. In the end, Alec’s mom reluctantly nodded and gave Alec a warm smile. “I understand,” said Maryse and sighed. “Just, don’t let it get too far, okay? Talk to me before it’s too late,” she then said and Alec nodded.

“Yeah, it’s a promise,” said Alec, but didn’t know if would be able to keep his promise.

* * *

 

“Alec, what did Maryse want?” asked Clary, who came over to Alec’s and Magnus’ apartment as soon as Jace told her that Maryse was asking all sorts of questions about Alec. The red-head was worried, of course she was. If someone was about to find out about the rune, then her life would be over. Alec’s as well. Probably. Only the Angels knew what the Clave would do to the two of them. She was shivering with fear, because she was fearing of the worst. It’s been a little over a month and in her opinion, it was still too early for people to start getting suspicious about it.

Alec, who was sitting next to her, kept silent for a few seconds before speaking. “She knows that something’s going on,” said Alec slowly and watched how slowly all of the colour left Clary’s face and he felt his heart dropping when he saw the fear in the girl’s eyes. He couldn’t blame her, of course she felt threatened. Alec felt guilty, because he knew that it was partially his fault as well for that. However, he didn’t regret making his decision. “She noticed that I’ve gotten faster and stronger. I tried to make an excuse about training harder, but she didn’t buy it,” said Alec then and Clary cursed under her breath.

“Shit,” said Clary and chewed on her lower lip, bringing her fingers up to her lips and then nervously started biting her nails. “So it’s like Jace mentioned; she really knows that something’s going on,” said the red-head, her voice trembling and she tried to even out her breathing. “You didn’t tell her, right? Like, I have nothing against your mom, but sometimes she can be a bit-”

“No, of course I haven’t told her,” said Alec quickly. “I don’t like keeping secrets from her, but keeping this one is for the best. She’d probably go straight to the Clave if she found out,” stated Alec, but then doubted his own words. Maybe Maryse wouldn’t go straight to the Clave, but the consequences certainly wouldn’t be pretty anyway.

“Yeah, I don’t feel quite comfortable sharing this with her quite yet as well,” said Clary, weight lifting off of her shoulder when she heard that Alec shared the same opinion as her. “You didn’t tell any other people, right?”

“No,” said Alec and Clary nodded. “Magnus told his friend, Catarina,” he then quickly added and Clary nodded, because she already knew that.

“Yeah, he told me,” said Clary. “I know Catarina well enough to know that she’s not going to tell others,” she muttered. “The less people that know, the better,” she then stated and Alec nodded, agreeing with her opinion that time as well. It was kind of funny actually; years ago he would never, _ever_ agree with the red-head.

“Have you told any other people?”

“No, not even Simon,” said Clary and then made a short pause.

“Good, that’s good. So far, so good… everything seems under control,” said Alec, but the worry lingered around, because he knew that all of that would be changed at some point. If not right away, then years from now. Others would start aging and his appearance would stay the same, was what Alec figured. Then what? Well, he could easily use glamour, but probably most Shadowhunters could see right through it.

“You know,” started Clary and Alec looked up at her. “It’s not always going to be like this. People are going to suspect something when all of us grow old and you stay the same,” said Clary, a hint of humour could be sensed in her voice, but she was still serious about it. “What are you going to do then?” she asked seriously and Alec felt his throat going dry.

“I,” started Alec, but his voice trailed off and he then bowed his head down. “I don’t know.”

“You should make a plan, the sooner the better,” said Clary and Alec looked up at her. It looked that she already had a plan if something was about to turn for the worst. The older one arched an eyebrow, wanting to hear her further explanation. “Jace didn’t tell you, did he?” asked Clary and Alec shook his head. Tell him what? “Well, we’ve discussed it already… Me and Jace. If something goes wrong, if someone finds out about the Immortality rune,” said Clary. “I’ll do the same thing that my mom did; run away.”

“Clary,” stammered Alec, feeling his heart beating faster when he heard that.

“I know what they’ll do to me if they ever catch me, so I’m running away. Living while hiding from the Clave is still better than rotting in a prison for the rest of my life,” she said and Alec felt a stab of guilt at his heart. “Jace… he said that he’ll be coming with me. He’s prepared to give it all up for me,” she then added, tears welling up in her eyes and he quickly blinked, wiping the tears that started rolling down her face and Alec had to look away.

“This is my fault,” said Alec. “I should never ask so much of you and-”

“Jace said you would blame yourself,” said Clary and shook her head. “Don’t. It’s not your fault. I told you, haven’t I? I’m happy I was able to do this for you. You’re one of my best friends, after all,” said the red-head and looked up at Alec, who slowly nodded. It was true; Clary would do anything for the people she considered her friends. “But anyway,” said Clary, wanting to light up the mood again. “This hasn’t happened yet, so we shouldn’t think of the worse quite yet,” said Clary.

“I can’t believe I was such an ass to you back then,” said Alec with a small voice and Clary laughed.

“You’re right, you were quite an ass to me,” said Clary playfully and Alec chuckled. “But then again, I do understand where you were coming from. Before me, you had Jace all to yourself,” said Clary and Alec looked away. Up until then, they had never properly addressed the past of their rocky friendship. “And then I came and literally stole him from you, so I understand you were upset and didn’t like me. Plus, you were still struggling with accepting yourself,” said Clary. “Besides, what’s in the past, it’s in the past. I’ve never really held any of that against you.”

“Yeah, I suppose you are right,” said Alec calmly and then sighed, smiling when he saw Max peaking from the kitchen. Clary chuckled as well when she saw the boy there and she signed him to come closer. Max didn’t need to be told twice and he quickly ran into the room, throwing himself around Clary’s neck.

“Aunt Clary, did you finish talking with daddy?” asked Max curiously and happily cheered when Clary nodded. “Can I show you the new spell that I learned from Papa?” asked the little boy and Clary nodded. She and Max had a special kind of relationship, she would always show him new runes and the boy would show her his magic when he’d learn something else.

While Clary and Max were busy with playing around with magic, Alec went onto his legs and walked to the kitchen, where he found a very puzzled and concerned Magnus learned over the counter. Ever since Maryse wished to speak with Alec, he had been acting really strange. He was always on edge with his nerves and Alec knew that he had to be listening to his and Clary’s conversation previously, which was the case. Magnus couldn’t help himself but to listen to them. When he heard that Jace and Clary actually had a plan if the Clave found out about the rune, Magnus was shocked. But at the same time, it made sense.

Running away seemed the most logic way to hide away from the Clave. It wasn’t even that difficult; Jocelyn was able to hide from Valentine and the Clave for almost 18 years. If you put your mind to it, then everything was possible. But it would be risky, especially because of Max; he didn’t want the poor boy to grow up in fear like he did. However, if a day like that came, he wouldn’t think twice; he would run away with Alec and Max and hide them away from others and keep them safe.

Alec walked behind Magnus and wrapped his arms around the other’s waist, pulling him closer, resting his chin on top of his lover’s shoulder and he pressed a kiss against the warlock’s neck. “You were listening to our conversation, weren’t you?” asked Alec softly and Magnus leaned back, but in the end nodded.

“Yeah, I was,” admitted Magnus and sighed. The two of them stayed silent for a few moments, thinking what to do or say next. It was Magnus who broke the silence by turning around in Alec’s arms. He placed his hands on top of Alec’s chest and his breath shook when he looked up into Alec’s gorgeous eyes. “If the Clave finds out-”

“Magnus,” stammered Alec.

“I know you don’t want to talk about this, but please, listen to me,” said Magnus and chewed on his lower lip. “ _When_ the Clave finds out about this,” said Magnus, because there wasn’t a matter of _if_ , because it was bound to happen. “I’m prepared to do the same. I’ll run away with you and Max, far away from this place,” said Magnus seriously and Alec slowly nodded. “I hid away from others before, so I know how it goes. I’d protect you and Max and keep you safe. I promise,” whispered Magnus.

“Yes, we need to have a plan, like Clary mentioned,” said Alec. He wanted to ignore this matter, but he needed to be realistic. “I agree. When that day comes, we’ll run away. Together,” said Alec then and Magnus leaned up, connecting their lips in a sweet, long kiss.

“Yeah, together,” said Magnus and even though his heart ached, he was still happy. “Now then, let’s talk about something else. All this depressive thoughts will drive me insane,” said Magnus and Alec hummed in agreement.

Just as he was about to say something, there was a loud thump heard from the living room, followed by Clary’s loud gasp and Max’s giggling. The previous bad mood disappeared a bit and Magnus arched an eyebrow. “Just what in the world are they doing in there?” asked Magnus and shook his head.

“The kids are having too much fun,” said Alec with a grin and then followed Magnus into the living room, all of his previous worries disappearing when he saw Clary chasing after Max. However, his smile disappeared when he saw the state of the living room and even though he could easily clean it up with a snap of a finger, he wasn’t impressed. “I was literally gone for a few minutes,” said Alec, speechless. “Just how in the world did you manage to turn the living room in such a mess?”

“Aunt Clary started it by tickling me,” said Max and pointed to the red-head.

“But, I-”

“Sit,” said Magnus with a low voice, both Max and Clary quickly sitting down obediently. As Magnus started scolding Max (and Clary), Alec leaned against the door frame, crossed his arms on top of his chest and tried his best to hold in his laughter. The amusement was followed by a bitter-sweet feeling and he pressed his lips together. When the Clave was about to find out…

Alec mentally cursed.

 _Don’t think about that. Focus on the positive things and live in the moment,_ said Alec to himself, chasing his annoying thoughts as well and then went over to Magnus and the other two with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm planning to do a little bit of a time jump in the next chapter... 5 years into the future and things are going to change... a lot. The fanfic will be darker, so just a little bit of a warning for the future chapters ^^;


	10. Five years later

_Truth is like the sun._

_You can shut it out for a time, but it isn’t going away._

**\- Elvis Presley**

* * *

 

A lot had changed in the last five years. For example, Clary and Jace were expecting a baby and Alec couldn’t be prouder of his _parabatai_ when he told him the news. Also, he was beyond happy for Clary as well; in the last five years they had grown even closer than they were before, so he was really happy to see that everything was going so well for the two of them. They had moved into a bigger apartment, so that they had more space for the baby and Magnus made sure to help them with decorating the place. Because Clary had done so much for them, Magnus wanted to help them out as much as he could and the two of them appreciated any help that they could get. Also, Clary and Jace had finally gotten married, so everyone was excited about that as well.

A lot had changed for Isabelle as well. Finally, she was able to move out of the Institute and he and Simon moved in together. It had been three years since that and the two of them were living as happily as they could. Isabelle was happier than ever and Alec was happy to see that his sister found her happiness. At first, he didn’t like Simon, but he grew to like him and even though their friendship was still a bit rocky, he was trying his best. As Simon was as well.

Magnus’ and Alec’s relationship and their lives changes a bit too. First of all; they had gotten married and Magnus still beamed with joy when he referred to Alec as his _husband_. Also, Max was 11 by then and was growing up far too fast for Alec’s liking. He wanted him to stay a child for a little longer, but at the same time, he was proud when he would look at their son. At age 11, Max’s magic was a lot stronger and once a quite shy boy had finally made quite a few friends his age. At the moment, everything seemed perfect; everything was where it should be and Alec stopped worrying about the threats almost completely and had gotten a bit careless.

The Immortality rune was working as it should. Not only that it was keeping Alec safe from getting hurt, but thanks to the rune, he didn’t age at all. Even though five years weren’t a lot, Alec already started noticing that Jace for example already looked a bit older than he did and Alec took great joy in poking fun at Jace about that. However, others didn’t seem to notice that at all; at least he liked to think that. And when more time would pass, Magnus came up with a plan that he would use his glamour on Alec; the warlock’s glamour was always stronger. So in theory, everything should be work out great for everyone.

After a lot of thinking and talking to Clary, Magnus and the others, Alec finally gathered enough courage to tell his mother what was really going on. It took him around two years to finally let her know about the rune and much to his surprise, she didn’t do anything. She didn’t even freak out. Instead, she was happy for Alec and even though she felt a bit uneasy about her son’s decision, she never said anything that would discourage Alec. Robert, on the other hand, still didn’t know.

Maryse and Robert had grown apart during the years and even though they were still technically bound to each other by law, they were strangers to each other. At first it hurt Maryse, but as time passed on, she learned how to live with it. While Robert was spending most of the time in Idris, Maryse was much rather at the Institute. Also, the thing that pushed Maryse further away from her husband was that he started siding with the Clave and their insane rules more and more lately. Maryse didn’t know why that was, or maybe it was just because she had changed. But, that was one of the many reason that she didn’t want Alec to tell Robert to know about his secret; she really didn’t know how he’d react, so hiding the truth was better.

However, things weren’t as smooth as Alec and the others thought they were. They were sure that others didn’t know about the Immortality rune. But they didn’t know about the rumours that were going around in the rest of the Shadow world. Many started to see that something was going on, Alec had gotten even stronger in the past few years and even though he tried not to use all of his strength on the missions, there were just times that he couldn’t help himself really and ended up giving himself away. But, he tried to ignore that and he was blindly sure that others didn’t notice changes with him.

The rumours were going around in the Downworld, but were slowly starting to reach the Clave’s ears as well. Luckily, the Lightwoods were one of the most powerful Shadowhunter families, so the Clave officials didn’t act upon on those rumours quite immediately, but they were slowly getting suspicious as well and had already sent out other Shadowhunters that would spy on Alec and the others when they would be out on the missions, but luckily, they didn’t get anything. Yet.

* * *

Isabelle, Alec and Jace were currently out on a mission and it felt like old times. It’s been a while since the three of them were out on a mission together, but since Clary was now pregnant and couldn’t join them in the mission, it felt like the old days. The mission wasn’t even that difficult to be honest; there was a demon attack in the centre of the city and the trio managed to kill the demons fairy easily, especially with Alec on their side.

While Jace was busy with cleaning his weapons, Izzy busy with fixing her hair, Alec sat down and leaned against the wall. Because of the rune and confidence that he wasn’t able to get hurt, he had been getting careless and lately and noticed that demons were able to cause him wounds easier than in the past. It didn’t worry him when he saw a demon bite on his left thigh, but he had to sit down since the bite hurt like hell and it hurt even more when the wound would start healing itself. The venom didn’t get to him anymore; the Immortality rune was able to get rid of it on its own and Alec clenched his jaw when he felt burning sensation on the wound, a moan of discomfort leaving his mouth. Isabelle walked closer to him and placed a hand on top of Alec’s shoulder.

“Does it hurt that much?” asked Isabelle and Alec slowly nodded.

“Yes,” said Alec and rolled his jeans up, so that he could have a closer look of the wound, before it would heal itself. The wound didn’t look pretty; the bite was quite deep and could be fatal if he didn’t have Clary’s rune. He knew that Magnus would get pissed if he knew that he was so careless. Besides, he was angry with himself as well; he knew that he shouldn’t be so sloppy. He knew that he could be better. Plus, the fact that Jace would poke fun at him for it made him even angrier. He gasped when the wound started healing itself and leaned back against the wall. “Shit.”

“You’ve gotten careless, big brother,” said Isabelle.

“Yeah, she’s right,” said Jace cockily, who was now playing with his _stele_ and chuckled. “You should take a better care of yourself,” he added and Alec just nodded, holding his wounded leg. He had to place a hand on top of his mouth and then bite down into the skin, because at some point the pain had gotten so bad that he would probably start screaming like crazy. He didn’t want to show the pain, but Isabelle leaned down over to him and placed a hand on top of Alec’s head and sighed. She was worried for him, but her worries disappeared when the wound finally healed.

“Finally,” stammered Alec. When wounds like that would heal it hurt like hell, but he learned that other healing runes wouldn’t help to ease the pain when the Immortality rune would work. Also, most of his other runes were acting kind of strange and he still had to learn how they worked. But at the same time, he didn’t need them that much anymore, since the Immortality rune did what he needed the most; strength and speed.

“Better?” asked Jace and Alec just nodded, placing a hand over his _parabatai_ rune and he chuckled. Luckily, their bond stayed untouched, despite the previous interruptions and he then slowly got up onto his legs, rolling jeans back down. His leg still hurt a little bit when he stood on it, but after stretching it out for a little bit, it finally stop bugging him and he just sighed then, picking up his _stele_ , tucking it into his usual pocket.

“Let’s get home then,” said Alec and just as the trio was about to leave, something moved behind them, the three of them freezing in place. They quickly turned around and Alec let out a hitched breath when he couldn’t see anyone. However, he could still sense that someone was watching them and he felt shivers running up his spine. Whatever or whoever was watching them clearly didn’t want to get caught and he cursed.

“Who’s there?” asked Isabelle and took out her Seraph blade, prepared to attack.

The next few seconds seemed like hours and Alec cursed under his breath. Even before, he had a strange feeling that someone was watching them, but didn’t think of it too much. He just brushed it off, telling himself that he was probably just making things up. Lately that seemed to happen a lot; he always had a feeling that there was a person in the shadows watching him, but he just convinced himself that he was making things up. But little did he know that someone was watching and observing them for the entire time. Even more; the mission that they were sent to wasn’t even a real mission. The Clave arranged everything to look like a normal demon attack. As the trio was fighting the demons, one of the officials from the Clave was sent to watch them for the entire thing and he saw everything; even the way that Alec’s wound healed on its own, without _iratze_ or other runes. Plus, since it was the demon bite, the whole thing was even more suspicious. By every logic possible, Alec should be lying on the floor, unconscious and not standing on his two feet, having his bow and arrows, prepared to strike as well.

“Show yourself,” ordered Jace, his voice low and cold. Alec felt his heart thumping much faster and he tried not to think of the worst; maybe it was just wind. It was probably nothing; maybe just one of the Downworlders sneaking up on the Shadowhunters out of their boredom. Alec tried everything to keep himself calm.

“Maybe there’s no one there,” blurted out Alec and Isabelle rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be silly, Alec,” said Isabelle. “Look, stop hiding yourself. It’ll be much easier on you,” she said, speaking to the person in the shadows now and shivers ran up Alec’s spine when the shadow appeared to move and after a few long seconds, the person finally decided to show themselves.

Alec tensed up when a tall, brown-haired man stepped out of the shadow; it was a fellow Shadowhunter. Alec didn't know his name, but he could recognise him. He had seen him a few times when he’d visit Idris and he knew for a fact that the man was pretty high up among the Clave officials. All of the colour drained from Alec’s face and he then looked over to Jace, who looked as equally concerned. Isabelle was able to recognise the man as well and she cursed; that meant nothing good.

Alec stayed silent; he didn’t know what to do or say. One of the Clave officials was spying on them. Those words burnt in his mind and he felt sick down to his stomach when the realisation started sinking it. The man wore a nasty smile on his face, which said ‘you’ve finally be caught’. Alec had to look away, because he was going to be sick. He didn’t know how long he was spying on them, but his experiences told him that the other one was there for pretty much the entire thing. Which meant that he saw the demon bite, how the wound healed itself and-

Alec dropped his weapon, trying to get much needed air into his lungs. He knew that he needed to look collected, even though it was pretty obvious that he was screwed. Jace cursed when he saw his brother’s reaction and even though he was screaming on the inside, Jace was the only one who managed to break the silence. “Why were you spying on us?” asked Jace calmly, but his patience ran out when the other wouldn’t say anything. “Answer the question, because you have no reason to-”

“Clave orders,” said the fellow Shadowhunter and his cold smirk grew wider. “You know, Lightwood, we’ve been watching you for quite a while now,” he then said and Alec’s eyes widened. What? Since when? Alec knew that he was always careful outside, to not show his rune or discuss about it. So, why would they be spying on him then? It didn’t make any sense.

“Why?” asked Alec, demanding an explanation.

“Let’s just say that a little birdy told us that you’ve gotten some special abilities and after a few of our men noticed changes as well, you’ve sparked out interests,” said the man and walked closer to the trio, Alec quickly stepping back and his throat went dry. “So, we’ve decided to have a closer look at it,” he went on by saying. “I’ve been sure that it’s nothing. You are a Lightwood, after all, and your family is known to always follow the rules. However,” said the man and made a short pause. “I’m not so sure if that’s the case anymore.”

Alec wanted to throw up and he panicked. Just as he was about to freak out, Isabelle held his hand and he managed to calm down enough. “I-I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Alec. “Did I do something wrong?”

“I’m not so sure that you’re telling the truth, Lightwood,” said the man. “The demon bit you before, didn’t it? How were you able to heal yourself so quickly? You didn’t use a rune,” said the Shadowhunter and Alec felt heart falling to the pit of his stomach. “How were you able to do that?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” blurted out Alec and just as he was about to break down again, Jace and Isabelle stepped in front of him, protecting him from the man.

“He doesn’t have to answer you,” said Isabelle. “And if you keep pushing any further, you’re going to regret it.”

“Oh, he doesn’t answer to me. However, he’ll have a lot explaining to do to the Clave,” said the man, who was annoyed with Jace and Isabelle. He then looked past them and looked at Alec. “We’re on to you. You’re gonna be finished when we’re done with you,” were the things he said last, before jumping up and disappearing into the night. Jace was about to go after him, but Alec stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Alec?”

“Leave it,” said Alec with a small voice, because he knew that it wouldn’t matter now. It was over; everything was done. The Clave was going to figure out what was going on. “It won’t change anything. It’s over, they know something's going on.”


	11. I'll save you, it's a promise

_Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose._

**\- Unknown**

* * *

 

After what Alec realised was going on, he quickly hurried back home, because he needed to tell Magnus immediately that the Clave was onto them. Jace did the same and hurried back home to his pregnant wife, Alec’s heart breaking at the thought of how Clary was going to react when she’d hear the news. However, he managed to supress those thoughts, because he knew that he needed to focus on his own family as well. Because it was really late, he wasn’t that surprised to see that both Max and Magnus were already soundly asleep. But because he didn’t want to waste any more time, plus he knew that he wouldn’t be able to wait until the morning, he walked right into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed, shaking Magnus’ shoulder.

Magnus didn’t react quite immediately and Alec chewed on his lower lip, trying to even out his breathing a little bit. He tried to have his actions under control, but when the thought of the Clave already preparing everything needed for their capture, Alec snapped and he shook Magnus’ shoulder again, firmer this time and Magnus ended up waking up. The warlock let out an annoyed groan when he felt someone shaking him and he wasn’t too amused; he hated when people did that, wake him up in the middle of the night. He had a busy day, so he just wanted to relax and get a proper good night sleep, but that wasn’t going to happen, as he could see.

Lazily, he rolled over onto his side and yawned, rubbing his eyes. When he saw that it was Alec who woke him up, he groaned again, but didn’t say anything. Usually, when Alec would come home late from the mission, he wouldn’t wake him up. So, it meant that something had to be wrong if the other one still went ahead to wake him up, despite knowing how much he hated that. Magnus slowly got up into sitting position and yawned again, running his fingers through his messy hair and it was only then when he saw the amount of worry written on Alec’s face.

Alec was sitting on the bed next to him, his face pale and his entire body was shaking with fear. Magnus could see that Alec was trying to keep his fingers busy with fiddling them in his lap, but that didn’t do much help. If anything, it just made him look more nervous and Magnus was awake in a blink of an eye, no longer annoyed for being awakened from his slumber. He scooted closer to Alec, who was now looking down, gripping onto the bedsheets, but them firmed fists with his hands, his nails digging into his palm, breaking the skin and Magnus let out a hitched breath when he saw that Alec made himself bleed. However, the Shadowhunter didn’t even register the pain; he was completely focused on the fact that everything was going to be ruined in a matter of a few hours. Probably. A few days tops.

“Alexander,” whispered Magnus and gently placed a hand on top of Alec’s, forcing him to open up his hand and he then took Alec’s hand into his own, so that he wouldn’t be able to harm himself again. “You’re hurting yourself,” said Magnus and his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach when he saw that Alec wasn’t listening to him at all. It felt as if Alec was in some sort of a trance and Magnus tried again. "What happened?"

“It’s over,” whispered Alec suddenly and Magnus frowned, because he wasn’t on the same page as Alec. At all. He had stopped worrying about the Clave catching them, so he didn’t get it at first what was going on. However, whatever was bothering Alec had to be serious, because Alec was a mess; he had never seen him like that.

“Darling, what’s over?” asked Magnus softly and Alec didn’t respond for quite a while. He was just sitting there, numb, but then all of the emotions came rushing back to him and he had to bite into his lower lip to prevent himself from breaking down. He was able to put a brave and strong face in front of Jace and Isabelle, but he couldn’t with Magnus. It killed him to know that he ruined everything; if only he wasn’t so careless lately, then he wouldn’t get caught.

“It’s my fault,” said Alec with tears in his eyes and his eyes found Magnus’ unglamoured ones, which were now full with worry and he shook his head. Magnus still didn’t know what was going on, but he wasted no time and he scooted even closer, placed a hand against Alec’s cheek and gently lifted his head up, his thumb caressing Alec’s skin; working almost smoothing. “I’ve gotten sloppy recently. I’ve ruined everything. I’m so sorry and-”

“Alec, you’re not making any sense,” said Magnus. “Please try to calm down and tell me what happened.”

Even if Magnus said that, there was no way that Alec could calm down. “They know, Magnus,” whispered Alec and looked down when he couldn’t stop the trembling of his lower lip. He gripped tightly onto Magnus’ hand, almost painfully, but he needed the touch. It was the only thing that was keeping him sane. Magnus froze when Alec said that and he finally realised what was going on. _They_ knew. The Clave knew about the rune? “The Clave… they’ve figured out that something’s going on,” said Alec, his voice breaking. “They sent someone to spy on me a-and one of the Clave officials saw how the demon bite healed on its own,” he then added, hiding his face into his palms. “They’re going to bring me in for questioning, I’m sure of it.”

Magnus listened to everything and his heart started thumping hard against his ribcage. He couldn’t even remember what happened next, but he just pulled Alec close to himself, his arms wrapping around the Shadowhunter’s body and he pressed him firm against himself, holding Alec close. Alec desperately clung on him, grabbing the fabric of his shirt. Magnus pressed a hand against Alec’s neck and then his fingers travelled up, caressing his scalp and he started rocking back and forth with Alec in his arms. It felt as if he was calming down Max all those years ago, his heart breaking when he heard a sniffle coming from somewhere above his ear.

“Shh,” whispered Magnus. “I’ve got you.”

“It’s my fault,” said Alec. “I’ve gotten careless on the missions, Magnus. If I wouldn’t take a look at the wound then-”

Magnus knew that things were bad, in fact, they were terrifying. He knew the Clave well enough to know that they were probably coming after Alec and when they’d find out what was going on, after Clary as well. Magnus gritted his teeth and closed his eyes tightly; all of them knew about the risks years ago and even though it was devastating to think about it, it was still worth it. But, the price for immortality was a high one. Magnus was used to it, but this was the first time that Alec was faced with something like that and Magnus tried his best to calm down Alec down.

“It’s not your fault,” said Magnus and pressed a frim kiss on top of Alec’s head. “Everything’s gonna be okay,” he then lied.

“You’re lying,” said Alec.

“Of course I am,” said Magnus, whose voice was cracking as well and his heart pained for Max. Now that the boy was older, he properly understood all of the risks of the Immortality rune and Magnus made it sure that he explained to the boy properly. He explained their plan if the Clave caught them; the running away. Max was heartbroken when he heard that, but understood that it needed to be done. Magnus’ heart hurt, because they would have to run away; Max would lose his friends, his family. “B-but we have a plan, remember?” asked Magnus. “We’re running away if the Clave finds out the truth.”

Alec nodded, but thinking of running away broke his heart even more. Everything in their lives was so perfect lately; he had a perfect relationship with his family and friends and the thought of leaving all of that behind hurt like hell. If they were lucky enough; only him, Magnus and Max would run away. He didn’t want the Clave to go after Clary as well, especially now that she was pregnant. But, if something would happen, then they would run away together. However, Alec prayed that nothing like that would happen. Alec cursed and his hold around Magnus tightened.

“What if the Clave doesn’t give up and we have to keep living in hiding forever? What if I don’t see any of them again?” asked Alec with a small voice and Magnus felt a lump forming at his throat.

Both of them knew the answer, but Magnus couldn’t bear to say it at that moment. Running away from the Clave would mean hiding away from family and friends as well. It was horrible, but it needed to be done in order to not get caught. Maybe after a few years, when the Clave would lose all of their leads, they would be able to reconnect, but it would be still too risky. Then again, Magnus didn’t know why it couldn’t be done; the Clave got sloppy once they would lose all of their leads.

“Of course you will see them again,” said Magnus, even though he didn’t believe his own words. Alec knew that Magnus was lying, but at the moment, he didn’t mind it. He preferred hearing lies, they made things easier. “Just not right away. _If_ we end up running away, a few years will have to pass, but trust me, you’ll be able to see your family again. Don’t be so pessimistic,” said Magnus. “I’ve been able to reconnect with most of my friends after losing contact with them,” he then added.

While that was true, it wasn’t so simple. Magnus and his friends had all the time on the world, but Alec didn’t have that with his family and friends; the time was very limited on their end. However, Alec decided to ignore that and he just nodded. “Yeah,” said Alec and then allowed Magnus to pull him down onto the bed with him.

After that, they stayed silent; both of them having too much on their mind to put it in words. Every now and then, a muffled sniffle or a sob could be heard; Alec was devastated and Magnus tried his best not to break down as well. He wanted to be strong for Alec, but in the ended crying as well, just not showing it to Alec.

When the morning came, everything seemed peaceful at first. Alec and Magnus were sitting in the kitchen when Max came out of his bedroom, his hair sticking out and a bright smile spread across Max’s face when he saw his parents.

“Morning, dad,” said Max, looking at Alec, who was sitting the closest to him and Alec just gave him a smile and nodded.

“Morning,” said Alec and gave his son a weak smile.

“Papa, what’s wrong with dad?” asked the boy when he sat down next to Magnus and the warlock’s heart grew heavy again. He knew that they should let their son know what was going on, but he didn’t know how to start the conversation. Just as he was about to answer, there was loud knock at the door and Alec froze, all of the colour draining from Magnus’ face.

Neither of them didn’t want to go answer the door. What if it was the Clave? Alec knew how fast they worked, but at the same time, it could be Jace or Clary as well. Alec sank down in his chair when the knock were getting louder and more impatient; it wasn’t Jace or Clary. Magnus got the same feeling as well and in the end, despite his fear, managed to walk over to the door. After a few breaths, he opened the door and almost had a heart-attack when he saw three Shadowhunters, who were unknown to him, standing in front of the door. Magnus was frozen in fear, but at the same time, he expected them to show up at the door.

Honestly, Magnus didn’t think that the Clave would work so fast, he was confident that they still had at least a few days before something would happen. Magnus already made a plan of running away, but all of those plans came crushing down and he almost cursed out loud. He should had known better; it was because Alec was a Lightwood that the Clave worked so fast. Magnus gripped onto the doorknob and swallowed thickly; he should had ran away with Alec and Max while there was a chance.

“Gentlemen,” said Magnus calmly, even though he was freaking out on the inside. “How can I help out?”

“May we speak to Alexander Lightwood?” asked one of them, not even wasting time and Alec wanted to disappear when he heard that. Magnus gripped onto the doorknob tightly and he tried to stay as calm as he possibly could. There was no way that he was going to allow them take Alec away without a fight.

“Can I know who’s wanting to speak with him?” asked Magnus.

“The Clave,” said a young man. “He’ll need to come with us.”

“Well,” said Magnus and swallowed thickly. “Can you please explain it to me why the Clave wishes to speak with him?”

“That’s none of you concerns, _warlock,_ ” spat one of them and Magnus felt his blood boiling. The racism against the Downworlders among the Clave was still very present and it pissed him off. In fact, things had gotten a lot worse in the past few years; there were a lot of tension between them and sooner or later something would happen. One of them was going to snap.

“I think it’s every of my concerns if you want to speak to my _husband_ ,” said Magnus and narrowed his eyes.

Alec’s heart was beating faster when he saw that Magnus pushed away one of the men, when he wanted to step inside of the apartment. His eyes widened when one of them caught Magnus off guard and the other two grabbed Magnus by his hands, so that he couldn’t use his magic. The warlock was beyond angry at that moment and even though he tried to struggle from the grasp of the grip, but the other two were too strong for him. Max, who still didn’t know what was going on, was angry as well when he saw the disrespect shown to his father.

“Release him,” said Max and before Alec could do something, the boy walked to the two men holding Magnus, blue sparks already flying underneath his fingers. He tried attacking them, but he lacked experiences and ended up missing. However, it was enough to make the third Shadowhunter angry and without even thinking, the other sprinted towards the boy in attempt to attack him.

“Stop it!” yelled Magnus out, but luckily Alec reacted fast enough. His eyes widened when he saw that the bastard actually had the audacity to attack a child. He pushed Max lightly back and he trapped the other man between himself and the wall, pinning him against the wall with his forearm, making sure that he pressed hard. He was angry; he didn’t care what happened to him, but to see that the bastards wanted to hurt his family like that, made him lose his cool. He moved so quickly that the other didn’t even notice when he was standing next to him and he screamed when he was pinned against the wall.

“When did you-”

“How dare you attack my son,” growled Alec. “You worthless piece of-”

“Enough!” snapped Magnus.

“Come with us if you don’t want any of your precious family getting hurt,” said the Shadowhunter and just as Alec was about to scoff, his eyes widened when he turned around and saw the scene in front of his eyes. While one of the men was still holding Magnus, now having a Seraph blade pressed against his throat, the other one was holding Max as well. Alec cursed, but in the end released the man that he was holding.

“I’ll come with you, so stop threatening my family,” spat Alec. “And just so you know, you’re pathetic for stooping so low to attack a child.”

“Alexander, don’t-” started Magnus, who didn’t want Alec to go with them.

“It’s gonna be okay,” whispered Alec and then turned around again. “I said I was going, so release them!” ordered Alec. “They’ve got _nothing_ to do with this,” said Alec then and the Shadowhunters, who were holding Max and Magnus looked at the third one, who just nodded.

“Release them,” he said and weight lifted off of Alec’s shoulders when Magnus and Max were released.

“Dad, where are you going?” asked Max, scared. “What’s going on?” he then asked when he looked at Magnus and saw tears in his eyes. “Papa?”

“Max, don’t worry. Everything will be okay,” said Alec weakly and then placed his arms together when one of the men ordered him to do so. He agreed to go with them, because he didn’t want the Clave to torture his family as well. However, he had a plan to break free and run away as soon as he’d get the chance.

Magnus froze when he saw the men putting handcuffs on Alec. “Cuffing him up? Do you think this is really necessary?”

“It is, he’s aggressive,” said one of them. “He attacked us earlier.”

“Because you deserved it, you idi-”

“Watch your language, _warlock_.”

“Let’s get going, Lightwood,” ordered an older man and pushed Alec forward.

“Fine,” said Alec calmly, but his heart was breaking when he heard Max yelling again and Magnus had to hold the boy back when the three Shadowhunters took Alec out of the apartment. He wanted to chase after them, but he decided not to. He trusted Alec and he knew that the other was going to be okay. Also, he already had a plan how to get Alec out of there. They were probably taking at the Institute first and Magnus knew enough about the security system there. Heck, he casted half of the protection spells himself!

“Papa!” cried out the frustrated boy. “Why did they take dad away?”

“They know,” whispered Magnus. “The Clave knows that something’s going on. They don’t know about the rune yet, but they soon will. Don’t worry about Alec, he’s gonna be okay. I’ll break him out of there, so don’t worry.”

“How did they-”

“I don’t know and it doesn’t even matter,” said Magnus and then placed a hand on top of Max’s shoulders. “Look, when I get Alec out of there, we’ll have to run away, Max. You do understand what that means, right? We’ll have to leave this place.”

Max was screaming no on the inside, but nodded despite his tears. “Yes,” whispered the boy and then broke down crying when Magnus hugged him.


	12. Don't let them break you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: descriptions of violence. I tried to make them make as least graphic as I could. 
> 
> Also, poetry isn't my thing I know... so I apologise if this quote is a bit off xD.

_They can cause you pain, they can cause you wounds,_

_But don’t let them wound you heart._

_For you are a fighter, so fight._

_Don’t let them break you._

**\- Me  
**

* * *

 

Just as Alec suspected, he was taken to the Institute, before they would take him to Idris. He didn’t know how long he was in the cell, but it felt like forever. A few days had probably passed, but he wasn’t really sure, because he had completely lost track of time in there. Because the Clave still didn’t know what was going on, they couldn’t proceed with a trial, so the only thing that they could do was to keep him locked up. Ever since he was locked up, he didn’t see any of the others; they wouldn’t even let Robert and Maryse see him. However, Alec didn’t lose faith just yet; he knew that others were probably trying to break him out of there, or at least convince the Clave that nothing was going on. Alec considered escaping himself, but he was completely exhausted and couldn’t even stand on his own feet even if he wanted to.

The officials from the Clave were trying to get information out of him in the best they were known to; torture. At first, they were only asking questions, but because they didn’t like the answers, they proceeded with a more aggressive interrogation. They tried torturing him with runes, but that got them nowhere, because the Immortality rune was keeping him safe from those. However, they thought of other ways, since they learned that Alec’s body had the ability of healing itself without the help of runes. They would strap him into the chair, secure his arms and legs so that he couldn’t escape and then torture him.

The Immortality rune provided him to heal, but it didn’t lessen the pain and the more cuts and bruises that they caused, the more painful the healing process was. Also, the healing of the rune took a huge toll on him. That didn’t happen before, but now that his body was constantly healing itself, he was starting to feel weak; the rune was taking up his own energy in order to keep him safe. He might not bleed out to dead, but he sure wished that he could be dead at that exact moment.

Alec was currently lying on the floor, curled up into a ball and was trying to even out his breathing. He felt sick down to his stomach when he learned the methods that the Clave was using these days to get information out of their enemies. However, was Alec even their enemy? Innocent until proven guilty was the slogan that they liked to say, but who were they kidding? When something was happening that they didn’t understand, they went to extremes to find out what was going on; even if it meant killing or hurting one of their own.

Alec lifted his head up, barely lifting it off of the ground and his eyes filled with horror when he saw all of the blood around the chair. It was his. If a normal Shadowhunter lost that amount of blood, they would be dead by then and Alec felt a lump growing in his throat. That was only going to make the Clave more suspicious. What if they already knew what was going on? That was probably impossible, however, it was bound to happen. The Shadowhunter slowly turned onto his back and ignored the burning pain on his leg; he didn’t want to touch it. He knew that there were cameras all over the place and if he would just suggest touching his leg, they would see it and figure out the meaning of everything immediately.

After a while, when Alec had finally gained enough strength, he forced himself up into sitting position and he leaned back against the cold wall. He was wondering what the others were doing. How come that none of them came to see him? If Alec would be thinking rationally, they he would know that others were forbidden from seeing him. However, he was desperate them and he started fearing of the worst. What if the others tried getting to him, but were captured in the process? Were they sent to Idris? What would happen to Max if Magnus would get caught trying to break him free? Alec’s mind was racing with all those questions and just as he was about to drive himself to insanity, the door opened and Alec’s eyes widened when he saw the people that would usually torture him.

Alec quickly crawled to the other side of the cell and then squeezed himself tight against the wall, trying to even out his breathing. He was afraid; he knew that they would drive him mad with the torture and while he didn’t want to show them that he was close to be pushed over the edge, he couldn’t help himself. Alec gritted his teeth when other Shadowhunters came closer to him and he glared at the woman, who was in charge. She ordered for Alec to be strapped into the chair once again and Alec quickly shook his head.

“Please, don’t,” whispered Alec and then kicked one of the men that was about to grab him. However, as weak as he was, that took a lot of energy and he collapsed back against the wall. Alec glanced at the door, which was opened, thinking that that was his perfect chance of running away, but as he got up onto his legs, the other two grabbed him by the shoulders and started dragging Alec towards the chair again. All of the colour drained from Alec’s face and memories started flashing in front of his eyes. He remembered the day that Azazel switched Magnus’ and Valentine’s body. Only then he finally understood how Magnus must’ve felt and his heart started beating like crazy. He managed to kick one of the Shadowhunters away, but the other was too powerful and in the end he was forced onto the chair again, his arms and legs chained up.

“Now, then, Mr. Lightwood,” said the woman and Alec felt shivers running up his spine. “Either you tell us what’s going on, or we’ll proceed with our interrogation,” she said and Alec gritted his teeth.

“ _Interrogation?_ ” scoffed Alec “What you’re doing is pure torture,” he then added and narrowed his eyes when the woman smirked. God, Alec wanted to wipe that annoying smirk off of the woman’s face and he looked down when she came closer to Alec’s face, pulling out her Seraph blade. Alec’s eyes widened and he froze when she grabbed his hair, lifted his head up and pressed the blade against Alec’s throat. She didn’t press hard enough to cause any big damage, but hard enough to break the skin and Alec stopped moving.

Alec froze in his place; he knew that the rune would keep him safe, but still having a blade pressed against his throat was a terrifying experience. “You know, you’re done for if I press any harder,” warned him the woman and pressed a bit harder, Alec’s fingers digging into the chair, knuckles going white to the bone from how much he was gripping. It hurt like crazy. Luckily, the woman pulled back and released him, walking up and down the cell. “But you know, you should had been dead a while ago. Judging by how much blood you’ve lost,” she said and Alec froze, looking down. “Why are you not dead yet?”

“I don’t know,” whispered Alec.

“That’s a lie,” she said and walked closer to him, lifting his head back up and narrowed her eyes. “Your throat is healed already. How are you doing this?” she asked, calmly this time, her voice dripping from fake politeness. Honestly, it made Alec sick. It would be more pleasing if she was just cutting him open like she was a few hours ago. “How are you able to heal yourself without the runes?”

“I don’t know,” said Alec again.

“You’re a freak, you know that, right?” she asked and Alec’s eyes widened. Alec despised that word and he tried his best to remain cool, but the woman could see that she hit a nail on the head with that and she smirked. “Not _only_ that you’re married to a man,” she started and Alec gritted his teeth. “But he’s a Downworlder. I can’t believe that both of the Lightwoods would stoop so low. A warlock and a vampire, disgusting.”

“Shut up, you know nothing!” said Alec. He didn’t mind if others insulted him, but as soon as someone said something against Magnus, or any of his family for that matter, he would lose his cool.

“And you’re a father to one as well,” she said. “Downworlders are nothing but pests.”

“You’re a pest yourself,” said Alec. “Fucking racist bitch,” he then added and the smirk faded from the woman’s lips.

“Enough!” she yelled and grabbed the collar of Alec’s shirt, pinning him against the chair. “Now speak! Tell us what you know and-”

“Never,” replied Alec simply.

With joy in his eyes, Alec watched how the woman went almost ballistic in front of him, but then suddenly, the smirk was back on and she then nodded, releasing Alec. “Worry not,” she said. “You’ll talk, eventually,” she then said and turned around to the other two. “Bring Magnus Bane and the child in for questioning as well,” she ordered.

“No, you can’t do that!” yelled Alec. “They have nothing to do with this! Leave Max out of this, he’s-”

“This is your fault,” she said simply and walked back to the door. “We wouldn’t do this if you’d just _talk_.”

After that, they were gone and Alec still strapped against the chair. He kept screaming out for help, but his screams were muffled by thick walls and in the end he just bowed his head down. He had never felt so helpless; he wanted to keep his family safe, but he couldn’t. He didn’t care what happened to him, but now that they had threatened with his family, Alec was done for. Angry wasn’t even the word to start describing how he felt. If any of them laid just a finger on Max, he was going to kill them.

Alec struggled to free himself from the restrains and even though he wasn’t getting anywhere, he didn’t stop. He was getting out of there, if that was the last thing that he’d do.

* * *

Magnus was over at Clary’s and Jace’s place and was walking around in circles, as the three of them were trying to come up with a plan. Because Magnus wanted Max to be safe, he sent him to Catarina, even though the boy wanted to stay around and help rescue his father. However, Magnus wasn’t having any of that and despite Max’s protests, he sent him to Catarina and instructed his friend to protect Max no matter what would happen. If something happened to go wrong, then at least he would have her.

Also, in the case that they would have to run away so quickly, Magnus spent the last few days preparing and making sure that everything was in place. He had already portalled all of their belongings to a place where they intended to live for a while as they would hide away from the world. Magnus didn’t want the Clave locating them with a locating spell, so the warlock make sure that he hid everything, so that the Clave wasn’t able to find it when they would search for them. Also, he put a few protective spells, one of them which made it impossible for people to track them with magic, around the place that they were supposed to live at. So, technically, everything was ready for the escape. The only thing that was missing was Alec.

However, Magnus was slowly running out of patience. It’s been a week since they had took Alec away and all that he knew was that he was still at the Institute. That was the only information that Maryse was able to get out at the moment. She was currently at the Institute, but even she didn’t have access to her own son. No matter how hard she tried to fight against the Clave’s orders, that didn’t get her anywhere. What was even more shocking was that Robert didn’t try helping her at all and she was completely powerless, because he was completely on their side. Isabelle was at the Institute and was helping her mom to come up with a plan that would save Alec. The two of them kept the other three regularly updated on whatever was going on, but even they didn’t know much.

Magnus wanted to break into the Institute, but it wasn’t going to be so easy. According to Maryse, the Clave had gotten stronger security, so even his spells wouldn’t help with break Alec out of the jail. He then looked over to Clary, who was sitting down on a chair, a hand placed over her baby bump and he had to look away, because he felt horrible. Knowing that she would have to run away in that condition killed him. Magnus cursed under his breath and Clary looked up at him, her eyes full with worry as well. Jace was standing against the window and was looking out, feeling helpless as well.

“They’re torturing him,” said Jace suddenly. All three of them were in the same room for hours now, but neither of them spoke. Jace was the one who broke the silence, because he could feel Alec through their bond. He knew what was going on for days now, but didn’t want to admit it out loud. He wasn’t even concerned before, because he could tell that Alec had faith. However, that day, it appeared that his _parabatai_ was giving in. Magnus’ heart twisted when he heard that, but he wasn’t surprised. He had his own share of experiences with the Clave and he knew how the interrogation worked. “He’s different today,” stammered Jace and Magnus looked up. “It’s like… he doesn’t care anymore what happens to him. He stopped fighting,” he then added and Clary let out a hitched breath.

“Oh no,” gasped the red-head and a placed a hand over her mouth. “Do you think he told them?”

“No,” whispered Jace. “He might have given up, but he would never betray someone like this. He’s the most loyal person I know,” said the blond and Magnus just nodded, because it was true. Alexander was the most selfless person he met in his entire life, which said a lot. “But still… he has never stopped fighting before. They’ve broken him.”

“I know,” whispered Magnus, his eyes filled with horror when he remembered the day that he spent being chained up in the cell as Valentine and he swallowed back a sob. “The things they do to you, just to get information… it’s horrible,” stammered Magnus and clenched his jaw. “I wish I could do something for him. God, I can’t believe I’m wasting time by just waiting and doing nothing.”

Then again, silence fell between them. It wasn’t until Jace’s loud scream pierced the deadly silence and Magnus’ heart dropped to the pit of his stomach and saw Jace lying on the floor, his hands pressed against his _parabatai_ rune, screaming out Alec’s name.

_What the hell was happening?_


	13. Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: descriptions of violence. I tried to make them make as least graphic as I could... But this chapter is more graphic than the previous one.

_Beat me, hate me_

_You can never break me_

_Will me, thrill me_

_You can never kill me._

**_-_ Michael Jackson**

* * *

 

Alec was pressed against the wall and his eyes were wide with fear when he saw the members of the Clave gathered in front of his cell and were talking about something. Every now and then, one of them would look into his direction and then go back to talking with the others. Alec didn’t know what they were discussing, but at the same time, he didn’t want to know. They were probably discussing new ways of causing him pain, because that was the only thing that they were able to do. After the threat of them bringing Max and Magnus in for questioning, Alec was thrilled to hear that they weren’t able to find them. That made him happy; the two of them were hiding from the Clave already. They paid a visit to Jace and Clary as well, but couldn’t find any leads there that would lead them to Magnus and Max. So far, the Clave wasn’t suspecting Jace and Clary being involved, which was a good thing and Alec hoped that it would stay like that.

However, the ways that they would torture him were getting a lot more aggressive. The previous day, they made him drink a potion that caused him excruciating pain, but luckily, he was okay after his body healed. He didn’t know what kind of a potion it was, but it seemed that the Clave was even more interested in him after that. In a way, he felt as if they were doing experiments on him, since they didn’t know exactly what was going on. He felt sick when he would think about it. He felt like an experiment gone wrong and now people were learning on him new things.

Alec was awakened from his day dreaming when the door of his cell unlocked and he froze when people stepped inside, biting into his lower lip. His breathing had gotten laboured and all of the colour drained from his face when he saw that they brought something with them again. Much to his horror, it wasn’t even a potion anymore. Alec wasn’t sure what it was, but it was a dark green liquid inside of a syringe and Alec quickly shook his head. What the hell was wrong with those people? He wasn’t mistaken before; they really were doing experiments on him and he cursed his weak body; he could had easily escaped if the torture wasn’t so excessive. His body didn’t even have the time to heal properly anymore.

“Strap him up,” ordered the woman, who usually was present there when the “interrogation” was going on and Alec quickly pushed away the two Shadowhunters that came closer to him and he shook his head. There was no way that he was sitting on that chair again. He had it enough and he was getting out of there even if it meant killing people from the Clave. Killing one of them would mean death sentence for sure, but Alec didn’t care. He just wanted to get out of there. Besides, it would be self-defence really. However, he knew how it was… his word against the Clave; it meant nothing.

“I said, strap him up,” she repeated, but Alec was far too quick for the other two and he ended up knocking them down again, narrowing his eyes and then glared at that horrible woman.

“What’s in there?” asked Alec impatiently and pointed to the syringe that the woman was holding. She arched an eyebrow and then a wild smirk spread across her face, which was gone, but the amusement staid present and Alec wished that he could wipe that smug smirk off of her face. “Answer me,” demanded Alec again.

“Oh, you’re quite familiar with this,” said the woman. “Demon venom,” she then said simply and Alec felt sick.

“W-what are you planning to do with it?” asked Alec, even though the answer was painfully obvious.

“Put it on a test,” she said. “I’ve heard that your body is immune to it, so I want to see how your body would react,” she said and then looked at the syringe. “The amount of the venom in here equals to about… six, seven demon bites, so it should be quite interesting to see how your body deals with it,” she said and Alec just scoffed. If she truly thought that she was going to get anywhere near him with that syringe, she was mistaken. “Unless you talk, we’re going through with it.”

“Doing experiments like this on Shadowhunters is illegal. How does this make you any different than what Valentine was doing all those years before? I can’t believe that you think that the Clave is going to be on your side. You’re gonna be facing execution if this gets out,” said Alec, but the smirk on the woman’s face remained.

“Who said it’s gonna get out?” she asked, her voice dripping from fake kindness. “Besides, it’s your word against mine, Lightwood. On whose side do you think the Clave is going to be?”

The corners of Alec’s mouth twitched in fear and he took in a deep breath. The other one was right, of course no one was going to believe him if they would put him on trial. He then looked past the woman and then glanced at the two other Shadowhunters, who were still knocked down. His eyes went back to the door, which was still unlocked and he firmed a tight fist; he could easily escape, he was too fast for that horrible woman, he knew that. He then narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together, it was too easy. The option of escaping was too easy, it was like she wanted him to try escaping. He flinched when a smirk spread across her face and he looked back to the unlocked door; it was so tempting. He should had been smarter; he knew that there was a catch; it was all a game for her.

However, Alec couldn’t just stay there and do nothing; he needed to get away for all cost. No matter how much he calculated his situation, he was sure that he was able to overpower her. She wasn’t even all that strong; at least not when it came to him. Even without the Immortality rune he would be able to win against her. Alec closed his eyes and then made the decision; he was going to escape. It was probably his only choice and if he wouldn’t even try, then he would regret it forever for not even trying. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the woman was watching him carefully and then he went for it.

The woman’s eyes widened when Alec suddenly started sprinting towards her; she was speechless for the split second. She had heard it that Alec was fast, but he didn’t expect him to be as fast as she saw him move. However, truth to be told, Alec was slower than usual, because he was exhausted after the entire week that he had spent in the cell. Not only that he was tortured a few times a day, but the rare meals that they had provided him with weren’t enough to keep Alec’s body functioning properly. However, he still tried to run as fast as he could. Just as he ran past the woman and thought that he was going to be facing freedom in a second, a sharp pain against his back stopped him from running and he suddenly collapsed down onto his knees.

Just as Alec was about to escape the cell, the woman moved quickly and managed to stab the Shadowhunter with the syringe and made sure that every drop of that demon venom entered Alec’s body. She then quickly stepped back and narrowed her eyes, wanting to see what was going to happen with Alec. She was genuinely curious, which made the whole thing even more twisted and messed up than it already was. She didn’t care what happened to Alec at all; she was doing that for her own entertainment.

Alec fell forwards and managed to catch himself onto his hands, preventing himself to hit the ground, but he was quite quickly lying on the floor. At first, nothing happened and he almost smiled when he saw that the venom didn’t do anything to his body. But, he was mistaken, because just a few seconds later, he felt a burning pain spreading from his back, to his limbs and his entire body was overcome with a burning, piercing pain. It felt as if someone was burning him alive and all that Alec wanted to do was to tear his own skin off. He knew that the pain was going to go away; the burning pain just meant that his body was healing, but at that moment, he just wanted to be put out of his misery. His eyes widened when he felt a sharp pain in his _parabatai_ bond again and he curled up into a ball, his hand pressed against the rune. It was like that time that Clary drew the rune; Jace could feel his pain through their bond and Alec could feel it back.

His eyes opened wide when he heard Jace’s name calling out for him and he almost felt relieved, thinking that Jace was there, but he wasn’t. Of course he wasn’t. He called out for Jace as well and then tears rolled down his face; the pain was unbearable. No matter how much he tried to pretend that he was tough, he couldn’t. The pain only grew worse and without even thinking about it, he grabbed the place where the Immortality rune was, his fingers gripping onto his leg. It hurt. It hurt like hell. At that moment he wished that he could tear his leg off, if that was possible, letting out a loud sob, calling out Magnus’ name at that moment, burying his face into the floor, his screams filling the cell. The only thing he could do was to scream and scream, his throat burning as well.

Alec didn’t know why; maybe because it was the venom, or maybe he was just yelling so much, but at some point he lost his voice and all that was coming out of his mouth were muffled and breathless screams and pleads; he was begging the woman to stop the pain. He knew that she couldn’t; what was done was done, but he wanted it to stop. Never in his life had he experienced a pain like that. He tried to pick himself off of the floor and just as he started crawling towards the door again, a sharp pain pierced through his leg and he hugged it again.

The woman raised an eyebrow and moved closer to Alec. “Fascinating. You should be dead by now,” she said and Alec wanted to strangle her; he would enjoy wrapping his fingers around the woman’s face, squeezing the life out of her. It made him sick; he really wasn’t nothing more but an experiment at that moment. “You keep grabbing your leg,” she then said, making a quick observation. “I didn’t even touch your leg. Why is that?”

“F-fuck you,” said Alec in response and the woman’s face darkened with anger again.

That time, she wasted no time. She moved closer to Alec, kneeled down and rolled up his jeans, wanting to see what the reason behind that was. Alec tried fighting her off, but he was far too weak; she was able to overpower him easily and her eyes widened when she saw the rune on Alec’s leg. The man panicked and even though he tried hiding the rune, he knew that it was over. She had seen it and since it was a new rune, she was going to be demanding some explanation. Alec lifted himself up slowly, but the woman was still holding him in place and was just staring at the rune, which was now bright red colour. Alec thought that it was because it was activated, but that wasn’t the case. He was actually bleeding from the rune and he arched his back. The venom was so strong that it made the rune bleed.

“This,” breathed out the woman. “This is keeping you safe, isn’t it?” she asked and Alec shook his head. “I’ve never seen anything like this. What can it do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Liar!” snapped the woman. “Tell me,” she demanded.

“No,” said Alec simply and winced in pain again.

“Well, let me take a wild guess,” she said. “Judging by the fact that you should be dead by now multiple number of times… this is keeping you alive, immortal maybe?” she asked and Alec flinched. He shook his head, but that little flinch gave him away before and her eyes widened in shock. “A-an Immortality rune?” she asked, visibly shocked. “I-it doesn’t exist, it shouldn’t-”

“I don’t know,” said Alec again.

“Who drew it?” she asked, but since the Clave knew about Clary’s abilities and her close friendship with Alec, the woman quite quickly figured it out. “Clary Fairchild.”

“N-no you’re wrong,” said Alec, feeling sick down to his stomach. “She had nothing to do with this. You can do whatever you want with me, but keep her out of this.”

“Quiet!” she yelled out and got onto her legs. “Drawing an immortality rune is a serious offense,” she then said and Alec knew for a fact that she was just making things up. There was no law written about Immortality runes, but Alec knew that the Clave was probably going to make it illegal now.

“There’s no rule that forbids one drawing an Immortality rune,” blurted out Alec.

“So, you do admit that it is an Immortality rune after all,” said the woman and smirked. “This was easier than I expected.”

“No I didn’t-” said Alec, but his voice trailed off when he realised his mistake. He has broken the promise that he gave to Clary; he gave it away himself.

“I’ll make sure that you and your little friend are going to rot in prison for the rest of your lives,” she whispered and shivers ran up Alec’s spine. Just as he was about to say something back, there was a loud bang heard and he perked up when he heard someone yelling out for his name. He recognised the two voices; Izzy and Maryse.

“Let me through. I’ve waited enough, I want to see my son,” demanded Maryse, who was being held back by a guard. Isabelle, however, didn’t have the same amount of patience than her mother and she just quickly took care of the guards and ran past them, grabbing her mother’s wrist and pulled her along.

“We don’t have the time, mom,” said Isabelle as she was running, Maryse right behind her. It was unlike Maryse to be breaking the law, even though she changed, but she had had it enough. She knew what was going on with Alec, what they were doing with him and she couldn’t handle it anymore. Isabelle wanted to free Alec sooner, but because Maryse promised that she would take care of everything, she decided to wait as well. However, a week later things were growing worse and Maryse couldn’t take it anymore.

When they finally reached Alec’s cell, a loud gasp left Maryse’s mouth when she saw Alec lying on the floor and the woman was clearly causing him pain. While she just stood there in shock and stared, Izzy wasted no time. She pushed the woman away, not caring who she was, making sure that she hit the right place that would make her unconscious for a few minutes, which would buy them some time to run away. The woman didn’t notice the two of them coming, since she was turned to Alec, but he sure did and he quickly lifted himself off of the ground.

It was when Alec looked at her that Maryse moved and quickly leaned down, helping Alec onto his legs. Her heart was twisting in pain, because Alec looked horrible. It was clear that he was still in pain and Alec almost cried when he saw his mother. He was more than happy to see Isabelle as well, but when he saw Maryse, he turned into a little boy again and just wrapped his arms around his mother and loudly sobbed when his mother pulled him into a tight hug. Maryse was shocked, it had been years since she heard Alec sob like that and her own eyes welled up as well.

“Oh, my poor boy,” whispered Maryse and allowed Alec to keep hugging her for a while, even though she knew that they were in a hurry. She then pulled back and took Alec’s face into her palms, wiping his tears away. “I’m sorry,” she said and leaned up, pressing a kiss against Alec’s forehead. “I should had come sooner, I’m so sorry,” she then said, tears now rolling down her face as well. Isabelle was looking around, keeping a watch, swallowing back her own tears.

“Don’t apologise,” whispered Alec and pressed his mother closer again. Up until then, he had never felt such a relief after seeing his mother.  “You’re here now, that’s what matters. Did they allow you to see me?”

“No,” said Isabelle, who was now growing impatient. “Mom, we need to go.”

“I know honey,” said Maryse, wiping her tears away and she took in a deep breath.

“What’s going on?” asked Alec.

“We’re breaking you out of here,” said Maryse seriously and Isabelle nodded.

“There’s not much time left,” said Isabelle and Alec’s heart was breaking at the thought that his mother went to such lengths to save him. He knew how she was about the rules. She did it despite knowing how much trouble that was going to get her.

“Yeah, let’s go,” said Alec and took Maryse’s hand, both of them running after Isabelle, following her out of the Institute.


	14. Goodbyes are always the hardest

_You and I will meet again,_

_When we're least expecting it,_

_One day in some far off place,_

_I will recognize your face,_

_I won't say goodbye my friend,_

_For you and I will meet again._

  
\- **Tom Petty**

* * *

 

Magnus was beyond panicking at that moment. Jace had finally stopped and squirming out in pain, but the blond was still in pain and Magnus was just walking around in circles, nervously biting on his nails. God, he wished that he was back at home, so that he could make himself a glass of a strong drink. Sure, it wouldn’t be able to do anything, but at least he would be able to calm himself down. Lately, Magnus stopped drinking so much, since Alec hated it when he would drink if something was wrong, but at a moment like that, he couldn’t help himself. He then looked over at Clary, who was gently caressing Jace’s head and was muttering something to him. Magnus couldn’t make out what they were talking about, but at the same time, he didn’t care. All of his thoughts were with Alec and just what the hell was going on. At some point, he almost went to the Institute himself, but then stopped and just sat down next to the other two and buried his face into his palms.

Jace was still laying down, his arms wrapped around his stomach, but Clary, who was sitting down next to him, placed a hand on top of his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, trying to calm him down. Magnus stiffened under his touch and then slowly lifted his head up, his eyes full with worry when he saw Jace, whose face was still twisted in pain and he was horribly pale. He slowly got onto his legs and then moved closer to Alec’s _parabatai_ , easing his pain with his magic and Jace gave him a grateful smile. Jace’s body finally relaxed and he then let his head fall back against the sofa, his breathing rapid and uneven, his heart thumping against his ribcage. When he looked at Clary, the red-head gave him a weak smile, which soon disappeared and she then looked down.

“Better?” asked Magnus softly and Jace just nodded.

“Yes, thank you, Magnus,” replied Jace, watching Magnus mesmerized as the other still had hands over his _parabatai_ rune and he then closed his eyes. He was tired as hell and he could only imagine how horrible Alec must’ve been feeling at that moment. What the hell was going on with his brother anyway?

“Can you…” stammered Magnus and gripped onto the fabric of his own shirt, his jaw clenching and he just had to take a few moments of silence to collect himself, to form words that would actually make sense. “What happened to him? Can you see him? I know that you can track each other over the _parabatai_ rune and-”

“I don’t know what happened to him,” stammered Jace. He was about to tell Magnus that the _parabatai_ bond doesn’t work really that simple, but he couldn’t when he saw how worried Alec’s husband looked. In the end, he just nodded and bit into his lower lip. “I can try,” he whispered and Magnus gave him a little smile of encouragement.

“Tell me if you need something. If it’s magic, then you can have it as much as you want,” said Magnus and Jace’s heart literally broke when he saw the warlock’s face, twisted in horrible pain. Just as he was about to tell him that magic probably would be necessary, there was a knock at the door and Clary quickly hurried to the door.

“Don’t open it,” said Jace and Clary just shushed him.

Clary slowly walked to the door and didn’t open it quite yet. She was terrified that someone from the Clave was standing there. Just like it happened to Alec, they could come to her home and take her in for the questioning as well. Beyond terrified, she went onto her tip toes and looked through the door viewer, just to be sure. Expecting to see the officials from the Clave, her eyes widened when she saw Isabelle there. Without thinking twice, she unlocked the door and opened the door wide open. Magnus was about to yell at her, but then his gift of speech left him when he saw that Isabelle stepped inside. And she wasn’t alone. Magnus’ heart stopped beating when he saw Maryse stepping inside with Alec, her arm wrapped around Alec’s waist as she was pulling him up onto his legs.

Alec was clinging onto his mother for his dear life and he almost collapsed forward when they finally reached Clary’s and Jace’s apartment. The escape from the Institute didn’t go smooth, of course it didn’t, because they had to defeat a lot of guards before they were able to escape. Maryse and Isabelle didn’t have a lot of difficulties with fighting, but the fight took a huge toll on Alec, since he was already weak from before. He didn’t even register when the door was opened and he just moved his legs when his mother started walking again, his head bowed down, biting down onto his lower lip when his leg ached again, but he kept on moving, since their time was very limited. They were able to buy themselves a bit of an extra time since they disabled all of the guards, but the Clave was going to send backup sooner or later.

Jace’s eyes widened when he saw Alec and he quickly got up into sitting position. Magnus, on the other hand, didn’t waste any more time and he quickly hurried to his husband. His heart ached when he saw Alec’s condition, it killed him to see him like that. At that exact moment, his hatred for the Clave only grew stronger and just as Alec was about to fall forwards, Magnus’ strong arms caught him. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist and then pulled him close to himself. Because he could tell that Alec’s legs couldn’t support him anymore, he quickly carried the Shadowhunter to the couch and placed him on it and then embraced him again, weight lifting off of his chest when the two of them were finally together again.

Alec let out a hitched breath when he saw Magnus. He didn’t see him right away, he only registered his presence when he was sitting on the couch and he had to hold back his tears when Magnus pressed their foreheads together, his fingers gripping Magnus’ shoulders. Magnus saw Alec’s trembling lips and he leaned forward, kissing him softly. “Shh, it’s okay,” whispered Magnus. “You’re safe now, Alexander. I won’t let them take you away again. I should have never allowed them to take you away in the first place,” he then said, feeling a stab of guilt at his heart. If only he fought stronger back then. “I’m so sorry,” he then whispered and Alec allowed himself to be pulled into the tight, almost crushing hug.

Isabelle closed the door and then quickly locked it, her worried eyes finding Maryse’s and Clary’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach when she noticed that. There was something more to it. What was exactly going on? “Izzy, what’s wrong?” asked Clary and then looked at Maryse, who was now looking down, nervously twisting her fingers and Clary then turned around to Alec, who was now feeling a lot better. “Alec, what did they do?”

“Let him rest, Clary,” said Magnus when he saw that Alec started shaking in his arms, but Alec then just shook his head and mumbled that it was okay. Sure, he needed rest, but he needed to let the others know what was going on first. The Clave was going to come after him and now, probably after Clary as well. “Alexander,” stammered Magnus and gently cupped Alec’s face, kissing his forehead and then pressed his lips together. “Don’t push yourself and-”

“I’m fine, Magnus,” forced out the younger one and then glanced at Clary. “She… all of you need to know what happened anyway,” he then said and Magnus reluctantly nodded. It was true, but he still wished that Alec could take a few moments to catch a breath. “They did horrible things. I don’t want to say exactly what, but they tortured me all of the days that I was in there. At first, they were just asking questions, but when they saw that they weren’t going to get any information out of me, their interrogation ways started becoming more and more aggressive. How many days was I in there anyway? I’ve completely lost track of time.”

“Oh God,” stammered Magnus, his hand finding Alec’s and he squeezed onto it, trying not to give into his emotions. He knew what was going on; he was once in his place and he was there only for a day, but it was enough for them to break him. He needed months before he actually managed to properly heal himself.

“You were in there for week,” stammered Maryse and Alec’s eyes widened. It was only a week? Honestly, he expected it to be at least three weeks, if not even more. It was scary how slow the time passed and he let out a hitched breath when he looked over at Jace, who kept holding onto his _parabatai_ rune and Alec then narrowed his eyes. Was the other one in pain? Did something happen to their bond?

“What did they do to you today?” asked Jace with a small voice. “During the previous days, I could tell that you were in pain, but something changed today. It’s like they broke you,” whispered the blond and Clary moved closer to her husband, placing a hand over Jace’s and the older one looked back at his brother. “Then there was this excruciating pain,” said Jace. “It was almost as bad as the time that Clary drew the rune,” he then added and Alec’s face darkened when he remembered the pain. Heck, the pain was still present and he just turned away. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he knew that it needed to be said. Others needed to know the Clave’s dirty ways of manipulating their prisoners. Especially the ones that were innocent. The Clave had changed over the last few years, but not for the better.

“The only thing that they were able to figure out on their own was that I’m able to heal without the runes, no matter how big or small the damages are on my body. So because of this, they started doing… experiments on me,” stammered Alec, Magnus feeling sick down to his stomach and Clary let out a loud gasp, Maryse’s eyes dark with anger and Isabelle was holding back from yelling out in anger. “They would strap me down and then hurt me to see how my body healed. They got pretty creative,” stammered Alec. “The thing you felt today, Jace, was the demon venom.”

“By the Angel,” said Clary.

“They let a demon inside the cell with you?” asked Jace, shocked.

“No, even worse,” said Alec. “They injected me with the demon venom.”

After he said that, the temperature in the room dropped and Magnus felt a stab at his heart. Anger wasn’t even the word he’d describe what he was feeling. For the first time in his life, he actually wished he could kill someone and Alec looked up, placing a hand over Magnus’ and then moaned out in discomfort when he moved his leg. When Magnus looked up, Alec’s heart broke yet again when he saw traces of fresh tears; Magnus was crying. Again. Alec gritted his teeth and gently started wiping those tears away. His entire body was in pain and he had a feeling that what they did to him was going to haunt him forever, but now it hurt more seeing Magnus crying like that. He knew that it wasn’t his fault, but he still felt guilty.

“They did what?” asked Isabelle, who was speechless and Alec nodded, looking over at Jace, who was just as speechless.

“How could they?” asked Clary. “That’s illegal, when the Clave finds out about this, the people who did this to you will-”

“Nothing will happen to them,” said Maryse with tears in her eyes. She knew that Alec was tortured, but she had no idea that it was that bad. She just wanted to break down again, but she didn’t let the tears fall. Swallowing back the tears, she looked up and sighed. “They are the Clave, so it’s Alec’s word against them. Who do you think the Clave is going to favour?” asked Alec’s mother and Clary gritted her teeth in anger. She knew that Maryse was right, but to think that the Clave was still so corrupted scared her. She honestly thought that things changed, but apparently not. “They’ll cover it up, like they did many things before,” she then added and sighed. During the years, she had witnessed so many disgusting and revolting things being done by the Clave. She was angry with herself that she didn’t notice it sooner.

“Something like that happened before?” asked Isabelle and shook her head.

“Many times,” said Maryse, disgust written all over her face. “I was a witness to some of the ‘interrogations’ and even if the person had not been found guilty, the Clave always did irrational things. But nothing ever gets out, they always manage to swipe it under the rug,” she then added and Alec let out an ironic laughter. Of course that was the case. “I’m so sorry, Alexander, if I had any idea what they were doing to you, I’d-” started Maryse, but then looked down and Alec just shook his head.

“It’s okay,” whispered Alec and then bit into his lower lip, knowing that he had more thing to tell. However, all of that was forgotten in a blink of an eye when he looked around the room and he couldn’t find Max anywhere. His eyes found Magnus’ unglamoured ones and he gripped onto his shoulders. “Max, Magnus, where’s Max?” stammered Alec in panic and looked around again. “T-they wanted to bring you and Max in for questioning, but they said that they couldn’t find you. Where’s our son?” said Alec, speaking fast and almost couldn’t allow Magnus to answer to his questions. But he understood his husband, of course he was worried.

“Max’s safe,” whispered Magnus and gently cupped Alec’s face. “He’s currently with Catarina; he’s been there with her ever since the Clave took you. I went to see him two days ago, and he’s doing better than I expected. I, uh, I’ve been busy with preparing everything to leave this place,” said the warlock and chewed on his lower lip, Alec’s heart falling back into the pit of his stomach and Clary’s eyes filled themselves with terror as well. It was finally really happening; their worst nightmares were coming true. “I’ve wiped our apartment from existence and portalled our things into our new place. I also put on a few protecting spells, so that they won’t be able to track and find us,” he then said and Alec nodded, but then looked over to the others, who were speechless.

“You’re planning on leaving, Alec?” asked Maryse with a small voice. She knew about the plan, but still couldn’t believe that Alec was giving up on so easily; he was a Lightwood, he should fight against the Clave, not run away like a coward. “You can’t just leave all of this behind you,” she then said and twisted her own fingers, looking down. “You should fight and-”

“I can’t,” said Alec with a heavy heart. “I know that this is a coward’s way out, but I can’t only think of myself now. Sure, it would be more honourable if I stayed and fought against the Clave, but I can’t afford that now. First off, I’m too weak and even if all of us fought, they would outnumber us. Also, I have a family, a child… I can’t just leave all of that behind. And the risk is too big for me to stay. They were already threatening to hurt Max and if something was about to happen to our son because of me, I…” started Alec, his voice trailing off and Maryse slowly lifted her gaze up. She knew that her son was right, but still. She couldn’t bear to lose his son, not so soon. If Magnus put on so many protecting spells, then she wouldn’t be able to find him. And she doubted that Alec would be exactly out searching for her and the others as well, since the Clave would be searching for him as well.

“Mom,” whispered Isabelle and placed a hand on top of the woman’s shoulder. “I don’t want him to leave as well, but it’s for the best. We’ll probably see each other soon again, right?” asked Isabelle, her eyes filled with tears and Alec just nodded, knowing that he was probably giving his mother false hope, but she needed to hear that. A sad smile spread across Maryse’s face and she just nodded, even though she didn’t completely believed in what they were saying.

“You two will have to get out of here as well,” suddenly said Alec and looked over at Jace and Clary, who froze in place and the blond wrapped an arm around the red-head’s shoulders, pulling her close as the other one broke down in tears. “They know about the rune,” said Alec with a small voice and then sighed.

“H-how?” asked Clary.

“When my body was healing after the demon venom was injected into me, I made a stupid mistake and kept on grabbing onto my leg, so they got suspicious. They saw the rune on my leg and since it was a rune they’ve never seen before, it wasn’t really rocket science for them to put two and two together. I haven’t told them a thing, but they were able to come to a conclusion that the rune was making me immortal, since I should be dead a long time ago,” said Alec and then placed a palm against his lips. “I tried not to give anything away… but you’re their prime suspect, Clary,” said Alec then and Clary just allowed herself to be pulled into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry,” whispered Alec, his lower lip trembling again and Clary quickly shook her head, wiping the tears away.

“It’s not your fault,” said Clary and Jace nodded.

“She’s right, don’t blame yourself for it,” said Jace and moved closer to his _parabatai_ , giving him a sad smile. Alec and Jace kept staring at each other for a few more seconds, the realisation slowly starting to sink in. This was really happening, they would have to run away and he was afraid. “Hey, we’re gonna be okay,” said the blond then and Alec gave him a weak smile.

“Robert sent me a text,” suddenly said Maryse and all of them looked into her direction, knowing that she had even worse news to tell them. “They… the Clave is coming after Alec and are planning to bring Clary in for questioning as well. They know where we are and he said that he tried stalling things, but-” she said and then placed a palm in front of her mouth. “They’re gonna be here at any minute now. Alexander, Magnus… I-” she said and then stopped talking, knowing what that meant; Magnus and Alec needed to leave as soon as possible.

“Maryse, it’s okay,” said Magnus, stood up and walked over to his mother in law, giving her a sad smile. “You did everything that you could. I should be thanking you for saving Alec back then. Even though we didn’t understand each other all of the times, we can both agree that Alec’s safety is the most important. I swear that-” started Magnus, but then stopped talking when Maryse suddenly pulled him into a tight hug.

“Take care after my boy, okay?” she whispered into Magnus’ ear, so that Alec couldn’t hear her and Magnus just slowly nodded, his chest feeling painfully tight.

“I swear, I’ll always keep him and Max safe. Worry not, he’s in good hands,” said Magnus, trying to add a bit playfulness into his tone of voice, but was failing miserably.

“Thank you.”

“You two should leave now,” said Jace, who was still close to Alec and the other one narrowed his eyes.

“You’re not coming?!” snapped Alec in panic and Clary looked at him, shaking her head.

“We’re not ready yet for running away. Magnus prepared everything for you two and if we tag along, the chances of the Clave catching us will be bigger. It’s not enough time now for preparing everything; it took Magnus the whole week,” said Clary and Alec just shook his head. “Alec, it’s okay,” said Clary with a smile. “We’re gonna be okay. I’ll ask Dot for help, she’ll know what to do,” said Clary then and Alec looked at Jace, who kept a smile on his face and Alec almost wanted to hit him for smiling. He knew what he was doing; holding back his feelings, so that it would be easier for Alec to leave.

“Jace, please, come along with us. I’m begging you. You’re my _parabatai_ , my brother, I can’t… for the love of God,” pleaded Alec and gritted his teeth. “I can’t be without you, so please… convince her, Magnus will take care of everything and-”

“Shh, Alec, calm down,” whispered Jace, trying to keep his composure, but the little stutter gave him away. Of course he wanted to run away with his brother, but their time was awfully unlimited. “You know that Clary’s right. We need to think logically. We’ll see each other again, you’ll see. Besides, you’ll always be with me and I with you… through our bond,” said the blond then placed a hand on top of Alec’s head, who just wrapped his arms around his _parabatai_ and pulled him close, burying his face into Jace’s shoulder.

Alec wanted to go to hell with logic, but Jace was right. Probably. He held onto his brother tightly, Magnus’ eyes welling up when he watched the two of them clinging onto each other. He went to Isabelle, who was now a mess as well and he gave her a small smile. Isabelle puffed her cheeks and tried to keep up her bright smile. “I’ll be honest, you’ll be missed, my dear Isabelle,” said Magnus. “I won’t be able to share my fashion trends with anyone else. You know your brother, he’s a fashion terrorist when it comes to that,” said Magnus playfully, but tears were present in his eyes and Isabelle just laughed, but cried at the same time.

The two of them hugged as well, Isabelle wiping her tears when they pulled apart and she cleared her throat. “God, I’m gonna miss you so much. Tell Max that as well, okay?” she asked, her voice breaking.

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to let him know,” said Magnus and pressed his lips together, broken to know that Max wouldn’t be able to say his goodbyes to the others properly. Sure, he had seen the others in the meantime and even though they discussed about leaving, he hadn’t have a proper parting for any of them. But at the same time, Max said that he would rather have it that way; it hurt him less, so maybe they were doing the boy a favour.

After that, they proceeded with their goodbyes, kind of rushed, because they knew that the Clave officials were going to be there at any moment now. Alec managed to say his goodbyes to Clary, but was unable to say anything when it came to Isabelle and Maryse. The only thing that he was able to do was to apologise for everything, the two of them promising Alec that everything was going to be alright. They were probably facing charges as well for breaking Alec out, but none of that mattered at the moment.

“I’ll miss you so much,” was what Maryse whispered to Alec, before there were loud thumps being heard at the door and all of them moved quickly. “Run,” she then said and pushed Alec away. With a heavy heart, Alec broke his hug with his mother and hugged Isabelle one last time, before moving to Magnus, taking his hand.

Magnus opened two portals; one leading to Catarina and one to Dot. Magnus knew that Dorothea would know what to do, so he figured that the others were going to be the safest there and it would buy them some time to figure out what to do. Alec sobbed when he watched the others coming closer to the portals and just as the entrance door opened with a force, Magnus pulled Alec through the portal with him. With one last glance he watched how the others disappeared through the other portal as well and he had to close his eyes as a muffled scream left his mouth.

Alec gritted his teeth, knowing that things were out of his reach now; he could only hope that his family was going to be okay. Now, he had a new obligation, to keep his new family safe; so no matter how much his heart ached, he tried not to dwell about it. Magnus and Max were his priority now, so he needed to focus; he knew that ever since he had gotten that rune; Max and Magnus were his number one. Magnus’ heart was breaking when he listened to Alec’s sobs, long after they were at their new place, hidden from the Clave and the others, but he couldn’t change anything. It hurt him as well, but sacrifices like that came with immortality. He could only do so much to help ease Alec’s pain and he knew that they were going to be okay. He was positive that they would see the others after a few years. He was confident about it.

However, even if the promises of seeing each other were made, little did they know that that was the last time they would see each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for rushing things at the end.  
> I just wanna finish this, because to be honest, I'm dying to write fluff again and am not having fun with writing this anymore. So sorry if this seemed a bit rushed, but yeah -.-   
> There's still one more chapter to come, but that one is a bit more of an epilogue~


	15. 125 years later (epilogue)

_Guilt upon the conscience, like rust upon iron,_

_both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it,_

_as that does which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal._

  
\- **Robert South**

* * *

 

“Papa, where can I put the cake for dad?” asked Max, who was holding a birthday cake for Alec, who was celebrating his 158th birthday that day. Little Max, who wasn’t so little anymore, was coming close to his 136th birthday, but had an appearance of a young man in his early twenties. He stopped aging soon after he reached his 20th birthday and he was quite pleased with that. It felt good knowing that he still looked younger than both of his parents.

Magnus’s head poked from the kitchen and he narrowed his eyes, searching for the perfect place for the cake. In the end, he decided on the coffee table. “Just put it down onto the coffee table,” said Magnus happily, humming a melody of the birthday song to himself. Magnus was throwing a birthday party for Alec and it was a surprise for the other. Alec was still soundly asleep in the bed and Magnus’ smile widened when he started thinking about how happy Alec was going to be, especially now that Max came over as well. Their son moved out a long time ago, but was still a regular guest at their house, especially now that he had a younger brother; Rafael.

Alec and Magnus adopted a baby boy a few years ago; the little boy was three already. They found Rafael abandoned on the streets of the city and decided to take him in. The little boy was a Shadowhunter, so it wasn’t really a surprise that people abandoned him. A lot had changed in the last 100 years; the race of Shadowhunters slowly started disappearing. After the final battle, which happened about ninety years ago, after all of the demons were finally defeated, the race of Shadowhunters wasn’t needed anymore. Sure, there were a very few left and even the ones that were left started leaving their position as Shadowhunters and started mixing with mundanes. The chances of Shadowhunters being born in mixed relationships were very slim and even if they happened to be born, sadly, a lot of them were abandoned and left to survive on their own.

Magnus’ smirk grew when he turned around and watched his two precious sons; Max was holding Rafael up in his arms and the little one was giggling as he was tugging onto Max’s blue locks, pulling a bit too hard for the older’s liking, but he didn’t make a comment about it. However, he quite soon got tired of Rafe’s rough play and decided to entertain his brother with magic, making different kinds of animals flying across the room with his magic and the little Shadowhunter just kept clapping and giggling in excitement. Magnus’ heart filled with proudness when he watched the two, they were both such good kids and Magnus couldn’t ask for more.

Both of them were put through so much; especially Max after the first ten years of running away from the Clave. Magnus honestly thought that it would be easier to hide from the Clave, but the task was a lot more difficult than he expected it to be. They were moving a lot during the first few years, almost every couple of months they had to leave the place and hide all of the traces of them being there. Basically, they spent most of the days living in fear and even though Alec was dying to reconnect with his family, he couldn’t. It was too risky. He heard it from Dot that Jace and Clary were able to run away. She also told them that Clary gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, but even she didn’t know where the two of them were hiding. Just like the Clave was after Alec, so was it after Clary and the punishment that they were facing for running away was execution.

Alec couldn’t believe it; the Clave had gotten even madder during the first ten years and even though their power was increasing, they weren’t able to find them. Even though Alec wasn’t able to see Jace, he was okay with it, because he could feel him through their _parabatai_ bond and he knew that the blond was happy. So, that was all that mattered. He couldn’t locate him, because the protection spells were still up, but he was able to come with the terms of that. However, it killed him that he had no idea what had happened to his mother and sister after they broke him out. Some of the rumours said that they were imprisoned by the Clave, and the others said that they ran away as well. And then, the final battle broke down, which changed the Shadow world forever. In the battle many of Shadowhunters and Downworlders lost their lives, almost all of the races were wiped from existence after the battle.

Alec and Magnus fought along with them, even though there was a chance of them being caught, but they didn’t care. Alec hoped that he’d be able to see his family somewhere in the battle, but no such thing happened. They won, sure, but the cost was horrible. Magnus still had nightmares when he’d remember the battle field; so many people lost their lives that day. Downworlders and Shadowhunters fought alongside and finally the Clave stopped bothering them.

Hundred years later, the Clave didn’t exist anymore. There were still some people, which were considered as the officials, but they didn’t hold any more power. They weren’t needed anymore, which in a sense, made Alec and Magnus happy. After the battle, Alec finally stopped hiding and started reaching out again, but no matter how hard he tried finding Jace, he couldn’t. What was even stranger was that he couldn’t feel him anymore; it was if the other one disappeared and went to somewhere. Then, the pain came, ripping Alec almost apart and he finally realised what had happened; Jace must had passed away. It took Alec a lot to come with the terms that that happened. Magnus could still remember the sobs coming from the bedroom, but he couldn’t do anything about it. Alec was experiencing the price that came with immortality. What killed Alec even more was the fact that his parents probably passed away as well; if not in the battle, then from old age.

Rumours were going around that all of the Lightwoods lost their lives in the last battle and even though Alec didn’t want to believe it, he had to come with the terms that that probably happened. If they were still alive, he’d be able to find them! Alec searched for them for years to come, but because he couldn’t find any signs of them, he gave up and fell into depression. However, Alec was able to pull through it and after years of mourning and with a lot of Magnus’ and Max’s help, he was finally able to function properly again. Magnus was happy when Alec finally started smiling again, but at the same time he knew that Alec was still blaming himself. The warlock was heartbroken as well, but he was put through something like this too many times. He built on the walls and didn’t let that affect him anymore. Or so he thought, until he broke into tears years later somewhere in the middle of the night, apologising to Alec for going through this.

It was hard for Max as well; the little boy had to grow up in fear even though Magnus and Alec were going their best to keep him safe. But the little warlock understood it; he knew that his parents were doing their best and even though it hurt like hell not being able to see the rest of his family ever again, he understood and tried his best to put on a brave face.

Magnus cleared his throat when he realised that he was still staring at the cake and he looked down. Why was he remembering all of that? He hated remembering the past, because it was pointless. He and Alec were able to build happy lives for themselves and Magnus knew that he should be happy. Pouting, he turned to the boys, who were still playing around and he beamed with joy, his previous worries disappearing. He walked closer to the boys and then grinned when Rafe reached out with his little hands to be picked up and Max pouted.

Magnus smiled as Rafe kept bouncing up and down in his arms and he just placed a hand on top of his head. The little one was excited, because they were going to surprise Alec, so he understood him. “Now, now calm down,” said Magnus and Rafe’s eyes lit up when he pointed to the cake. “Want to eat the cake?” asked Magnus and Rafael quickly nodded. “Soon. We first need to wake up your dad up. What do you say?” asked the warlock and Rafael quickly nodded.

“Yes,” said the little boy and Magnus slowly put him down.

“Good boy. Now, go to Alec and wake him up, okay? But don’t tell him yet that we have something planned for him. Do you think you can keep a secret?” asked Magnus and with a serious face Rafael nodded.

“Yes. Rafe won’t tell dad,” said the boy and then quickly ran to Alec.

Max grinned when he watched his brother running into their father’s bedroom and he then walked closer to Magnus, who had a smile on his face as well. The younger one sighed as he kept looking at his brother, pressing his lips together. “He’s adorable,” he then said and Magnus beamed with joy, nodding in agreement.

“He is,” said Magnus and looked at Max. “So were you when you were his age. It’s a shame you had to grow up,” commented Magnus and Max just shook his head, but the smile on his face remained.

It didn’t take too long for Rafael to return back into the living room with Alec, holding onto his hand and he kept tugging Alec to keep on walking. Alec, who was still practically asleep, yawned and rubbed his eyes, but in the end followed his son into the living room, where he saw Magnus and Max waiting for him in there. Alec was immediately awake when he saw Max, because he didn’t know that the other was coming over. Happily, he walked to Magnus, placing a kiss on top of his lips and then gently ruffled Max’s hair, messing up his perfect hairdo. Max felt his cheeks heating up; even though he was more than a hundred years old, his parents were still able to make him feel like a little boy again. Rafael then stepped in between as well and when he reached up with his hands, Alec picked him up and kissed the top of his head.

“Good morning, darling,” said Magnus softly and Alec nodded, but yawned again, making little Rafael giggle and Max just smirked when he remembered that his father wasn’t a morning person at all. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did, until this little one decided to show up and wake me up,” said Alec playfully and looked at Rafael. He then looked at Max and smiled. “I didn’t know you were coming over,” he then said and looked at Magnus. “When did he come here?”

“Oh pretty early,” said Magnus. “Even Rafe woke up early today,” said the warlock then and Alec frowned.

“Why?” whined Alec and looked at the clock. In his opinion, it was still too early.

“Because,” said Max. “We needed to take care of some things,” he then added and a smirk spread across his face, his eyes travelling to the cake that he, Magnus and Rafe baked that morning for Alec.

Rafael kept looking at the cake proudly and in the end, because he couldn’t contain his excitement anymore, he quickly pointed to the cake. “Look, dad. Cake!” he exclaimed happily and then Alec’s eyes widened, because it took him a while to register the cake. He leaned to look into the kitchen and when he saw the chaos inside of the kitchen he smiled; the three of them must’ve prepared a cake for him. Over the years, Alec kind of got tired of celebrating birthdays, but Magus made sure that they had something prepared for that day each year. He had almost forgotten that it was his birthday that year! Rafe then put his hand onto Alec’s chest. “Happy birthday,” he then said, wanting to be the first one to wish his father a happy birthday and Alec just gave him a tight hug.

Max huffed and gave Rafael an annoyed look. He wanted to be the first one to wish Alec a happy birthday. Magnus noticed that and just burst into loud laughter, but then it died down and he shrugged. “Now, now, Max… you’re a big brother now. You have to know when to-”

“I’m not five anymore, I know,” said Max annoyed and went over to Alec, giving him his wishes as well and last, but definitely not least, Magnus went closer to his husband and gave him another kiss.

“Happy birthday, Alexander,” whispered Magnus against Alec’s lips.

“Thank you,” said Alec and pressed one final kiss on top of Magnus’ forehead.

Before they had the cake, Alec walked into the kitchen, getting the plates. As he was on his way back into the living room, he was interrupted by a knock at the door and he hurried to the door. Before, he was terrified of answering the door, but now he had nothing to be afraid of. No one was after them anymore. Probably. Placing the four plates in his left hand, he grabbed the doorknob with his right one. Honestly, he didn’t know who it was. Maybe one of the neighbours. Currently, they were living in a small village of Italy and neighbours coming to visit wasn’t all that uncommon. So, because he thought that it was one of the neighbours, he almost had a heart attack when he opened the door and saw the person standing there.

Alec’s heart stopped beating and he froze in place for a split second. Shocked, he dropped the plates, which hit the ground with a loud thump, breaking into pieces, but he cared for none of that. His eyes were wide opened, placing a hand on top of his mouth as a loud gasp left his mouth and he had to take a step back. He had to sit down, because his legs couldn’t support his weight, but he couldn’t move. Then, tears came into his eyes and he let out a hitched breath. The person standing in front of his eyes was Isabelle. Izzy. His younger sister. Alec had so many questions, but nothing came out. Was it even real? Maybe she was just an illusion? He spent so many years getting over the fact that he lost the family that he had and now… what?

“Isabelle?” whispered Alec, his voice breaking. Because the other wasn’t moving as well, he thought that he was making things up, but then Izzy moved, stepping forward and Alec quickly stepped back, not even knowing why. “H-how?” he then stammered, trying not to break down. It made no sense. Even if she survived the battle, there was no way that she could still be alive. Plus, she didn’t look old. She looked a bit older than he remembered, but still… she was young. How?!

Isabelle bowed her head down and swallowed back her tears, but then she smiled. As she smiled Alec froze when he saw the fangs and shivers ran up his spine. She was a vampire? Alec’s head was spinning and instead of making a step back, he stepped closer to Isabelle, gently touching her face, just to see if she was real. He gasped, because she didn’t disappear as he placed a finger against her forehead. But, she was much, much colder to the touch. So she really did turn into a vampire. Of course, then it would make sense and-

“Happy birthday, big brother,” she suddenly said and that was all that it took for Alec to break down. He hadn’t heard her voice in over a century and a loud gasp left Isabelle’s mouth when Alec wrapped his arms around her and a loud sob left his mouth. He cried harder when the realisation that Isabelle was really there started sinking in. Isabelle chewed on her lower lip and then did the same; she had been longing to see her brother for such a long time.

After they had separated that day, Clary and Jace went onto their own as well, running away from the Clave. As for Isabelle and Maryse, they were locked up. However, Robert made sure that he got them out of the prison. After some years passed, Isabelle was faced with the same reality as Alec did all those years ago. Simon was immortal; she wasn’t. After she put much thought to it, she decided to do the same; she wanted to do it for herself and for Simon as well. She couldn’t bear to leave him one day, so after months of fighting and debating with Simon, he agreed to turn her into a vampire. After the final battle was won, Isabelle was able to reconnect with Clary and Jace, but couldn’t find Alec and Magnus. But, she never gave up and after a century of searching, she finally found her brother.

When Alec dropped the plates, Magnus hurried to the door and had to take a few moments to realise what was actually going on. He was as shocked to see Isabelle standing there and his eyes welled up when he saw the two siblings hugging. Magnus wanted to step closer, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. Max soon came to the door as well and his eyes widened when he saw tears rolling down Magnus’ cheeks. “Papa, what’s going on?” asked Max and then turned his head, his eyes widening when he saw his aunt.

It was when Alec and Isabelle broke the hug that Max literally ran up to his aunt and gave her a big hug. It didn’t matter to him how she was there; all that he cared for was that she was there. Isabelle gently laughed when she saw Max running up to him and when they parted, she let out a small gasp. “I almost couldn’t recognise you,” whispered Isabelle as she was wiping away her tears. “You’ve grown up, you’re a handsome young man now, Max,” she said and Max’s wet cheeks heated up.

“Isabelle,” stammered Magnus and slowly walked closer to them. “How?”

“How, what?” joked Isabelle, still crying and she then puffed her cheeks, looking around the room. “You’ve got quite a nice place. I guess that you decorated it, Magnus? Because I doubt that even after a century my brother would be able to learn something,” she said and as she spoke, Magnus was able to see her fangs, finally realising the explanation of her still being among the living.

To him, it didn’t matter if Isabelle was now a child of the night; it made absolutely no difference and he then gave her a hug as well, staying in her arms for quite a while. While the four of them were standing at the entrance door, little Rafael slowly walked closer to them. He recognised the woman that his father was hugging; Alec had shown him picture of his aunt Izzy. He had heard so many stories of how awesome she was and he was happy to finally meet her. Gathering up his courage, Rafael walked closer to them and then gently tugged onto Alec’s jeans.

“Dad,” said Rafael with a small voice and his eyes widened when he saw his father bursting in tears again, concerned. He didn’t know what was going on, but he didn’t like that all of the people there were crying. As Rafael called out to Alec, Isabelle looked into his direction and her smile grew wider when she saw the little boy. Without thinking twice, she stepped inside of the apartment and kneeled down to the boy, who flinched when she was suddenly so close to him. Rafael wasn’t afraid of her, he just didn’t know her, and so he was a little bit shy.

“Hello there,” said Isabelle softly, quickly wiping the traces of tears away and Rafael perked up when he was spoken to. He looked at Magnus, who gave him a nod of encouragement and Rafael slowly looked at Isabelle and gave her a shy smile.

“Hello,” said the little boy and Isabelle chuckled. So, Alec and Magnus decided to have another child. Seeing that made her happy and she beamed with joy.

“I don’t think we’ve met yet, right?” said Isabelle and Rafael slowly shook his head. “My name is Isabelle, but most people just call me Izzy. I’m your dad’s younger sister,” she then said and Rafael slowly smiled, nodding, because he already knew all of that. “What is your name, young man?”

“Rafe,” said the boy.

“How old are you?”

Rafael fiddled with his fingers and then reached up his little hand, showing three fingers to Isabelle. “Three,” he said. His adorable reaction made Isabelle smile widely and Rafael’s eyes went wide when he saw Isabelle’s fangs. Up until then, he had never had a chance to see a vampire, so he reached up with his hand as curiosity got the best of him in attempt to touch Isabelle’s fangs. Izzy giggled when Rafael touched her lip.

“Interested in those?” asked Isabelle and smiled again, pointing to her fangs. The boy’s eyes lit up with curiosity and he nodded. Magnus walked closer to the two of them, feeling that it was kind of inappropriate for Rafael to be so bluntly interested in Izzy’s fangs and he knelt down to the two of them.

“Now, now Rafe, it’s kind of rude to-”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s okay,” said Isabelle and Rafe cheered up after seeing that Isabelle didn’t mind his curiosity. “I’m a vampire,” she then said, speaking to Rafael then and the boy slowly nodded, still fascinated. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“So cool,” said Rafael, making Isabelle laugh and before she got up onto her legs, she ruffled Rafael’s hair, looking at Alec.

Alec was just silently standing there, not knowing what to do. He was a mess, somewhere in the middle of smiling and breaking down in tears. After a while he moved and invited Isabelle into their living room. After closing the door, he walked to the bar and poured himself a glass of whiskey, emptying the glass in one gulp. In the meantime, Magnus stepped to him, placing a hand on top of his shoulder. Alec turned around, Magnus’ heart tightening when he saw Alec’s face. “Are you okay?” stammered Magnus and Alec shrugged.

“I don’t know,” whispered Alec. “I just… have so many questions. I still can’t believe that she’s here and-”

“I know,” said Magnus. “I hope you’re not judging her for becoming a vampire, darling.”

“God no,” whispered Alec, tears present in his eyes. “I’m so happy,” he then added and Magnus nodded.

“Go tell her that,” whispered the warlock and looked at Isabelle, who was now sitting on the couch and was chatting with Max and Rafael. “You two need to talk. Go on, I’ll keep the boys busy as you two talk. Okay?” asked Magnus and Alec nodded, giving Magnus a quick kiss. As Alec went over to Izzy to talk, Magnus took the boys into the kitchen, saying that they needed to clean the chaos in the kitchen.

When finally alone, Alec looked at Isabelle. The two of them sat there in silence. It was Alec who broke the silence by taking in a deep breath. “I thought that you were dead,” whispered Alec, his voice shaking terribly. He gripped onto his jeans and bit his lower lip. “I thought that you lost your life in the final battle. I was searching for you, but so many people lost their lives in that battle. Rumours were flying around that all of the Lightwoods were wiped away in the final battle, so I-”

“Those were just horrible lies,” said Isabelle and took a moment of silence. “The Clave locked me and mom up after we broke you out, but then dad for us out of there. However the Clave was always harassing us after that, especially because I changed… became a vampire,” she then said and Alec let out a hitched breath.

“How did mom and dad…?” he stammered, not knowing how to finish his sentence.

“Of old age,” said Isabelle and smiled through her tears. “Despite all of the harassment, they were able to make up after years. They lived long, happy lives,” she said and made a short pause. “After the battle was over, I searched for you, but I couldn’t find you, no matter how much I tried. But I was able to reconnect with Clary and Jace,” she then said and Alec’s heart broke.

“Yeah?” asked Alec, tears in his eyes as well. Isabelle was able to find them, but he didn’t. He stopped searching, regretting that decision then. His heart was heavy with guilt and he barely managed to breathe. “How did… I mean,” stammered Alec. “Were they happy? I still feel guilty… it’s me that’s… God,” whispered Alec, hiding his face into his palms, sobbing again.

Isabelle placed a hand on top of Alec’s back and started drawing uneven patterns against her brother’s back. “Yeah, they were happy,” said Isabelle. “I met their children and still keep contact with their grandchildren and great-grandchildren,” said Isabelle and Alec’s sniffles grew louder, weight lifting off of his chest. He was happy to hear that; he was happy to know that Jace and Clary were able to live in peace and happiness. Even though it hurt like hell speaking of those things, it worked soothing against the old wounds that never healed properly. “If you want, I could introduce them to you sometime,” she said and Alec nodded.

“I’d love that,” whispered Alec, lifting his head up.

“Also, Jace told me to give you this if I’d ever see you again,” said Isabelle and pulled out a letter and a black box out of her purse. With shaky fingers, Alec opened up the letter, careful not to tear the paper, which was already fragile. Inside of the envelope, there were a few pictures of Jace, Clary and their three children. All of them seemed happy on them and Alec’s chest tightened when he unfolded the actual letter, almost breaking down when he saw Jace’s handwriting.

_Alec!_

_I hope that this letter will reach you one day._

_First off; you should stop blaming yourself for what happened. I know that you’re still blaming yourself, because I can feel it through our bond. I’ve said it so many times; it’s not your fault. Also, I and Clary are happy, happier than ever in fact. Even though we had to run away, we were still able to make a good life for ourselves. Our children are wonderful, I wish you could meet them._

_The only thing that I hate is that you’re still young and I’m… an old man now. But if I think of it again, I’m kind of glad that you can’t see me. I bet you’d make fun of my looks, there’s no way around it._

_No, but on a serious note… you should forgive yourself, because you did nothing wrong. Clary feels the same and is wishing you all the best._

_Best wishes,_

_Jace_

_PS: I hope you haven’t driven Magnus insane by now_

Alec read Jace’s letter three, four times. Alec kept smiling through his tears; god he missed Jace’s cockiness. He bit into his lower lip and placed the letter down, his fingers shaking terribly. It was true, he was still blaming himself, but after he read that, he felt better. Finally, now that he knew for sure that he and Clary were happy, was he finally able to forgive himself. Alec then took the box into his hands and placed a hand on top of his mouth when he saw Jace’s _stele._ He looked at Isabelle, who was smiling and then he shook his head.

“T-this,” stammered Alec.

“He wanted you to have it,” said Isabelle and smiled. “Also, he’s right. Stop blaming yourself. He and Clary lived long and happy lives as well.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” whispered Alec and wiped his tears away. “And you, you’re a vampire now, huh?”

“Yeah,” said Isabelle. “I came to the same place as you; I couldn’t live with the fact that I’ll end up leaving Simon one day. So, in the end, I chose immortality as well,” she said and looked at Alec, searching for any signs of judgement in her brother’s eyes, but all she found were happiness and love.

“Good,” said Alec. “And you two are still together?”

“Yeah, Simon’s been wonderful to me,” said Isabelle and Alec nodded.

“I’m so happy.”

“Yeah, so am I. I was searching for you for years and was finally able to find you and Magnus the last month,” said Isabelle and Alec frowned.

“You should come to us sooner,” said Alec.

“Yeah, but I wanted our reunion to be done on a special day, your birthday,” said Isabelle and giggled when she saw the look on Alec’s face.

 “Ah, yeah, makes perfect sense,” said Alec with a smile and sighed, he missed Isabelle’s dramatic side as well. “This is by far the best birthday gift that I’ve received,” said Alec then and gave Isabelle another hug. “Thank you.”

Magnus watched and listened the whole thing from the kitchen, smiling and smirked when he noticed that Isabelle had seen him. She signed the three of them to come into the living room. Magnus sat down next to Alec, holding his hand and Alec sighed happily, leaning against Magnus as he watched Rafael and Max telling Isabelle all about how they helped Magnus with baking the cake for Alec.

“Happy birthday, darling,” said Magnus all of the sudden and Alec nodded.

“Thank you, Magnus,” whispered Alec and kissed his husband again, linking their fingers together. He gripped onto Jace’s letter once again and closed his eyes, the guilt finally disappearing. He then placed the letter against his chest and let out a hitched breath. “ _Thank you Jace and Clary,_ ” he then whispered and Magnus looked at him.

“Everything okay?” asked Magnus, worried when he heard Alec saying that.

“More than okay, everything’s perfect,” whispered Alec and showed the letter to Magnus. The warlock smiled as he read through it and then looked at Alec, who seemed different than before. He was happier and Magnus noticed that. Throughout the years, Alec claimed to be over the whole thing, but deep inside Magnus knew that Alec was still blaming himself. There were deep sadness and guilt present in his eyes almost every day. However, now that he looked into his eyes, he found only peace and happiness. Finally. “I’m so happy,” whispered Alec then and Magnus nodded in agreement.

“So am I,” he whispered and then closed his eyes when Alec kissed him again.

Finally, Alec felt truly happy. The sound of Isabelle chatting with his children warmed up his heart and he sighed happily; that day truly was the best birthday ever. And after a century of holding deep guilt inside of himself, he was able to let go of it, finally feeling like his old self. With Isabelle back in his life, he knew that things were going to get a lot more interesting, so to say.

Alec’s worries disappeared and for once, he was excited about the future, with his children, husband and sister by his side. Magnus felt the same, he was happier than ever and even though he had many more questions for Isabelle, he decided to let those go for the time being.

They had all of the time in the world to talk about more serious topics.

* * *

_**The end** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is... we have come to an end.  
> Thank you so much for all of your support, it really means a lot to see that people enjoyed reading this fanfic, even though it turned a lot more angsty than I first intended it to be ^^;
> 
> I'll try to come up with something happier and fluffier in the future  
> So until then, take care!  
> Love,  
> Katy*

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Comments & opinions are well appreciated.


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